Tales from the Club Room 2: Radiant Dawn
by Stevethesuperotaku
Summary: In the second book of the Club Room Saga, Lance Ryan must contend with even more supernatural and bizarre events alongside the crazy members of Genshiken. Told in episodic format this book contains seasons 5-8
1. Chapter 1

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 49: Madarame and the ghost of Lance's Past

_8:51 PM Coshocton Ohio_

Kuzco and Melina raced through the desolate streets, they were looking for them. What they were they had no idea, some Dark Realm evil that had possessed this town and was manifesting itself. Kuzco ducked into an alley and saw the stairwell. "Come on, down here!" he said racing down the steps Melina's moccasins clacking on the concrete. Busting the door open they raced inside and slammed it shut locking it and bracing it with their backs. The light was dim and the walls were decorated with flags, POW-MIA, AFL-CIO typical small town banners. A picture of Johnny Cash with his middle finger raised and the words "Cash Only" was taped to the wall next to the bar. Catching their breath, they sat and waited, hopefully soon, for someone to come.

_8:52 PM Spirit realm control center_

"Connect me to the reapers." Shingami-sama said stepping in front of a large screen. Kid-kun typed the code. Static filled the screen as a blurry image of Reaper Kuzco came into view then faded. "This is Spirit realm central command to Reaper Team Bravo. Can you hear me? Shinigami-sama to Reaper Team Bravo, are you there?" Shinigami-sama said, Kuzco's voice waxed and waned through the static. "They got us! I don't know how Melina and I are the only ones left. It was a fucking ambush." He said Shinigami-sama looked at the screen. "Where are Reaper Makuouchi and Reaper Jasmine?" he said. The door behind them began to rattle, "For the love the creator, send help!" Kuzco said as the door burst open and the two reapers, were both drug violently out of the room. Shingami-sama looked at screen and turned to Kid-kun. "We need our best reaper's there. Give me the status of Reaper Kouga." Kid-kun turned to him. "He is in Germany still." He said. Shingami-sama looked at his son. "Reaper Inuyasha, what about him, is he available? He said Kid-Kun shook his head. "He's still investigating that rogue Djinn case in Egypt." Shinigami-sama looked at his map. "We have no choice. Send our newest Reapers to Coshocton." Kid-Kun stood up, "Father, sending Reaper Lance and Reaper Angela would be suicide. You're out of your mind!" He said. Shinigami-sama sat down and shook his head. "It's a risk we'll have to take. I am not going to lose four good reapers. As soon as you know their status give them their assignment." Shinigami-sama said, Kid-kun nodded and walked out of the command center.

Lance awoke to find himself in a theater, not sure how he wound up there. He had remembered being stabbed in the neck but that was all, he was positive Shinigami-sama had healed him before he lost too much blood. The lights were still on and the scent of popcorn lingered in the air like a relic of days past, walking down the aisle he heard a familiar voice. "C-come right here, you've got the b-best seat in the house!" It was Kugayama. He was wearing a white sport coat with a white dress shirt underneath and a black tie. "What the hell is this?" Lance said, as he sat down and the lights dimmed. "Just a little entertainment before you return to your realm." Kugayama said without stuttering an odd thing for him. There on the screen was a diner, the same diner he had seen Ann in when he attempted suicide before he and Angela were married. There sat Ann at a booth, but it was who walked into the diner that caught Lance's eye. There in his normal attire was Madarame. "No," Lance whispered. "How did he end up in here, he isn't dead?" "H-he attempted to kill himself after he couldn't impress that girl." Kugayama said his stutter returning. Lance felt sick; he sat and watched making silent prayers that nothing would happen.

The diner was a classy affair. Red Leather booths and chrome lined tables were lined against walls while alternating black and white tiles covered the floor. The Ronettes "Be my Baby" was playing in the background. There in the center booth was a woman with brown hair and a floor length red dress. "Where am I? Am I dead?" Madarame said, "No," Ann said "far from it." Madarame sat down at the booth and looked at the woman, "Who are you?" he said as the song on the jukebox changed from The Ronettes to Roy Orbison and "Only the Lonely" "I am here to help you with your romantic problems. Consider me your love doctor." Ann said "You must be thirsty, think of something to drink and it should appear." She said Madarame then noticed a pitcher of rice beer and mug sat in the middle of the table, he poured himself some and drank. "You know she isn't real." Ann said, "Who?" Madarame asked, "Fumi, of course or as she is more well known in the spirit realm Angela Burton. In your realm she calls herself Angela Evans but that is her adopted name. Her old family had connections to the last great one." Madarame was puzzled, "Last great one, and who might I ask is that?" he said taking a cautious sip of rice beer. "Kuchiki Manabu of course, who else would I be talking about?" Madarame choked on his beer, "He's not, you know, alive? Is he?" Ann smirked, "Not anymore. Damn skull masked fucker turned him into a lost soul tree and now he can't leave the sprit realm ever. Fate worse than death if you ask me; of course you can't really die here." Madarame looked at her "How is Ohno's friend connected to him?" he said. "Well if you must know Angie's parents were archaeologists who were looking for relics in the town where Kuchiki was born. They were both sacrificed to a demon at the cotton drifting festival; this was two years after she was born of course. They found her at a campsite and were going to kill her but Kuchiki's grandmother, who was a high priestess, saved her life." Ann said. Madarame poured himself another mug. "Why did she look like Saki-chan?" he asked. "The Evans owns a technology company in California, they were developing a new kind of nanotechnology that would replicate skin and make identical copies of anyone's face. Angie knew about it, did some homework and broke into her dad's lab and made one of Kasukabe, the end. Now let's talk about your love life." She said, Madarame guzzled another beer and smiled.

"How's he holding up?" Angela Ryan asked as she sat next to Kasukabe, she was referring to Madarame. "He's gone through five pints; heart rate is okay, I'm sure he'll live. I can't imagine being Ohno and finding that mess. The bathtub looked like hell. How's Lance?" Angela sighed, "He's fine, lost a little but not much. I'm letting him rest; doctors want to keep in overnight to see if he's okay." Kasukabe looked at her, "I knew something wasn't right the night that woman came to my door claiming to be my twin. I fell for it though, hook, line, and sinker. Did the police do anything about the two baka's that kidnapped you and Ogi-chin? "Angela looked up. "Planned charges filed here, and an extradition back to the states after they serve time here, they won't let them get the death penalty though. That's the problem with these foreign nations. They don't want our criminals, but when we want to get them back and we want them to suffer for what they did, they won't them back. Although I think aiding and abetting a fugitive is not a death penalty crime." Kasukabe stood up, "I'm going to get something to drink. You want anything?" Angela shook her head "No, I'm just fine." She said, put her head down and closed her eyes.

"I have never been lucky in love. For years, I thought I never needed a girlfriend. But right now I feel this emptiness. My brother has a wife and kids, my sister has a husband and is expecting. I feel I'm letting my family down and shaming them. Bacchi-gu is less of an embarrassment than me." Madarame began to cry. "Taijin Kyofusho. It is not uncommon among Japanese individuals. My ex-fiancé compared it to a social anxiety disorder. You do know my fiancé don't you?" she said. Madarame shook his head, "Who's that?" Ann smiled, "Lance Ryan.

"She's up to something Kugayama, I want to know and I want to know now!" Lance shouted, "H-he'll be all right, that is unless she gets him to kiss her." Kugayama said. Lance turned to him "What happens then?" Kugayama smiled, "T-then she can enter the m-mortal realm!" Lance looked at the screen and then got up. "Get me in there now!" Lance shouted Kugayama shook his head and put his finger to his lips. "Here comes t-the b-best part." Lance looked at the screen and listened. "You know you need a girlfriend," Ann said, "have you ever kissed a woman before?" Madarame shook his head. Ann smiled, "Let me teach you!" She said and pressed her lips to his. Lance raced down to the screen. "NO. Madarame stop, you don't know what you're doing!" He shouted as they began to passionately kiss. Lance banged his fists on the screen. "No God damn it. She's evil!" Lance then felt the screen give way and the diner filled his view. Lance grabbed Ann by the hair and slammed her on the tile floor. Her head made a cracking sound on the floor and black blood began to pool around her. "Too late, babe, see ya on the other side!" Ann said and dissolved into the floor. He looked at Madarame; Ann's lip glitter clung to his lips. "Get out of here now Madarame," Lance shouted "you don't belong here; this is a realm in between the living and the dead. Just walk out those doors and never come back you hear me!" Madarame nodded and stepped through the red doors and opened his eyes in the mortal realm.

Lance looked at the floor where Ann had dissolved, and touched the black blood. It felt like the pop syrups they kept in boxes when he worked at Kent State and had to do dining room at Rosie's. "God help us all." He said and walked out the door.

_To Be continued. . . . _


	2. Chapter 2

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 50: Something is wrong (Very wrong) In Tokyo

"So in summation class, the semi colon can be used for conjunctive adverbs as well as compound sentences. That is all for today, read chapter sixty and be prepared, there may be a pop quiz." Lance said as he dismissed his class of English students, it had been two weeks since he was in the hospital, Madarame was out and happy, but still had his horn dog of a cousin living with him. He started college this week and he was going to join Genshiken as much as Lance and the females in the group hated the idea. He was walking out the door when his cell phone played the familiar "Kujibiki Unbalance" theme Lance answered. "Hello?" he said. "Where are they?" It was Ohno screaming at the top of her lungs and nearly busting Lance's eardrums. "Where's what Ohno, Jesus Christ don't shout." Ohno continued, "I am missing a Chun-LI costume and a pair of cat ears! I know you have them!" Lance stopped. "Whoa, back the damn truck up here. What makes you think I have your cosplay outfits? I am going as Lelouch this year and Tanaka is still working on my outfit." Ohno screamed, "Because earlier this year you dressed up in one of my outfits and danced to a Disco song by some American woman in the club room. You have done it before and now you're doing it again." Lance heard music coming from the club room. "Ohno I am at the club room now. Meet me here and we'll sort this damn thing out because obviously you have lost your damn mind!" Lance said and hung up. He wasn't prepared for what was next.

The familiar guitar chords of a Chris Issak song were coming from the club room; "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing" Lance thought was what it was called. Opening the door Lance was greeted by Madarame in the stolen Cosplay items and a pair of high heels. He was sitting on the table his legs crossed, Lance wanted to throw up. "Hey baby!" Madarame said. "I ain't your god damn baby. Get the hell of that table and get into some normal clothes." Lance said. Madarame frowned "Don't you know who I am?" He asked Lance shut of the music. "Harunobu Madarame, born October 23rd 1982, you like military anime and is right now are making me want to throw up!" He said. Madarame shook his head "You don't even recognize your own ex fiancé?" Lance stood there stunned, "No, oh hell no, this isn't possible. You can't be Ann!" Madarame laughed, "Don't I look like her?" He asked Lance shook his head. "Damn, Kishen told me I would take physical form. I must have made a mistake somewhere." "When did this occur?" Lance asked, "About three days ago, I was in limbo for a while so I guess I just now manifested myself. Funny, I thought for certain I would have a normal body." Madarame said just as Ohno walked in and screamed. "Get it off, get it off get it off!" She shouted pounding on Madarame's chest with her fists. "Who's this bitch?" Madarame said, "Who are you calling a bitch! You damn well know who I am and am warning you now, take off my cosplay outfit and my cat ears or else I will kill you!" Ohno shouted. Lance took Ohno out of the club room. "Look Ohno, this is going to sound weird but that's not Madarame in there." Ohno looked at him, "Who is it, the freaking tooth fairy? He's in my cosplay outfit and my cat ears so obviously he has lost his damn mind since his suicide attempt." Lance shook his head and proceeded to tell her what happened two weeks ago.

Jimmy Kudo woke up in a daze. He remembered drinking something, something nasty; something somebody slipped into his Coke. His vision was blurry; blinking a couple times he looked at the sleeves of his Super Mario Brothers shirt they hung loose on his arms, his arms, where were his arms? His legs were missing too, what the hell had happened to him? He then tried to stand up but tripped over the legs of his pants. It was then he noticed he wasn't himself. He was short, about four foot two his clothes now made him look ridiculous. It was then he heard a voice come from one end of the room. "Come on, we can't keep our audience waiting." He looked behind him there was a man in a top hat and a tuxedo. The upper part of his face was covered by a mask with little mirrors all over it. A furry boa was wrapped around his neck. He felt some clothes hit his face. "Put these on Conan, and make it snappy we the third act is almost over." The man said Jimmy could hear music with a driving beat to it playing in the distance, "Where am I? What the hell is going on?" The man laughed, "I am the master of ceremonies of this unique cabaret and you sir are my latest act. Now get dressed, Ippo is almost done and I have paying customers wanting to see Conan the world's smartest boy!" Jimmy got dressed and looked around on the wall was a poster. It read:

Come one, Come all

Your deepest darkest desires

Your wildest fantasies

Your greatest dreams

All are real

Come to the Dark Cabaret

In the old Carnegie Library on Fourth Street

Adults only: no one under 18 admitted

"So how do we get her out?" Angela asked as she and the others stared at Madarame, still dressed as a woman. Lance had told them the same thing he told Ohno "I don't know but I may know someone who does. Let me call Tilden and see if he can give me some advice." Lance said as he got up to dial his brother. "What does that hillbilly know?" Madarame said still speaking as Ann. "Plenty just wait I'll send your ass back to the spirit realm."

Tilden Ryan was underneath his Chevy S-10 changing the oil when he heard the cordless phone near him ring. Wiping the grease of his hands with a cloth he answered. "Howdy, Ryan residence." He said "Bro, it's me!" Lance said, "We'll I'll be damned, it's been a few months Lance how ya been. Are ya still in Japan?" Lance smiled, "Yes I am. Look You live with and are in love with a member of the spirit realm I need someone's advice. Is Kagura there?" he said Tilden let out a chuckle. "Yeah she better be! Kagura, Lance needs some spirit realm advice." Kagura walked out to the Garage and grabbed the phone. "Lance-san, what is going on? Is it Kuchiki?" she said Lance spoke. "Look Madarame came had a close encounter with the spirit realm and now he's possessed by my ex-fiancé. Do you know any incantations or chants are something to get her out?" Kagura got serious. "What you need to do is give him something to drink, but it has to be something that has some kind of spirit energy. I suggest getting her favorite soda and saying these words: Klaatu Baranda Nikto." Lance was puzzled, "Isn't that something Ash from 'Army of Darkness 'had to say in order to get back to his time." Kagura laughed, "I went behind Father's back and helped Sam Rami write that whole movie. I helped write a lot of scary movies in the 90's" Lance shrugged, "Okay if you say so. Thanks Kagura, give Tilden my best." He said and hung up and walked towards the Dr Pepper Machine.

Shinigami-sama was looking at the file on the small town known as Coshocton. The town had had its share of ups and downs. Currently downs prevailed over ups. He had sent the reapers there because something had happened in the basement of an old library. When Coshocton was founded as a canal town there were already Natives living there. Yet these Native Americans were not typical of any in Ohio or anywhere in the United States. They believed in an elder god that was a god that could be good but most of the time was evil. His name was Ryuk the same Ryuk that turned Kishen into a monster, a god of madness he would cause the Natives to go on massacres to appease him. He was also a god of desire and would sometimes allow the new Ohio settlers to go and experience with the natives their darkest deviant desires. He was finally stopped when Shinigami-sama's father sealed him away in a cask, a cask that was now bricked up in what was the old library. When Szilard Quates, destroyed the dark realm and began rebuilding it he stored Ryuk's spirit in the globe of souls where the old dark realm was. But things were falling apart, the security measures designed to keep evil out were failing to strong negative energy that had build up over time causing little fissures in the globe allowing evil to escape. Nobody could prevent it, nobody knew how; a realm had never been torn down. It didn't matter now, four reapers were missing. They were there to investigate the resurgence of madness in the town, caused by something unknown. All they knew was that there was activity in the cask site and they needed to find out why. Shinigami-sama looked at Reaper Lance and Angela's files then looked up. Through his one good eye he saw the indicator lights of the four reaper's monitors, none were on. He sighed. "Father, please help me know I'm making the right decision." He said to himself and stood up and walked towards his chambers.

Lance walked into the club room with a can of Dr Pepper, he had followed Kagura's instructions, and he now left it up to fate. "Hey Ann, sweetheart, I got you something to drink. I thought you might be thirsty?" Lance said as Madarame grasped the can, "Thanks dear, how you don't know how long it's been since I have had the doctor." He said and chugged the can slamming it down onto the table when he finished it. "You gave him a bloody can of soda? How the hell is that going to work?" Angela said Lance gave her a knowing wink. Within moments Madarame clutched his throat gasping for breath, he fell over backwards and began convulsing. "What the hell was in that soda?" Saki-chan said as a blue mist poured out of Madarame. Lance knew what that was and dove into Kasukabe's purse and pulled out a pocket mirror. Holding it over Madarame he watched as Ann's soul was sent back to the spirit realm her screams filling the room. Madarame sat up and looked at everyone, then looked at himself. "Can someone explain this?" he said and then stood up and looked at everyone. The sound of a camera phone taking a picture was heard in the silence, it was Lance's. "Payback's a bitch!" He said Madarame screamed, "Don't you dare upload that!" he said but Lance was already on his laptop and the picture was now on Genshiken's Facebook. Lance smiled, "Don't worry only everyone in the world will see it!" Madarame growled, "Just you wait Lance Ryan, I will get you back." He barely noticed Ohno behind him. "Ohno Noggin Chop!" she said and slammed her hand on Madarame's head. "That'll teach you to wear my outfits!" The gang laughed not knowing that the happy times wouldn't last.

Shingami-sama sat at his desk and turned to Kid-Kun. "Call Reaper's Lance and Angela my son, it is time." He said Kid-kun punched in the code. "May the gods watch us all." he whispered.

_To be continued. . . ._


	3. Chapter 3

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 51: Through a Globe Darkly

_For Lance: whose constant inspiration fills every story_

Ann walked into the chamber of Shinigami-sama her hands chained behind her back. "We have brought the prisoner." A guard said as the defiant spirit stood in front of the realm master. "Ann, how many times have we had to bring you here? You are one of the hardest people to keep in dark realm. Now I must find another way to keep you there. I think a little transformation is in order. Guards, take her to the tree room!" Shinigami-sama said as he sat down in his chair and waited for his two reapers to contact him. Shinigami-sama didn't even know that Ann had managed to break the poorly constructed chains, the alarm sounded as she raced down the hall. "God damn it, don't you fucking people know what chains to use when transporting a level one threat! Get her Now!" Shinigami-sama said turning to his guards. Ann raced until she found an entrance to the mortal realm just as one of the members of the Genshiken gang had entered the bathroom to check her makeup.

Angela Ryan was freaked out by the incident involving Madarame but she had gotten over the initial shock of her husband being seduced by another man and relaxed. She looked in the mirror, a little eyeliner and she would be just fine, then she saw her. The face in the mirror wasn't hers but that of a woman from Lance's past, his ex-fiancé. Ann stood there stunned not feeling the woman's icy hands grip her arms and drag her into the mirror, and saw the spirit realm. Before she blacked out she remembered smelling the scent of sulfur. Ann stepped out of the dark realm in a new body and the new woman in Lance's life was in a much, much darker place."

"God damn it Lance, take the picture off now!" Madarame said dressed in a drab colored button up shirt and khaki pants. "Look Madarame, you put a picture of me on there, now I have my revenge, so fuck off." Madarame screamed, "I was under duress! In case you didn't know, I did nearly commit suicide!" Ohno stood up and shouted at him, "I won't be able to get the scent of AXE out of this damn thing now! This is expensive fabric, do you hear me, expensive fabric! Obviously you wanted to die again, or else you wouldn't have pulled this shit." Sassahara stood up, "Everyone calm down, I'm sure nothing strange like this will happen again." He said, Lance said as Angela entered the room, Lance looked at her; it didn't take an idiot to know that this wasn't his wife, his wife didn't wear that much eyeliner. "Aw hell no, god damn son of a bitch, she's gone and done it again!" He said, Angela sat on Lance's lap, "Like my new look, babe?" She said as Bacchi-Gu walked in, "Oh, thank you Jesus! I was wondering when your woman would be giving out lap dances. I'm next, ok?" he said, "You fucking pervert, my wife is not giving you a lap dance; we are going to bathroom now!" Lance said dragging Angela/Ann behind him waking Yusuke! The wolf spirit baby opened his eyes and his little human hands clasped the front of the carrier doing a back flip and sticking it as he landed on the floor. "Uh Ohno, is a baby supposed to do that?" Bacchi-gu said as Yusuke began to grow in height and his ears began to point. "Oh no, this isn't good!" Kasukabe said as the formerly months old baby had now grown into an adult wolf spirit. "I need to speak to Reapers Lance and Angela. It is imperative they come to the spirit realm now." Yusuke said as Sassahara looked at the man. "They're in the bathroom doing lord knows what. Ohno what's going on?" he said Ohno chuckled, "Kind of a long story, but to summarize, Kouga from Inuyasha is the baby's father." Madarame looked at her. "No way, Yokai exist, cool!" Yusuke spoke. "Only in the spirit realm, young man, now, could one of you direct me to the bathroom?" he said, Madarame stood up and lead the way.

"Where is Angela?" Lance said his hand's wrapped around the possessed woman's throat slamming her head into the wall. Ann giggled, "Look into the mirror and find out. I am sure you will be greatly surprised." She said as Lance released his grip and looked at the smeared mirror. There surrounded by hundreds of demons was Angela. She was trying to fight them off, but the amount was too great. "You stupid, sadistic, fucking whore why, huh why?" Lance said, Ann laughed, "I can take you too her if you want? I warn you, the dark realm isn't what it used to be so you may go a little crazy." Lance grabbed Ann and jumped into the mirror. "You know this place better than I do, where is she?" He said as he looked into the dark void around him. "One mile north, in the old torture chambers for rapists, of course there aren't any there now but still it is a horrid place." She said Lance walked on the scent of sulfur around him. "I'm coming Angela, hold on." Lance whispered and walked into the Soul Forest.

The gang stood around the bathroom, Madarame had gone in with Yusuke but they hadn't found Lance or Angela. "What exactly is this all about?" Tanaka said as Yusuke shook his head, "I am afraid this is for reapers only, the only two that can hear this are the two blond ones, whatever their names are." Sassahara stood walked over to Yusuke, "If it involves one of our club mates we want to be involved. Lance and Angela are our best friends and we've been through a lot so if you have a message for them, then you have a message for us!" Sassahara said crossing his arms. Yusuke traced some numbers in the mirror and opened the gateway to the spirit realm. "Follow me if you want to know." He said and walked inside the gang behind him.

The spirit realm control center was abuzz with maps and computers filing data. Shinigami-sama sat in his chair looking at the map of Coshocton County. The madness was contained in the city proper none of the outlying areas had been hit yet. As he waited for the reaper's arrival he sensed a force near him. Turning in his chair he saw Yusuke with a group of people behind him. "I sent you for the two reapers not his friends, child." Shinigami said as he looked at them. "They demanded to know what was going on so I had to bring them here. Besides, there is no sight of the two reapers anywhere." Yusuke said, Sassahara looked around then spoke, "What is this place?" he asked. Shinigami-sama smiled under his mask. "This is the spirit realm, the place you go when you die, however you all are not supposed to be here." He said Kousaka looked at him, "Me and Saki-chan are reapers, why not tell us what's going on?" he said Shinigami Sama sighed, "You are still developing your powers so this case may not be right for you." He said. Sassahara looked at the god, "What is it then, this job I mean?" Shinigami sighed, "The case at hand involves the disappearance of four reapers in the city of Coshocton, Ohio. They were there to investigate a series of demonic occurrences but somehow we lost contact, it is your friend's job to bring them back." Sassahara stood up straight, "Then we want to go too. If Lance-san is going to be in danger we need to back him up." Shinigami-sama laughed "This is far too dangerous for mortals and inexperienced reapers to do. The answer is no." "They could help?" a voice said, it was Kid-kun. "Father, I remember there used to be a civilian reaper core in the old days, maybe they could use their weapons. They are still in storage so what can it hurt?" Shinigami-sama rubbed his chin under his mask. "I guess it is feasible that is if they are skilled with weapons. Do any of you know how to use weapons like guns or swords?" The gang nodded. "Then it is settled, find the location of Reapers Lance and Angela then equip them." Kid-kun smiled, "I already know. Our prisoner is in the dark realm with him, he's on a rescue mission." Shinigami-sama shook his head, "Hard headed as always, make sure he stays alive." He said and flipped the map screen on.

"The soul forest was a mile long, the sounds of ripping flesh and screams were pervasive. He had seen Kuchiki's tree and it acknowledged him but Lance just ripped a piece of flesh off where his balls used to be. "How much further do we have to go?" Lance said Ann smiled, "Only one more foot and then we're there." Ann said as they reached the crest of a hill. There was Angela, she was lying on the ground exhausted; demons were scratching her skin, and lapping her blood from the wounds. Lance raced down the hill. "Get off of her you mother fucking bastards!" He screamed, the demons looked up and hissed. "Fine, have it your way!" He said, as he roundhouse kicked a demon in the throat, the monster crumbling into ashes, soon they began to rush him. Lance punched furiously two demons that launched themselves at his chest. He madly fired spirit energy like a gunman with a semi automatic AK-47 burning the demons and listening to their screams. The demons knew they were outmatched and ran off. "Hey, you forgot something!" Lance said, they turned around and looked at the reaper. Lance reached into Angela's body and ripped his ex-fiancé's sprit out of his wife. "Come and get it!" Lance said as he tossed Ann to the demons. The woman screamed as Lance saw them tear into her, her limbs flying back and forth. Lance held Angela's spirit in his arms and placed it back into her body. "Lance?" Angela whispered as he clasped her body to his chest. "It's over, it's all over." He said and watched as the dark realm dissolved around them and turned into the control room. "Welcome back reapers." Shinigami-sama said Lance looked around; there was the gang, armed to the teeth with weapons. "Okay what did I miss?" he said Shinigami-sama turned on the screen and played the last broadcast from Reapers Kuzco and Melina. Lance watched with horror. "What exactly was that?" he asked, "They are two of the four reapers you and your crew are designated to find. They last reported September 5th 2009 at Seven PM eastern time. I'll be blunt; this town has a high level of demon activity so lord knows what is going on. I am opening the portal now, I want them back alive Reaper, nothing less, got it?" Shinigami-sama said, Lance nodded as the gateway opened and the sunlight poured in. "Well gang, let's put it in B for boogie!" Lance and the others walked through not knowing what was going to happen or who would survive.

Lance and the others looked at Main Street. The town was deserted, no people walked the streets, and cars stood in their parallel parking spots. It was like death had swept the town away. "What do you suppose happened here?" "Angela asked, Lance shrugged "No clue, but if I were a betting man, I would say the evil has been here and taken most of the residents. What evil, I can't honestly say; I mean we can be dealing with some sort of spirit or elder god. Either way, it dealt some serious damage." Lance said, and then he heard the siren. It was a loud wail like a tornado alarm, clouds covered the sky plunging it into blackness and a black liquid fell from them. Angela shouted, "Lance, behind you!" The black droplets had turned into a solid mass and were racing towards him; he heard a voice scream from the distance, "Get your asses over here! Quickly before it consumes you, go, go!" Lance and the gang raced towards an old man with a pot belly and salt and pepper hair, he was wearing an Army hat and sweatshirt. The man slammed the door and locked it then placed a two by four across it. "Welcome to Coshocton folks! The old town ain't what it used to be." The man said, "The name's Charlie, what's yawls?" he said Lance was about to speak when a young boy appeared from behind him, "His name is Lance Ryan, he is twenty three years old and is a former student of Kent State University." He said. Lance looked at the kid, "How did you know that?" Charlie laughed, "Ole Negi here knows a lot of shit." Lance smiled and patted the kid's head. Looking out the window lance could see people now, shuffling down the street, almost zombie like."Ya'll look like you could use a drink. This place has a fully stocked bar, let's say we wet our whistles?" As the gang followed Charlie into the back Lance looked at the people, softly he said to himself. "What have god wrought upon this place." He said and walked into the back.

Meanwhile the people were beginning to flood the Dark Cabaret, the first act, "The Forbidden Lovers" was about to begin Kuzco and Melina got dressed and prepared to go on stage, Melina held the dagger in her palm and Kuzco the vial of poison in his. The Master of Ceremonies came in, "Showtime you two." He said and the two followed, blindly obeying their new master's orders.

_To be continued. . . ._


	4. Chapter 4

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 52: A Betrayal and a Disappearance.

Lance sipped his rum and coke idly, it was good, a tad bit heavy on the rum but it was just what he needed. "What exactly is going on in this town?" Angela said as she took a swig of her Guinness. "Well," Charlie said, "From what I can figure people here have been going bahooties for a few months now. Let me tell ya something. About a month ago the missus and I were in our living room when one of these things jumped right through our picture window. I swear to god it looked like my golfing buddy Dan but his face was fucked up all to hell. Anyways the sum bitch jumped on my wife and started strangling her, so I get Mr. Ruger out and fire three nine millimeter slugs into him." Lance looked up, "Did he die?" He said, Charlie laughed, "Fuck no; damn things barely even slowed him down, before ya know it my wife is dead and I'm calling 911. She was a mess. Then the damn library started acting up." He said. Angela looked at the demons shuffling down the street, "What library are you talking about?"She said. Negi spoke up, "Built in 1927 the old Carnegie Library was a fixture on Coshocton's Chestnut Street for forty years. It was closed down in 1967 and a new one was built a few blocks down." He said Lance looked at Negi, "What does Charlie mean by it acting up?" he said Negi continued "About three months ago there were ads that popped up all over the place about some new show that was coming to town and was being held in the old library. Just recently people, or should I say the ones that haven't gone mad, have noticed flashing lights and all sorts of noise coming from it. The problem is the thing has been condemned since 1994!" Lance looked at a poster behind the bar advertising the Dark Cabaret. "That has to be where the reapers are, no doubt." Lance said finishing his rum and coke. "We'll wait till the zombie's stop huddling around en mass on the main thoroughfare then we'll check this place out for clues. I am pretty damn sure the reapers have to be in some sort of peril, plus the negative energy in this town is high." Just then an old Wurlitzer Jukebox came on, Patsy Cline's "Crazy" came on. "Shit, not again, get your weapon Negi because here they come!" Negi pulled out a large staff, Lance turned to his club mates, "This doesn't look good." He said, Madarame reached behind his back and pulled out his twin Katanas from his back. "What, what's coming?" Ohno said just as hand smashed through the wooden barricaded window and grabbed her hair, she shrieked. The hand tried to pull her through the hole. Lance fired a shot at the hand crumbling it to dust. One of the demons burst through the window on the other side, more followed. Charlie fired his semi-automatic pistol at them; they hissed and began to drip black blood on the floor. Madarame leapt in to the air doing a back flip he landed in the middle of the group "Let's dance you ugly motherfuckers!" He said and rammed one sword into a demons chest. A demon lurched toward him; he sliced its head off, black arterial spray shot out of the neck like a geyser. Bacchi-Gu pulled out a large grenade launcher and aimed it at the outside. "Suck on this you bastards!" He shouted and launched it and watched as a large blue ball of flame obliterated the hoard. Sassahara and Kousaka were on top of the bar, the club leader using a nine millimeter spirit pistol and the blond one using his hands to fire energy at the demons blasting them to kingdom come. Oguie and Kasukabe were getting into a melee with the demons punching right through their bodies with brass spirit knuckles. Ohno was using an energy thrower to burn the demons at the window into dust. The battle raged on for what seemed like hours until finally there were no more demons left in the bar. Black blood and ash covered the old lacquered hardwood floor; it looked like a demon slaughterhouse. "God damn it now we have to reinforce the window again! Negi Could you get that plywood and the nail gun from the back?" Charlie said, Lance shook his head, "I have a better idea!" he said and placed his index fingers together and began chanting, "What kind of language is he speaking?" Charlie said. Just then a blue light began to emit from the walls, strange runes appeared as shadows on the wall, in moments the light faded. "There is now a spirit barrier on this place nobody should be able to enter unless they emit a positive energy frequency." Lance said Charlie looked at him, "What the hell are you people?" he said "It's a long story." Lance said Charlie poured himself some Crown Royal, "I got time." He said.

Kikyo watched the show from the balcony of what was once the fiction section of the Library. Kuzco had the vial of poison to his lips, "Here's to my love." He said. It was a show she had seen many times before. The two reapers were reenacting the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. Ryuk got off on tragedy and always opened the show with something cathartic before moving on to the meat and potatoes of the show. The reaper known as Ippo Makuouchi was next, Ryuk had labeled him the god of strength because of his physique and included him in this show for those who couldn't go down into the chambers and experience their own desires. The chambers cost a lot of money, something the people in this town didn't have a lot of. The people who couldn't pay to get Jasmine or anyone else they kidnapped to perform for them had to settle for a man in sea foam green bikini briefs dancing to ABBA's "Gimme Gimme Gimme (A man after midnight.)" This drew a lot of women and the towns closeted gay men who got off on this sort of thing. "Silly mortals," she said as Melina thrust a dagger into her chest, "they think they are getting fake death, they don't know the truth." Naraku looked at the walking flower pot and smirked, "I think it was Shakespeare who said 'What fools these mortals be.' Kanna's favorite part is coming up next." He said and handed over several one dollar bills to Kanna, "Go have fun dear." He said as she walked down to the front. Kuzco and Melina were taken off stage to the lab where they would be rebuilt for another performance. "Ryuk says we need a new act. Something with sex appeal, other than what we have." Naraku said as the Master of Ceremonies stood there in his tuxedo and mirror covered face mask preparing to introduce Ippo. Kikyo closed her eyes and focused in on the bar, she saw a woman with black hair. She could sense reaper blood in her. "Send the guards down to the steakhouse where the man and the little boy are hiding, Get the reaper's wife."

"So let me get this straight, you guys are from Japan and four of you possess some kind of magical power? Not only that, but this town is being overrun by some kind of dark force? I think you're trying to pull my leg buddy." Charlie said, Lance smiled, "I know it sounds strange but right now I think we need to go out and check out the lay of the land. The zombies have gone, so we need to go and figure where this library is and how to get in." he said. Lance walked to the door, "Angela, Madarame, Sassahara, you three come with me. The rest of you stay here and watch the bar. If we don't come back, get to a mirror and call Shinigami-sama got it?"" he said as the four walked to the exit. "You can count on us." Negi said and with that they exited the bar.

The droplets of black had now been minimized; they looked like pencil dots on the ground below, Lance and Angela could see them because of the dark energy that made them luminescent on the blacktop. The light from Thomas' Steakhouse was now fading from view. "Listen guys, I don't want to freak anybody out but if for some reason you should ingest one of these droplets then tell me. I can sense some serious negativity coming from them. Madarame looked up black droplet fell on his glasses and then landed on his cheek. He felt warm all over, his vision filled with gruesome sights. He started to snicker, his eyes now slits in his large frame glasses. "Oy, you okay Madarame?" Sassahara said, Lance turned around and looked, but thought nothing of it. He then felt the dagger enter his chest. Angela screamed, "Madarame what are you doing!" The otaku had his arms wrapped around Lance, "I wanted to know what your blood taste like." He said with a hiss and pulled the dagger out letting a drop hit his tongue, and licked Lance's ear. "Why?" Lance said before collapsing to the ground, Sassahara pounced on his club mate and held him down. Angela raced toward her husband; she barely noticed the black form behind her. "Angela watch out!" Lance said weakly, she turned around; the shape thrust out its hand and wrapped it around her neck. Lance watched helplessly as his vision faded to black, "Lance!" Angela croaked before she passed out. Sassahara was in helpless position holding down his friend while another was being dragged away to an unknown destination. Slinging both Madarame and Lance over his back, Sassahara walked slowly to the bar, for help.

Angela's vision was blurry but she could hear voices in the background. "Subject is stable; begin transfusion sequence 0121-A Codename Ingénue" she said as she saw the needle enter her arm. Fading to black she felt he past slip away and a new life begin.


	5. Chapter 5

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 53: First Contact

_Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right. They just seem a little weird- Cheap Trick, "Surrender."_

Shinigami-sama looked through his mask. The screens for both Lance and Angela were blank; he turned to Kid-kun. "Bring up the reapers in Coshocton. I need to know their progress." He said. Kid-kun punched numbers on the computer's central key pad. "I'm getting no signal from either." He said. Shinigami-sama slammed his fist on the desk. "Damn it. Give me Reaper Kouga and Reaper Inuyasha's status." The masked god said as Kid-kun typed some more numbers on a key pad. "Estimated time of arrival in the spirit realm is about 15 seconds." The kid said as he watched two white slivers of light begin to form in the middle of the room. The wolf sprit and, half dog spirit passed through, "The situations have been taken care of Shinigami-sama," Kouga said, "I can tell by your scent that something is troubling you. Is it something serious?" Shinigami-sama looked at the reaper's "I am sending you to Coshocton Immediately, the situation there have been compromised. I will check in with you periodically. Right now our main goal is to save six reaper's lives; I can't bear to lose you two." Inuyasha looked at Shinigami-sama, "You can count on us." He said and looked at the gateway forming; he could tell something was definitely wrong there. The question was how bad was it?

'The door to Thomas' Steak House swung open, Sassahara with all his strength had managed to carry the manically laughing Madarame and the profusely bleeding Lance back to the hideout. "Tanaka, give me a hand with Madarame." Tanaka stood up and grabbed Madarame, "Where do I put him?" Sassahara lay Lance down on the floor, "Stick him in the kitchen for now, Oguie get me some towels so I can put pressure on this." Sassahara said as he looked at the near lifeless otaku. Oguie grabbed two bar towels and handed them to her husband, Madarame giggled like a madman. "Christ on a cross what happened out there?" Charlie said, "I think some of that black stuff got into Madarame, he stabbed Lance-san, then these black things took Angela." Sassahara said; the towels were soaked with blood. Looking at the mirror, Negi noticed that the space around it was getting lighter in color. He was no expert on the spirit realm but he knew that within seconds, somebody would be coming through it. Just then something did, a bright light filled the room and Reapers Kouga and Inuyasha stepped out. "Thank Shinigami you're here!" Kousaka said, Kouga sniffed the air and noticed the scent of blood, he looked and saw Lance. "Stand aside, I have something for this." He said and reached into a pouch on the side of his belt. Inside was a little tin of green paste, he put some on his palm and pressed it on Lance's wound. "What good is Wasabi going to do for a stab wound?" Sassahara said as he watched the blood stop and Lance's body shimmer with a green light. "This is healing paste, a must for any reaper in the field. In these kind of situations where darkness is prevalent, a reapers healing power is useless, that's why we carry this." Kouga said, Inuyasha heard Madarame laughing and banging on pots in the kitchen, "I take it one of your friends was overcome by madness?" The Han-yo said he walked towards the noise. He looked inside, the noise had stopped there was no one in there. Then Madarame jumped out in front of him, "Boo!" He said and raised a twelve inch chef's knife in the air; Inuyasha kicked it out of his hand. Placing his hand on the otaku's chest he began to chant, black goo started to fall out of every pore on Madarame, dissolving and leaving black stains on the tile floor. Madarame looked up, "What, what happened?" He asked "You were overcome by darkness, you're okay now but I think your friend might be less forgiving." Inuyasha said as he and Madarame walked out. Lance turned and looked, "Well, my best friend, how are buddy?" Lance said with a smirk. "Look, Madarame next time you leave here don't look up. Even though you wear glasses the dark radiation in this substance can go through glass." Kouga said. He then turned to Lance, "Where do you think they took Angela?" Lance looked at him, "To that library I suppose but I don't think we can gain entry. It sounds like a club for rich sick weirdos." Inuyasha smiled then snapped his fingers; his red kimono had been turned into a tuxedo and tails. Lance sat there, his mouth agape. Kouga snapped his fingers and transformed himself into a long haired Victorian gentleman, "How did you do that?" Lance said Kouga smiled, "It is easy, these clothes hide our spirit signature so we can investigate the situation. They'll never know we're reapers, you can do it too. Each reaper has a specific spirit cloak." Lance smiled and snapped his fingers, He was dressed in a white polyester shirt and suit coat, and white polyester pants. He looked like a John Travolta cosplayer. "Jesus Christ, out of all the outfits I had to get the 'Saturday Night Fever' one!" Lance growled, Ohno laughed, "Come on Lance-san at least you'll be 'Staying Alive'" she said, Lance flipped her Ohio state bird. Kouga turned to the group of people, "I am going to give you some, beads, if you wear them around your neck you will be protected from the darkness outside. Only use them to go outside, got it?" he said, and waved his hand on the bar and several beaded necklaces appeared. They were purple with little shells that looked like fangs. Kouga and the other two reapers walked to the door. "If we don't return, you know what to do." Lance said and stepped outside hoping to find his wife safe and sound.

Charlie poured himself another draft beer, and then sat down on the bar stool, the juke box was no longer acting funny so he put a few quarters in and played Eric Clapton's Unplugged version of "Layla" It was then the CD began to skip, static began to drown out Slowhand and a voice could be heard, the sound of a middle aged woman. "Hello is anybody there? This is Jody West; I and a few other survivors are here in Miller's Pharmacy looking for others. If you can please come and find us, do. We need to know that there is some kind of life out there other than those things, over and out." The voice said. Kasukabe looked at the others, "Well what are you waiting for; the woman said she's looking for survivors! We can't let this go unnoticed." She shouted, Charlie grabbed his gun, "Okay Blondie, whatever you say but if we get ourselves killed out there, then you're to blame. " The gang took a necklace from the bar and then grabbed their weapons, walking out as Lance and the two other reapers walked into the library.

The inside of the library was reminiscent of a gothic cathedral, stained glass images of people making love, or passionately embracing were the main thing, some of it was Yaoi type material, the kind of stuff Tilden in the old days would buy him because he thought he was gay. Lance was not into that kind of genre of anime or Manga, give him Inuyasha or Soul Eater any day and he'd be just fine. Taking a seat at a table in front, he looked up; there he saw Naraku, Kanna, and Kikyo sitting in the balcony. Lance leaned over to Inuyasha and whispered in his pointy ear. "I think the spider, his hatchling and the walking flower pot are here?" Inuyasha looked at Lance, "They won't notice us, and these things cloak our identities to other spirits." He said as the lights dimmed, a man in a white top hat with suit and matching pants appeared on stage. The upper portion of his face was covered with a mask that itself was covered with hundreds of tiny mirrors, he began to speak. "Wilkomen, Bienvenue and welcome all to the Dark Cabaret, I am your master of ceremonies for this evening and I hope your desires, your darkest thoughts will be released tonight. We begin, as always with Conan, the worlds smartest boy!" he said the audience clapped as a young boy in a blue suit and red bow tie appeared next to the MC. "Tell me Conan, if I take nine, multiply it by nine, divide it by nine add nine to it, then subtract it by nine what do I get?" Conan smiled, "Nine of course!" the audience clapped, the Master of Ceremonies spoke again, "An astronaut lands on another planet and finds life; there are thirteen boys and twelve girls how many aliens are there?" Conan smiled, "One, of course you would be an alien too if you landed on a distant planet!" The audience roared with cheers. "One more question Conan, who was the man who shot Ronald Regan?" Conan laughed and then spoke, "John Hinckley, gosh you are too easy." The audience clapped and Conan was ushered away. "Next our fine friends we have the forbidden lovers. Take it away you two crazy kids!" Lance watched as two young people reenacted the death scene from Romeo and Juliet. Lance could get a vibe from them that they could be the two reapers that had went missing. The acting was quite realistic to him; he didn't know they were actually killing themselves. Their performance ended and Lance looked over at Kouga and Inuyasha, they looked horrified. Lance couldn't understand why, all this was to him was some sort of joke. It wasn't until he saw the bodies being carried off the stage he understood their horror. The next act disgusted Lance, all it was, was some guy in a sea foam green pair of bikini briefs dancing to an ABBS song. The girls went crazy as he posed and flaunted in front of the audience, Lance felt like he wanted to throw up. After the little dance was over the Master of Ceremonies came out and smiled, "Hope you guys and gals didn't get to excited, now we have a new act here at the Dark Cabaret that I'm sure will drive you wild. May I present to you The Ingénue!" The audience clapped as a jazz band began playing a seductive tune. There in a white sparkling dress was Angela. She began to sing, "Sooner or Later you're gonna be mine. Sooner or Later you're gonna be fine." Lance noticed the tune; it was a Madonna song from the movie "Dick Tracy" Lance watched in horror, "Angela? No god no, this can't be happening!" he said, She leaned over the stage and wrapped her feather boa around Lance's neck and pulled him close as the song drew to a close, she smelled of Chanel Number Five something she didn't wear. She then took her high heeled foot and pushed him off; he fell over in his chair. The audience cheered, the MC took the stage. "Well that's all folks, but one final announcement. If Lance Ryan could please come follow me to the offices alone that would be great, see ya tomorrow night folks!" Lance could feel two heavy arms pick him up and pull him up. "Kouga, Inuyasha, wait for me!" He said as he was drug off toward the MC's office.

The old head librarian's office was now the center of operations for the Master of Ceremonies. Lance was tossed inside and felt his knees smack the marble floor. "Well, well, well, it looks like we got ourselves a reaper, and from the looks of it a powerful one too. Did you think we wouldn't notice you?" Lance growled, and stood up. "Who are you and what did you do to my wife?" he said, the man smiled, "Perhaps this will change your mind." He said and the man lifted up his mask, it was Lance's late younger brother Buddy, "No It can't be, No, no. He was an innocent; innocents don't go to the dark realm!" Lance shouted and collapsed to the floor sobbing. "You can join us or die reaper, your choice." Buddy said, it was then Lance noticed the threads coming off of Buddy's body. "You're not my brother!" He shouted, but it was too late someone had placed a chloroform soaked rag on his mouth and he passed out.

Meanwhile in another part of town, a group of people were walking towards Miller Pharmacy. As Charlie reached the door heard jingle bells tinkling, "Hello, is anyone there?" He said. A woman appeared from behind the counter a double barreled shotgun aimed at the group. "Are you one of those things? "She shouted, Madarame shook his head, "Lady we're the good guys, we heard you on our jukebox down at Thomas'" She looked down, "It worked Lori, it worked!" the woman said as a woman with buzz cut and Nike t-shirt stood up, "I knew it would, sit down let's talk."

_To be continued. . . _


	6. Chapter 6

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 54: Inuyasha's Heart, Kouga's Army

_Authors Note:_

_My Thanks goes out to my constant fan Lancetheflamesniper and all the fans around the world that have been reading this story. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint._

_As a Legal side note, I would like to say the characters in this story belong either to me or their respective creators. This story is in no way meant to depict anyone living or dead. _

_Superotaku_

It had been twenty minutes since Lance had been carried off; Kouga and Inuyasha were becoming both frustrated and worried. "Maybe they captured him?" Inuyasha said, Kouga smirked, "Not likely. A reaper of his caliber would have been out in less time than this. He'll be back." Inuyasha looked at his outfit, "I look silly, and this place is giving me the creeps, so let's just get the fuck out of dodge and call it a loss." He said and sniffed the air, the smell of demon wine and cheap spirit cigarettes filled the room but there was a smell that haunted Inuyasha, and it was getting stronger. "Well, Well, Well, isn't it wolf boy and Benedict Doggie Man. How are you Inu-kun?" A voice from the past said, Inuyasha could tell who it was. "Hello Kikyo." He said, Kouga spun around and noticed the guards flanking her, "This could be ugly Inuyasha. I can sense some serious dark energy coming from those guards." He said, "Relax Kouga, if you two come with me then you won't be hurt. However if you resist you'll die, plain and simple!" she said, Kouga snapped his fingers and changed into his battle outfit. "You want to fight bitch then let's fight, come on Inuyasha lets smash this walking flower pot." Inuyasha turned away and grabbed her hand. "Looks like someone's being smart," Kikyo, "guards, kill the wolf, bring me his head. I think it will look nice on my wall." She said as the guards rushed Kouga. Jumping into mid air he kicked both of the guards in the chest, slamming them down on the ground, Kikyo laughed and snapped her fingers as five more guards came rushing after Kouga. The wolf spirit raced down the row of tables knocking them over as barriers until finally he reached the door, a big lava demon stared at him. "Where do ya think you're going wolfy?" He said as he began to ooze molten rock out of his pumice encased body. Kouga just laughed, he knew all rock demons were dumber than shit. He rammed his sword into the demons chest and dashed out the door, a flood of lava spewed forth igniting the tables and guards. Kikyo stuck out her palm and turned the lava into solid rock, then turned to Inuyasha. "Don't worry, if my guards can't get him, the darkness will. Let's walk shall we?" Inuyasha nodded and followed Kikyo towards an elevator. Stepping inside, he said a silent prayer for Kouga.

He could hear them talking, Naraku and some other voice he didn't recognize. "He could be our latest act! Think about it, he and his wife could duet. It would be spectacular." Naraku said as Lance's vision began to come into focus. "No, I see no need for more reaper tests. We've proven that black blood does in fact terminate cells in the reaper's memory but with a simple spell they can return. If this technology fell into the right hands it could, and I am stressing could, be powerful. However the facts of the matter still stand Naraku, even the least powerful of reapers could destroy the black blood's affects, this until. Stick with the plan, Shinigami first, world second. "The voice said Lance looked, Naraku turned around. "Well, good evening sleepyhead. We have been awaiting your return to consciousness." Naraku said, Lance looked around the spacious office; there were busts of Kuchiki, his ex fiancée Ann and something referred to as the "great one." Lance could make out the name "Cthulhu" but other than that he couldn't tell if the great one was human or a _Pirates of the Caribbean_ "Davy Jones" knockoff. "I see you got the greatest weirdos in human history bust collection Naraku? How much did the Kuchiki one cost you?" Lance said Naraku growled. "They will all return once Ryuk's plan comes to fruition." Lance looked and saw the black lanky form of the second oldest demon in human history. His ears were pierced and a shock of black hair stood up out of his head contrasting his grey face. His face had big bulging eyes, two holes for a nose and jagged teeth in a lipless mouth. "Hello reaper, it is a pleasure meeting you in your sane form. We'll take you to the lab in a moment but for now I just want to bask a bit." Ryuk said Lance smirked, "Bask at what my scent? That's just Axe body spray I brought from home. You know you have to be the stupidest son of a bitch I ever met." Ryuk laughed, "You'll make a fine killer for us. The black blood mixed with your spirit powers will make you an effective killer." Lance laughed, "I, Kill for you, get real asshole. I'll believe that when my shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet. How did you get into this realm anyway?" he asked. Ryuk opened a door next to lance, There sitting in the room, chained to a wall was his dead younger brother. "Lance, Lance I'm sorry I didn't mean to." Buddy said as Lance looked at the Ouija board that was moving back and forth. "I thought it would be a fun toy to have in the afterlife, I didn't know this would happen." Lance smiled and remembered what had happened

_Steubenville Ohio, 1998_

"Ma? Ma where are you?" Tilden said as he walked up the fuzzy multihued carpet steps. "In Buddy's room getting some things ready for the yard sale, why?" Joyce said as she began taking old comic books and board games out of the closet. It had been three days since the funeral and dad was still drinking Jim Beam and Joyce was finding solace in her new found love of religion. "I was wondering if I could have Buddy's Ouija board, I want to scare the crap out of Jennifer tonight." Tilden said, "Rent a horror movie, I recommend _A Nightmare on Elm Street_." Lance said a stack of Manga under his arm. "Oh and by the way Tilden, I don't care if you have a credit card and know my e-mail address. Quit having send me Yaoi shit. I got three more volumes of Kizuna this week and I am getting sick of it. You know I hate Yaoi." Lance said, and dropped the books in front of Tilden's feet. "Faggy books for the anime fag. It 's just natural." Tilden said, "Mom!" Lance said, "Tilden, you're brother is not gay. Funny, I saw that damn thing two minutes ago now where was that thing?" Joyce said none of them noticed the laughter coming out of the closet as Buddy clutched the Ouija board and slid into the sprit realm.

"You're using my brother as a pawn in this, whatever _this _is?" Lance said, Naraku laughed, "This is only a test sample, we plan to use this on the sprit realm next. You see Lance, Coshocton was chosen because of its size, it is a perfect sample population to test how Ryuk here is going to take over the Pure realm. Mortals are corruptible; the few that come here have been in the basement since we began. The rest were overcome by madness and began killing each other, no one in the rest of the world knows about this. Not even the State of Ohio knows what's going on. Now let's begin your transformation shall we?" Lance smirked, "You forgot one thing." He said, Naraku looked at him, "What's that?" he said. "You didn't tie me down!" Lance said and jumped off of the couch and roundhouse kicked Naraku in the head sending him down for the count. Ryuk raced towards him, Lance ran towards Buddy and blasted the rusty chains with his sprit energy. "Go, find the nearest mirror and contact Shinigami-sama and tell him I am going to get the reapers and get the hell out of here." Lance shouted as Buddy raced off and Lance faced Ryuk. "Be gone ye accursed into the lake of fire!" Lance shouted and a stream of flames filled the room setting Ryuk and Naraku ablaze. Lance rushed out hoping the others were safe. Naraku looked at Ryuk and hissed, "Destroy every last thing here!" he said.

Kouga had been running for what seemed like hours, he could smell the demons getting closer, but he smelled something else too, something like humans, and fear. He turned in the direction of the scent and arrived at a gold lettered building, "Miller's Pharmacy." It read he raced inside and erected a spirit barrier; he didn't hear the shotgun click. A woman in a buzz cut and Nike t-shirt stared at him from behind the barrel of the gun. "Hey, you one of them?" Lori said. Kouga put his hands up. "No. My name is Kouga and I am the chief demon reaper of the northern realms. Now please put down that damn gun!" Kouga said as Lori lowered her shot gun. "Hey Jody, we got ourselves one of them reaper thingies again." Lori said, Jody poked her head out, "We've got bigger problems than that, it looks like there is a giant mass over the Library and its headed our way." Kouga looked around the corner and saw the Genshiken gang along with an old man and young boy. "Kouga!" The gang shouted, "Look's like Naraku is sending an army our way. Everybody get prepared, this is gonna get messy." Kouga said, Charlie cocked his gun, "Let's get those ugly some beaches!" he said and walked to the front of the store anticipating their arrival.

The basement of the Library was a den of depravity, anything that was possible was possible. Around him Inuyasha could see disgusting acts. An octopus spirit was making love to a woman, a man was up to his waist in a pool being nibbled on by young kitsune's, one of the missing reapers was seductively dancing to for a small frog like demon that looked like Jakken. "People pay money for this shit?" Inuyasha said, Kikyo smiled, "This area is like a Club Med for the richest of the dark realm. When we first opened we had mortals but they all went mad after a few days, we still keep them around as food for the octopus demon." Inuyasha looked at Kikyo, "What happened?" he asked, Kikyo looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean?" Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders "I mean what happened to us. You used to be on the side of good, and light. Now you're doing this." Kikyo looked at him, "You betrayed me. You met that Kagome, my best friend, and slept with her. Not only that but you nearly killed me when a wave of darkness took over the pure realm in the before time. I did what I did, because I hated you. I wanted to watch you suffer like I suffered." Inuyasha looked at her, "I know what I did was wrong, but the truth is that as much as I love Kagome, I still have feelings for you. Sometimes I dream of us having a family and raising pups together, sure they wouldn't be whole dog sprit but who cares. I still want that life, I want you Kikyo and I want our life back. I love you." He said. Kikyo looked at Inuyasha as tears filler her eyes, "Oh Inu-kun!" she said and then she collapsed to the floor, motionless. "Kikyo? Kikyo!" Inuyasha shouted he looked at her, there was a string tied to her back that had just been cut. "Damn you Naraku!" Naraku looked through the pain of his burning flesh, in his office and smiled.

Lance was racing down the basement hallway flinging open doors, checking for reapers. The fire had now spread and he needed to find the reapers, particularly Angela, quickly. It was at the next door he found all of them in a little room asleep. The only one not giving off a spirit aura was the kid with the glasses, Lance flipped on the lights. "Wake up everybody the place is on fire and right now I don't want to die!" The reapers eyes flew open and then they stood up only to collapse lifeless on the ground. It was Naraku's power that was giving them life, and Lance knew it. "Lance-san!" Inuyasha shouted, the lifeless Kikyo over his shoulder. "About fucking time pal, help me get these people out of here; there's one hell of a blaze going on. Inuyasha flung Kuzco and Melina over his shoulder while Lance threw Ippo, Jimmy and Angela over his. "Wait a minute what about Jasmine?" Inuyasha said, "I'll get her. Where is she?" Lance asked. Inuyasha pointed down the hallway, Lance ran as fast as he could with three bodies on his back, and burst through the door where Jakken was stuffing spirit realm currency down Jasmine's panties. "Sorry froggy but we gotta cut the lap dance short!" Lance said and grabbed Jasmine; she automatically went limp as he got her out of the chamber. Jakken rushed out, "Hey! Lord Sesshomaru gave me a lot of money for this; it was from Rin's college fund!" Lance turned around, "Looks like Lord Fluffy is going to have to apply for financial aid!" Lance said and opened a fissure in the realm that lead him directly to Miller's. Inuyasha had laid his bodies on the floor Lance lay his next to a stack of clearance "Get well soon cards." He turned to Kouga. "I need you to perform a cleansing ritual on all these bodies now!" Lance said. Kouga looked out the window. "We've got bigger problems." He said calmly, Lance looked out the window and saw the mass forming outside. "Aw hell, here we go again!"

_To Be Continued. . . ._


	7. Chapter 7

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 55: The Battle for Coshocton

Tilden had been driving for the past two hours from Steubenville taking interstate seventy-seven North towards Coshocton County heading towards Columbus. "Personally, Kagura sweetie," Tilden said, "We should have got off at the interstate 70 exit. What's the point of driving towards some piece of crap town?" He said turning down Lady GaGa's "Paparazzi" that was blaring from the radio. Kagura had a recently developed a taste for American music, particularly Lady GaGa and Taylor Swift. "I just wanted to see the beauty of small town life and America itself. How far until we reach Coshocton, I need to use the bathroom?" Tilden looked at his GPS and saw they had .1 miles until they reached the Wal-Mart on Airport Road, then disaster struck. The car stopped, the engine died a quiet death no smoke and no hissing. The radio stopped playing, everything just shut down. "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" Tilden said as he looked at the car's gas gauge it was still on three quarters of a tank. Kagura looked at him, "What happened? Is the battery dead?" she asked, Tilden looked at the GPS and saw that in fact they were in Coshocton. "I'm going to take a look under the hood, not like much will be there but something's a matter here." Tilden hopped out as did Kagura, she immediately felt a chill, a sign that a dark presence was around. "Tilden? Deep six the hood, I think there's something terribly wrong here." Tilden looked at her, "Like what, demons? If it is demons then we should call Lance." Kagura looked at him, "No, Something much worse, it's like I'm near the dark realm." She said. Tilden looked at her, "I'm texting Lance right now." As Tilden began to text in the mortal realm Buddy's Ouija board began to send messages to the mid realm.

"Here they come!" Kasukabe shouted, she said got into a stance with Oguie their fists ready for action. A demon burst through the window next to the soda fountain, it had long hair, and used to be a woman. Madarame unsheathed his swords. "Hey, she-bitch," he shouted, "Let's dance!" He said as Kasukabe rammed her fist into a demon's chest and ripped out its heart. Two more demons raced into the store, Madarame waited until the demons surrounded him, then he spun his sword and slashed their heads off, black blood shooting like Old Faithfull. Sassahara and Kousaka were on top of the counter firing bullets into the demons heads, watching them burst like balloons. Tanaka and Ohno had reached into their kits and were barbequing demons with spirit energy. Oguie was Karate chopping the demons helping Kasukabe; the only people that weren't fighting were Lance, Inuyasha and Kouga. They had bigger matters to attend to.

"The message said: there is dark energy here, get here now." Kid-Kun said as he read Tilden's text to Lance, Shinigami-sama looked at his son, "Send them a message. Tell him that Kagura needs to claw the air in order to gain access to where the battle is. It looks as if we got the upper hand, that is if Reaper Lance decides to join the fight." He said. Kid-Kun sent the message out. Tilden's texting ringtone came on and he looked at the screen. "I guess you need to use your nails to get in there, something about a battle too, I can never understand that guy." Tilden said as he watched Kagura rake the air with her nails and the battle came into view. "Aw piss, not another one," Tilden said, "didn't we have this problem months ago?" Kagura stepped through and looked at Lance leaning over Angela as Kouga and Inuyasha chanted over some reapers. "Bro, what the hell is going on here?" Tilden shouted as Madarame eviscerated a demon, its black slimy entrails steaming on the floor. "Don't just stand there baka, help out here!" Madarame said as he sliced a demon in half. Tilden picked up a metal pole that had fallen off the bar and began to swing it around. Kagura raced over to Lance, "Lance-san let me take care of this." She said as Lance brushed away a tear, "Hang on Babe, I'll get him for you!" Lance picked up a sword from Madarame's kit and walked outside, "Hey, where in the fuck do you think you're going?" Tilden shouted, Lance looked at him, "I am going after the one responsible for all this, you and the others handle things here!" he said. "Fighting Naraku yourself, that's suicide Lance!" Kouga said, Lance turned to him, "I have to do it, I have to do it for the people of this town!" He said and walked off, just as Negi shot a beam of energy out of his staff and hit a demon square in the head.

Lance walked towards the court square; his sword at ready, the smell of smoke was in the air. "Naraku, come out, you tongue tied son of a bitch. Come here and fight me!" Lance shouted no response. "Naraku, what's a matter, too busy giving Ryuk a hand job to fight me. You half breed son of a bitch, you've hid behind these demons long enough, why don't you come and see me!" Naraku appeared before Lance; his robe was burnt and fused to his skin. His face was gruesome, black gums showed white teeth, where eyelids should have been there were just white orbs; the nose was just two holes. "So the reaper thinks he can take me down! Let's see what ya got, reaper man! Bring your brass balls and I'll show you what it means to die slowly." Naraku said his voice a gravelly concoction of phlegm and burnt vocal cords. Lance unsheathed his sword as Naraku grabbed his and raced towards Lance. The swords met with a loud "klang" Lance smiled as he forced Naraku 's hand and his sword was at his side, Lance dodged Naraku's next attack, leaping on top of the gazebo and then shooting a wave of spirit energy directly at the demon. "What's a matter baboon boy, can't take the heat?" He said as Naraku clutched his wound. "I will not fail this time." Naraku said as lance jumped off, Naraku slashed at Lace's shoulder, cutting the flesh. Lance screamed in pain as blood trickled out of the wound. Lance grabbed his sword and raced towards Naraku, slashing at his neck, but the demon was too quick for him. While the two men were fighting outside, the three spirits were purging the black blood out of the systems of the reapers as well as the young boy.

Ippo, Jasmine, Melina and Kuzco were purged, they were resting comfortably in a bathroom away from the fighting, The little kid was not infected too severely by the black blood and was the easiest to purge, right now his system was slowing returning to normal, for Angela Ryan, the process was slow. No matter how much they chanted, or prayed, her body would not release the black blood. Kagura closed her eyes and watched as Lance and Naraku fought, it was when Lance was cut that Angela began to respond. Her eyes flew open, "Lance, where's Lance!" she shouted as she began to rise from her position underneath a sign that said "Get well soon" Kagura looked at her, "He's down the street, but I suggest," Angela began to run, "Hey where do you think you're going?" Kagura shouted, "I am going to help my husband and there is nothing you can do to stop me." Angela shouted and raced toward the court square.

Lance kept on slashing and slicing at Naraku but he kept on dodging. Lance was beginning to tire, yet he knew if he tired he would die, and pass over, unlike some of the reapers who come to this realm he was still a mortal. It was then he heard high heels click over on the pavement. "Lance, Lance!" Angela shouted, Lance turned around, "Angela?" he said as he looked at her, Naraku raced towards him. "Lance look out!" she shouted, but Lance reacted too slowly, the sword had pierced his heart. He collapsed to the ground; Angela knelt down and cradled his body in her arms. "Angela, I, I didn't mean to get you into this. I'm sorry." He said in between coughs of blood. Angela placed a finger over his lips to hush him, "It's our job to protect people, no matter what I will always remember all you've done for me. I love you." She smiled; Lance looked at her, "No matter what happens remember me, always." He said and closed his eyes and crossed over. Angela began to scream, her eyes now flowing with tears. She placed her hand on the wound, and looked at Lance; she barely noticed the glowing light that was flowing out of her hands. Warmth filled her entire body as the glow got stronger; she tilted her head back as a breeze blew blowing back her long black hair. Lance's body began to float. Then slowly come back down to the ground. Angela looked at Lance's body, the wounds were gone. "Lance? Lance can you hear me?" Lance's eyes flew open, "It can't be?" Naraku said, "She's a, a healer!" Shinigami-sama said as he looked at his monitor, Lance stood up and grabbed his sword and advanced on Naraku. "Please, couldn't we just talk about this, I mean we are both spirit entities. " Naraku said Lance shook his head, "Oh, we're done talking, baboon boy!" Lance said and grabbed Naraku's head and spun him around. "Ya ever heard of a head on a stick?" Lance said as he rammed his sword into Naraku's spine and severed it, listening to him choke and gasp. "After all, that's what you are now aren't you, a head on a stick?" Lance said as he began to ram his sword repeatedly into Naraku, his black blood staining splattering everywhere. Lance finished him off with a chop to the head. Ryuk raced out and looked at him just as cracks began to form in the sky. His body was dissolving at a rapid rate, "No, No it can't be!" Ryuk said as his body quickly turned to ashes, Lance smiled, "Game over Ryuk you knew you shouldn't have messed with the pure realm." The cracks grew wider and wider as the dark energy dissipated. Coshocton looked different somehow. The buildings were damaged, bodies littered the streets and the only four survivors left were faced with a brave new world.

"So I must ask again, you are renouncing your life as an agent of evil, am I correct? " Shinigami-sama said as he stared at Kikyo. "That is correct Shinigami-sama; I do not wish to live the life I lead before." She said, Shinigami-sama looked at her, "Why?" she looked at him, "I got some sound advice from an old friend." She said, Shinigami-sama looked at her and clasped his hands together, "Then it is settled, your record will be expunged of any misdeeds and you are now a member of the pure realm. But I warn you Lady Kikyo, one slip up and you're back in the dark realm, got it?" He said, she nodded and went to the pond to wait for Inuyasha.

"So what are your plans now that you're the only ones left?" Lance said as he watched the gang gather their things, "I live in Baltic so I am okay; Jody here has got some family in Muskingum County. So we're safe, what about you Charlie?" Lori said, Charlie looked at them, "I'm high tailing my ass to California, it's been Sharon and I's dream to return there so I think I'll just move there. Ole Negi here doesn't have a family to return to so I don't know what he'll be doing." He said, Lance smiled, I think I've got an idea, Angela can we talk in private?" he said.

_Monday October 12, 2009._

"Good morning class, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I spent most of it grading your tests, which I might add were good to say the least." Lance said. "Now Just a reminder for those who want an upper level elective in foreign language can sign up now for my class on American Culture and Society. It will be going on winter 2009. I would also like to introduce you to the university's newest teaching assistant, could you come out please." He said, a young boy came out and spoke in perfect Japanese, "Good Morning my name is Negi Springfield." Lance looked at his adopted son and smiled.

"Are you sure you want to do this Yusuke?" Ohno said as her son stood next to the mirror, "Yes mother I am sure. My place is with my father and plus being a baby bites!" He said, Ohno hugged him and smiled. "You're welcome here any time." She said, and brushed away a tear. Kouga's Clawed hand reached out of the mirror and escorted his son into the spirit realm. "Well," Ohno said, "Looks like I need to have one of those yard sale things, if I'm ever going to get rid of this baby stuff."

"That was fantastic Inuyasha!" said Kikyo said as she lay on the bed that Inuyasha shared with Kagome. Inuyasha kissed her and nuzzled her neck, "You want to go again," He said, "Kagome doesn't come home until 2:30 in the morning." Kikyo sighed, "Inuyasha, there's something I need to tell you." Inuyasha looked at her, "What is it?" he asked. "Before you attacked me in the pure realm I learned I was pregnant with your child. When I went to the dark realm I had the baby. She lives somewhere in the mortal realm now, I think." Inuyasha looked at her, "What's our daughter's name?" he said, Kikyo whispered in Inuyasha's ear. "What!" he said

_To be continued. . . ._


	8. Chapter 8

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 56: Dr. Lance is in the building

"What?" Inuyasha said, as Kikyo whispered in his ear. "That is impossible; she doesn't even look like me. How can Kagura be our daughter?" he said, Kikyo shrugged as Inuyasha got out of the bed and put his clothes back on. "I've been meaning to tell you I just," Kikyo said Inuyasha stopped her, "Just what, that we haven't seen each other in millennia and here you are telling me that I now have a daughter that's what now two-thousand years old?" He said. Kikyo sighed, "Come back to bed, Inu-kun, I think I have something that will make you feel a lot better?" She said lowering the covers down, revealing her breasts. "I'm going for a walk and then I am coming back here, you better be gone by the time I return or else Kagome is going to go bat shit." He said, just as a familiar voice spoke. "Just as whom is going to go bat shit?" Kagome said as she tried to get around Inuyasha who was blocking the doorway to the bedroom. "Nothing Kagome, I am going for a walk I'll be back in twenty minutes." He said Kagome looked at him, "Who's in there?" she said, Inuyasha stammered, "N-nobody, god you stupid girl I just got back from an important mission, leave me alone!" "Sit boy!" she shouted, Inuyasha fell to the ground just as Kagome burst through the door. "Oh hell no, what are you doing here?" she said just as Kikyo was tying her hair back before putting on her yukata. "Giving your man some well deserved love, what's it look like bitch?" she said, Kagome leaped on top of her and began to slap Kikyo in the face. Inuyasha got up to watch the nude Kikyo and the clothed Kagome roll around on the floor, pulling each other's hair and hit each other. "God I hope Miroku doesn't walk in and see this, he'd be videotaping the whole thing." It was twenty minutes later when Inuyasha finally broke up the fight. "Look you two we need to talk this out, I am going to find that mortal that knows about psychology and shit." Kikyo looked at him, "Who, Dr. Phil?" she said, Inuyasha shook his head, "No this guy is younger, much younger."

The dream had always been the same since he left high school. The girl, whose name was Midori, was always telling him to come and see her. Bacchi-Gu always resisted but then the monsters would come out, horrific things with teeth and tentacles, always attacking him and eventually eating him just after it had had its way with him. Tonight was no different; he bolted up in a cold sweat. "Damn it, I need to stop watching that damn Hentai crap." He said as he felt the familiar post dream stinging in his neck. "I need to talk to somebody about this. Maybe that one guy can help me, the American with the blond hair." Bacchi-gu whispered as he lay back down and reminded himself to talk to Lance tomorrow.

"No, No and, No! It is simply out of the question, I will not have any further debate on the subject." Sassahara said as he took a sip of his bottled water. "Look the son of a bitch isn't even an otaku; he displays no signs of being an otaku. Why did we let him in this club? I think we should have a vote to kick him out of the club." Kasukabe said as all the girls clapped and cheered, the gang had been discussing the problem of Bacchi-gu. The problems with him were numerous, mostly using the clubs facilities as his own porn den. Just more than fifteen minutes ago they were going to watch the Kujibiki Unbalance OVA when they turned on the television to find a Hentai DVD still playing on the TV. This of course pissed off Kasukabe and Ohno because this was a chronic problem; Oguie was working on the dojinshi for the winter comi-fest so she could only hear noises because she was focusing on Lance's script. It was when she looked up and saw the girl with the boot up her anatomy that she reacted severely. Lance was thumbing through a manga when he felt Negi tug on his sleeve and ask what was on the TV thus putting him in an awkward position and causing Angela to go on the war path asking to hold a debate on the matter. "Look, I know this isn't the first time he's done this but Negi saw that horrid thing and now I think his fragile mind has been raped. I mean Bloody hell, Madarame, when will you decide to just leave him at home, and quit bringing that baka here." Angela said Lance attempted to make peace, "Look folks, I'd hate to end this wonderful conversation, but I would like to watch the new OVA and not even focus on this." He said Oguie looked at him, "The only reason you want him here Lance is because he is a sexual deviant and you think he would make a great case study." She said Lance looked at her. "If you look at it from a certain perspective all otaku are deviant in some way. I mean I bet if I gave her one Ohno would get turned on by a picture of Captain Picard from 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' because she likes older men, particularly men with no hair. Let's not even talk about the foray into cross dressing I did earlier this year. Madarame plays and eroge where you rape a girl and I am sure rest of us have some sort of attraction or abnormality that society would deem deviant." Kousaka looked at him, "He's right you know, we all have something deviant inside us, we just choose to manifest it in secret." Lance smiled, and turned to Madarame who was looking at a new dojinshi he had just bought. "Madarame, do you have something to contribute to this?" he said, Madarame just looked at the dojinshi and said, "I love tits" Lance shrugged "I guess he doesn't give a shit, hold on a second," And grabbed the dojinshi, "Madarame now is not the time to look at Sango's tits, we are discussing Bacchi-gu, your cousin and fellow club mate and if he should be in the club." He said, Madarame took the dojinshi back and said, "I don't really care, he's starting to get on my nerves anyway. Kick him out if you want to." Lance sighed and leaned in his chair, just as the man of the hour was about to walk in. "Lance-san, can I talk to you?" Bacchi-gu said his head poking from behind the door. "Yeah hold on just a second. I'll be right back okay." Lance said and walked out.

"You really have to stop watching porn in the club room; we're having a debate right now on why we should kick you out. Personally I'm on your side." Lance said Bacchi-gu sighed, "It's a bad habit I know. That's not the reason I want to talk to you though. It's about a dream." Lance sat down on the floor. "Ah something I know about, the human psyche. What kind of dream are you having?" Bacchi-gu described the dream, Lance thought about it for a moment. "Clearly if I took a psychodynamic approach to this I would say this is your ego trying to tell your Id to slow down and stop giving in to your desires. However, I do not, as do most psychologists subscribe to certain theories of Freud. My guess would to take more of a cognitive approach and say that this dream is more or less your thoughts of being violated in some way either physically or psychologically by someone close to you. Tell me did you experience anything traumatic at your school? Abuse, inappropriate encounters that sort of thing, it would help me greatly." Bacchi-gu then felt his head start to pound, he curled up into a ball and began to rock back and forth, "No, please don't," he said, "I won't tell anyone about it, I swear he'll never know!" Lance looked at him, "Who are you talking to?" he said as Bacchi-gu laid flat on the floor and whispered, the name, "Midori" Just before going into a seizure. Lance threw open the door to the club room, "Call 119, we got ourselves a problem out here." He shouted, Angela looked at him, "What, what's wrong?" she said, "Bacchi-gu is having a seizure and if we don't get him help fast, he'll choke on his tongue so somebody call an ambulance now!" he shouted just as Angela pulled out her cell phone Lance stepped out into the hallway and was greeted by a fire rat cloak wearing han-yo. "I need help." Inuyasha said. Lance turned to Bacchi-gu who was still flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water. "Kind of got my hands full Inuyasha, come back later." The Han-yo grabbed Lances hand and began to drag him towards the spirit realm. "Okay now seriously, what could be more important what is going on here? There is a medical emergency going on and I have no time for reaping." Lance said, Inuyasha looked at him, "It has nothing to do with reaping, it has to do with Kagome and Kikyo and how they are going to kill each other if you don't help me." Inuyasha said, as he and lance began to walk towards Inuyasha's house. "Therapy seems to be popular today, maybe I should just open my own practice." He thought and walked inside.

Lance walked into the house to find a nude Kikyo and Kagome in a rather rumpled outfit sitting on a couch. Inuyasha took a seat next to them and Lance sat in a chair in front of them. "Let me guess, I can tell by your state Kikyo that you were in the process of doing the humpty dance with Inuyasha here and Kagome caught you two and you both got into a Jerry Springer cat fight. Now what exactly do you want me to do here?" Lance said Inuyasha looked at him, "That's not all, I have a kid and her name is Kagura." Lance's eyes grew wide. "No shit, Kagura, my brother's girlfriend is your daughter? Okay this is too messed up for me, I am sure Shinigami-sama can direct you to a therapist here in the spirit realm." Kagome looked at him, "All I want to know is how long Inuyasha has been harboring these feelings for Kikyo." She said. Inuyasha looked at her, "I have had them for a few years after you came here. They've been touch and go but this recent mission has made me realize who I truly love." Kagome sighed, "So this whole relationship has been a sham from day one hasn't it?" Inuyasha nodded, Lance looked at the group, "Have we made headway yet because I need to get back to the mortal realm." He said just as a head poked through the door of the house. A brown haired, blue eyed fifteen year old boy looked in. "Is everything okay, Kagome, is we," he paused, and then looked at Lance and then Inuyasha and Kikyo, "I thought you said we were going to be alone!" Lance recognized him, it was Hojo. "What's future boy doing here?" Inuyasha shouted, Kagome blushed, "Okay, how long has this been going on?" Inuyasha said. "For three years, I guess I should have told you. We meet at the Starbucks in Kent for coffee every Friday at six in the mortal realm." Kagome said, Inuyasha looked at her, "I guess we're even then." He said Kagome looked at Inuyasha, "I was going to tell you tonight. I am moving out to live with Hojo down the street here. I just came to get my things." Kagome said holding back tears, "Well, I guess this solves everything. Kagome if this is who you love then I respect that, we can still be friends can't we?" Inuyasha said, Kagome smiled, "Sure, sure we can. After all who am I going to have to protect me from evil?" She said giving Inuyasha a hug. Lance looked at his watch, "Can I go now I have got a serious issue in the mortal realm." He said Inuyasha waved him away. Lance walked towards the nearest gateway and ended up at Urasawa Memorial Hospital.

"How's the perv?" Lance asked as He appeared from the spirit realm, Angela jumped in surprise. "Where the hell were you?" she asked, "I had to do an impromptu couples therapy session with Inuyasha, everything is okay now." Angela looked serious, "Not here it is, Bacchi-gu is okay but when asked about what happened all he could do was give the name Midori Chitose. Could you look it up and see who she is?" Lance nodded and sat down.

"Bacchi-gu, my loyal servant, the time has come, bring the ones you see fit to me and Yuuske and your reward will be handsome." Midori said her voice subliminally broadcasted into Bacchi-gu's head. "Yes my mistress." He said and closed his eyes.

_And I saw as the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard as it were the noise of thunder, one of the beasts saying come and see, and I saw and Behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.- Revelations 6:1-2_

_To Be continued. . ._


	9. Chapter 9

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 59: ELE (Extinction Level Event)

_Author's note: I would like to thank Lancetheflamesniper for giving me the inspiration for one of the kills in this story as well as the title. If you ever do become a zombie for real, You can have my brains. That's what friends are for. Happy Halloween Club Room Fans. - Superotaku_

"Just tell me where they are!" Lance said as he stood in the middle of the bar, his voice teeming with rage. "If I tell you where they are, what is to say you are not going to side with them?" Esmeralda said Lance looked at her, "Trust me when I get there, there'll be nothing left." He said, Esmeralda smirked and tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. "There is an old high school on the outskirts of town. that is where the coven lives. Are you satisfied?" she said Lance smirked, "Oh yes. Yes I am." He said and walked out of the bar.

"Ms Ryan, calm down this doesn't happen often but sometimes we do make mistakes." Dr Tenma said as Angela sat clothed in the same outfit she wore when she died. "If you're so bloody smart doc, tell me this, how did I wind up on a damn autopsy table? They were about to carve me like a Christmas goose." Angela said wildly, "We don't know but we have tried to reach your husband but no result. Is there any other friends or family you can call to let them know you're here?" The doctor said as Angela began to give the number for Oguie's cell phone.

Lance walked into his apartment; Negi was reading R. Crumb's "Book of Genesis" sitting in a high backed chair. "Hey Dad, the hospital called, something about mom and an autopsy, I didn't understand it." Lance walked past him, "That's nice son, where do I keep my weapons?" he said as he walked down the hall, Negi looked up from a naked drawing of Eve, "In your office near the file cabinets, why?" he asked, "No reason, go back to your book." Lance said and turned the combination on the lock and opened his weapons closet. The weapons were kept to protect everyone not just Angela and Negi, Inside was a pump action shot gun and two Katanas along with a leather holster to hold them all. Lance strapped the holster to his chest and loaded up. He looked at the Katanas and smiled, pulling one out of the case and looking at his reflection, "Groovy." He said and placed the two swords into the back of his holster." He slammed the door shut and locked it. Walking out he noticed what Negi was reading, "Why are you reading this? This book isn't for kids!" Lance said as he pulled the book from Negi's hands. "I Thought I would just read something more adult. I mean you read those dojinshi all the time and there is some adult stuff in there." Lance threw his hands up "It doesn't matter now. If anyone calls I am out for the evening and that's all you tell them, got it?" he said, Negi nodded, "Stay out of my dojinshi too okay?" Lance said and walked out the door. Negi picked up his graphic novel and continued reading when the phone rang. "Ryan residence, Negi speaking?" he said, it was Angela. "Negi love, put Lance on the phone." She said Negi spoke, "Dad told me to say he was going out, where he would go is beyond me but he just left. Mom, how long has dad owned a trench coat?" Angel looked at her fellow club mates, "Look if he comes back tell him I'm okay and I'm here in the club room, can you tell him that?" Negi nodded, "Yeah mom, I can do that. I don't know why he'd leave with all those weapons though?" He said Angela's eyes grew wide, "Weapons? Oh bloody hell this don't sound good. I'll call you later." She said and ended the call. "We've got to find Lance; he left the house with weapons going god knows where in a trench coat." Angela said, Madarame looked at her, "It must have something to do with your death and all, one thing I have learned is you never piss off Lance Ryan. If he left with some weapons and a trench coat something major is going to happen." A voice spoke from the doorway, "Yes something major is going to happen." Angela stood up, there stood and olive skinned woman with black hair and piercing emerald green eyes. "Who the hell are you?" Angela asked. "My name is Esmeralda, the pack leader for the Qatsi werewolf clan. I am afraid your husband has gone to visit the Nightray vampire coven. He is quite angry from what I gathered; I believe it is the British woman's death that has him upset." She said Angela looked at her, "He doesn't know I'm alive? Oh hell this is not good." Esmeralda smiled, "It is good for my pack." Angela spoke, "Why is that?" she asked Esmeralda spoke "Have you ever heard of an ELE? It is an extinction level event and I believe if your husband were to go to the coven's location he would win this war for us. It has been going on since the Europeans set foot in North America. We first fought them in the states until the 20th century when we moved it to their territory. World War Two was one of our major battles; Hitler was at one time the vampire lord of all nations. By the beginning of this century we followed the new leader to Japan and began raging war on the Nightray clan, the last surviving coven in existence, until now." Angela looked at her, "We have got to find him!" Esmeralda looked at the woman and then at the Otaku. "Okay, I have a van waiting outside, but I must warn you, this could get messy." She said Sassahara spoke "We'll do anything for Lance-san." Esmeralda smiled and watched as the Otaku and the reaper's wife follow her out the door.

Lance walked toward the door; the high school was well maintained for abandoned campus. Knocking on the door Lance stood there patiently whistling Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba" when the door opened, A vampire with black hair and no shirt was going to great him, "Hell," he couldn't finish his greeting because Lance sliced off his head, blood pumped out from the neck in spurts and he collapsed. "Rule number one dumbass, when someone knocks on the door always ask whose there. You may never know who it is." Lance smirked and walked in kicking the Vampire's head across the floor. "Yoo-hoo, anyone here, Avon calling?" Lance said as he strolled through the wide hallway, "Come one, one doorman? You got to do better than that. Come out and fight you bloodsucking freaks!" Lance heard a noise behind him, a vampire was racing toward him, and Lance pulled the shotgun from behind his back, aimed it over his shoulder and fired. The sound of the body falling to the floor, made him feel good. Lance walked past a door with light pouring from the cracks. He kicked opened the door and saw two female Vampires making out over a drained body, "Happy Halloween!" Lance shouted and fired two shots into both their heads. Lance kicked open another door and blew two more vampire's brains against the wall. Just then he heard a voice, "So reaper you've decided to come. I would say your visit is welcome but by the body count I will say this; my name is Midori Chitose and you have killed my fledglings, prepare to die." Lance smiled, "Well My name is Lance Ryan, my wife is dead, and now I am going to show you what a human being can do when he is pushed to the extreme. " Midori pulled out a sword and raced towards him Lance grabbed his Katana and roared. Their swords clashed, the clang of metal was echoing throughout the hall. Lance dodged her every move with unbelievable speed, "You don't know what you're messing with Midori, You would be, as my Grandpa John would say, 'teasing the gorilla in the monkey house' give up now." Midori growled and rammed her sword at Lance. Lance Leapt into the air, but he didn't come down. Midori Looked up, Lance smiled, "Adios, bitch!" Lance said hanging on a rafter then rammed the sword straight down through her esophagus, impaling her. Midori collapsed. All though out the floor he heard the sounds of meat hitting walls, all of Midori's surviving fledglings were exploding. Lance smirked, and whistled as he walked down the hall, blood tricking out of every door. The sound followed him all the way upstairs to the only other floor, there on the floor was the remains of Midori's partner Yuuske, "Must have been a fledgling, oh well one less bastard for me to kill." Lance said kicking the vampire's heart out of the way. Lance then walked into the main chamber, there sitting on a throne was Gil Nightray. His black hair was tousled in a way that made him look semi emo with his golden eyes sparkling in the candlelight. "Ladies and Gentlemen the great Lance Ryan, I have been waiting for you." Lance smirked, "Really asshole, just for me?" he said Gil smirked, "I have a surprise for you. Bacchi-gu, bring them out." Lance watched in horror as his friends and his wife were led out in shackles and manacles the fang marks of vampires on their necks. "Angela? Guys, oh god no, no! What have you done to them you son of a bitch!" Gil laughed, "They are all my Refields now, I can break there curse on one condition. You fight me, if I win you and your friends unofficially become members of whatever is left of my coven. If you win I will release them and allow you to kill me. What do you say Reaper? "Gil said. Lance pulled out his sword, "You want some? Quit talking and come get you some of this otaku!" Gil smiled as Bacchi-gu handed him a jewel encrusted sword, "If you say so Otaku." Lance said, he looked over at Angela who was white as a sheet, the whole gang looked terrible. Lance and Gil stood at ready, "You sure you wanna die? If you want to die put a gun to your head and pull the trigger." Lance said Gil raced towards him, Lance stepped out of the way tripping Gil. The vampire fell to the floor, "You know, I think your mother wanted an abortion but she took the wrong pill!" Lance said as Gil stood up and charged again. Lance held his sword and then raised it cutting Gil's right arm off. Gil stood there his arm now spraying blood. "You mother fucker!" He shouted as he raced towards the Otaku his left hand still clutching the sword. Lance sliced that arm off the sword falling with a loud clang. He stood over Gil now on his knees, "I told you if you wanted to die just use a gun, I hate to do this." Gil looked up as Lance sliced his head off and the body fell to the floor. Bacchi-gu raced to Gil, "Master? Master, you son of a bitch, you killed my master! Bacchi-gu said and raced toward Lance. The demon reaping otaku raised his fist and cold cocked the fat pervert knocking him out. Lance then turned and watched as a green mist flowed off his friends, he noticed their color returning and their fang marks disappearing. Lance reached into the head vampire's pocket and pulled out a set of keys, he began to free his friends. "Angela' you're alive! I could've sworn I killed you." Lance said as the sounds of exploding vampire creations filled the room. "Shut up and kiss me you vampire slaying stud you!" Angela said and pulled Lance close kissing him deeply. Madarame coughed, "Sorry, just the heat of the moment." Lance said and led his friends outside. Standing outside were the werewolves, "A howl for our savior, Lance Ryan killer of vampires!" Esmeralda said as the werewolves began to howl, Lance smiled and kissed Angela. "Lance we would just like for you to know that from now on you have the full protection of the Qatsi pack. We are forever in your debt, how may we repay you?" Esmeralda said as Lance looked at her, "I think I have something to repay you?" Lance said.

The marker on the Qatsi land said "Jacob Edwards born 1990 died 2009" Angela stood over the ground and touched the grave marker. Blue light shimmered out of the headstone as the sound of clawing could be heard by the werewolves. Within moment's Jacob's clawed hand popped out of the dirt and pulled he out of the ground, he was still wearing his black t-shirt and jeans. "This is my gift to you. Consider it a finder's fee." Lance said as he and the gang watched Jacob and Esmeralda embrace. Lance looked at his watch it was twelve AM October 31st, Halloween.

_Two Weeks Later,_

Lance was in his Lelouch costume striking serious poses with Ohno who was dressed like Chun Li , a costume she thought would be perfect to celebrate the release of Street Fighter Four They looked as if they were going to spar the snaps of the cameras gave them both joy. Angela stood as Kikyo looking to break up the fight before Lance looked into her eyes and made her fight Ohno. The cameras snapped. The new Inuyasha Dojinshi was selling like hotcakes as usual. The team of Lance and Chika had done it again making a masterpiece that anyone not just Inuyasha fans could pick up and read. They just sold their very last copy when the voice came over the loudspeaker announcing the end of comi-fest for the winter. "Hey Lance' I'm going to go freshen up I'll meet you guys by the entrance." Angela said she didn't notice the man in black following her. As she walked into the stall she looked around, someone had tagged the wall with sayings like "Obama takes it up the poop chute" and "Don't chew the Trojan gum it tastes like rubber" finishing her business she opened the door to wash her hands at the sinks. Turning on the hot water she didn't notice the man in black come from behind and place the rag over her mouth. Fighting as hard as she could she couldn't overcome the chloroform and went limp, her left sandal falling off.

It had been fifteen minutes when Lance went to the bathroom to check on Angela, it was there he found the sandal. "Not good, not good at all." Lance said and raced out shouting his wife's name. The gang raced towards him, "Where is she?" Madarame asked, "I don't know, she wouldn't leave without her sandals though." Lance said as his cell phone rang, he answered it. "I have your wife now Lance-san and soon my mistress will return and she will not be pleased!" the voice said Lance knew who it was, Bacchi-gu. Lance tried to reply but he hung up before he could say anything.

Bacchi-gu stood over the blood stained mattress, he had killed numerous women on this mattress, and the bodies lay slumped against the wall, their slit throats caked with blood. "I need more blood Bacchi-gu" The voice in the mattress said. This mattress was no ordinary mattress now, it had lips, breasts and eyes more blood was needed to make Midori whole again and the drugged girl in the Kikyo costume looked like a perfect match.

_TBC_


	10. Chapter 10

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 60: The Line Blurs

Detective Hojo sat in the conference room with the missing person's detective unit. The mood was solemn as they went over the various documents. Twelve missing high school girls, all were seen going into Love Hotel's with an overweight, bespectacled college student, the managers don't see anything strange and the next morning the girl is gone maybe for good. "We wanna know if there is a connection between these missing persons and the Cosplay Killer. I understand you handled the case quite well detective but the fact is there may be more victims that Kuchiki Manabu killed in his time here on earth we may not have accounted for." The detective said. Hojo looked at the photos, "Gentlemen I'll be frank. For a year now the cosplay killer case has been closed, all crimes that are similar in nature have all been attributed to the work of fame seeking copycats. The facts of this case are simple; in 2004 Kuchiki began murdering young women as a means of satisfying a sexual urge as well as his own mental illness. He has two personalities, one called "Little Kuchiki" who was the voice of reason, the superego if you will to "Bob" the killer who killed these young women. Now Kuchiki –san weighed 135 hardly overweight for a man his size, the man you claim to look for is overweight. If you had a photo of this man I could do a search in data banks here in the office for a person fitting that description otherwise gentlemen there is nothing I can really do for you. Now if you'll excuse me there was a big drug bust help a rookie file some paperwork." Hojo said and turned to leave. "We have a survivor!" The detective shouted. Hojo looked at him, "What do you mean by that?" The detective continued, "We have a woman who claims to have escaped from this guy's lair and can tell us about it." Hojo shrugged, "Lead the way."Hojo said and followed the detectives out the door.

Angela was tethered to the wall, a collar and chain around her neck, her white Kikyo cosplay outfit was spotted with blood from god knows where. Bacchi-gu was still talking to the mattress. He told her it was alive but she knew the truth, this whole thing, her kidnapping and Lance's subsequent rescue was all a ploy for something. There was nothing in that mattress she could see enough that the body that was forming was all in the fat pervert's head. Bacchi-gu stopped talking and turned to Angela walking over to her and unchaining her. "Now my dear, it is time for my queen's meal, it is so sad that your husband couldn't come and save you in time." Angela laughed, "That's where you're wrong asshole!" Bacchi-gu noticed a shadow looming in the doorway and turned. There he saw Lance dressed in his Lelouch cosplay outfit. "Lance I didn't know you were, "Bacchi-gu couldn't finish Lance kicked him on the side of the head. "You should have known as soon as you made that call that I'd come get your ass! Get up! Get up damn it and fight. You had the brass balls to take my wife while she was vulnerable, then call and talk shit. So come on, get your fat ass up and fight me" Bacchi-gu stood up and put up his fists, Lance kicked him in the crotch. Bacchi-gu fell to the ground coughing, "That was a cheap shot!" he said, Lance smiled, "Yeah, but it made me feel good! It makes me feel good to kick you in the spot you do all your thinking with." Bacchi-Gu tried to stand up Lance pressed him down to the ground hard. "I can't breathe!" Bacchi-gu said, "That's the idea. You see the one thing evil people like you don't seem to get is that when you piss me off I tend to react violently. Particularly if people I care about are involved. Now give me one good reason why Angela should have been here, and I'll tell the police what nice cooperative rolly polly pervy you are."Lance said as Bacchi-gu coughed and looked up. "She is going to resurrect my mistress, she's almost ready!" Lance stepped off Bacchi-gu and looked at the mattress, "You think Midori is in here?" Lance said looking at the blank blood soaked mattress. "You can't see her eyes, her mouth, not even her breasts?" Bacchi-gu said. Lance nodded, "This is just a bloody mattress, no Hellraiser shit here. Don't you know, once you kill a vampire coven leader, the rest never come back. I killed Gil so no more vampires will ever come back here. Maybe in your head but no, the theoretical head has been severed from the body." Lance said as he grasped Angela's hand and walked her out of the room, It was then they heard Bacchi-gu scream. Lance couldn't help notice the stench of rotting corpses in the air.

"Okay Miss Takahashi, tell Detective Hojo what you told us." Detective Urasawa said, "I was at a bar when this guy came over to me and ordered me some Sake. We drank for a while and of course I got bombed, so he came up with a wild idea in his head to go to a love hotel." Ranma said "I agreed and we went to this place in Akibara and we got drunk some more, that's when I passed out. I woke up in a strange room with a bloody mattress and the guy was talking to it. The place smelled like rotting meat and there were these dead bodies around me, he tied me to the mattress and was going to slit my throat. I was so afraid for my life I bit his arm and kicked his balls." I then dashed out of the room and ran down the hallway till I found some double doors, he was chasing me but he didn't go outside. I then just came to a local restaurant and they called the police." She said. Hojo looked at her, "Do you know where it is?" He asked, she nodded, "It's an old abandoned high school. That's all I know." Hojo went to a map on the wall, "I think I know where that is, get the CSI's and meet me there." He said and walked out.

Lance and Angela were walking out of the building when they were greeted not by the gang but by hundreds of police cars, "Freeze!" They shouted, Lance and Angela raised their hands, "He's in there, he tried to kill my wife!" Hojo stepped out of his car, "Put the guns down boys it's that American Otaku and his wife." Hojo said as he raced inside he could hear, Bacchi-gu screaming. Racing to the location Knocked on the door, "Tokyo Police, open the door!" Bacchi-gu looked at the mattress and put the gun to his head. "Tokyo Police, I'm giving you till the count of three. One, Two," Before Hojo could say three Bacchi-gu shot himself in the head. "We have gunfire; I repeat we have gunfire all units report." Hojo said as he kicked open the door to find the room of horrors and the dead pervert, "Good gods!" he said just as the men began to walk inside. Hojo leaned out a window and threw up. He had never seen this much carnage since Kuchiki. He then walked outside and turned to Lance, "What the hell were you doing in there?" He asked Lance smiled, "When you mess with the bull you get the horns. He took my wife at comi-fest, I kicked his ass enough said. I suppose you'll want some statements?" he said Hojo nodded, "We'll talk to you in your car" Lance said and held Angela close to him.

_10:45 PM on a rural road somewhere near the school_

"Jesus Christ, that was a madhouse!" The driver said as he drove down the narrow roadway toward the coroner's office. His passenger looked at him, "The stiff we got in the back is the killer. Coward blew his fucking brains out; I personally would have liked to have seen him die like his victims, huh Naoki." The passenger said, Naoki made a gurgling noise, his partner turned and looked, and his throat had been cut. The car swerved right of center crashing into a tree. The passenger looked out his window and rubbed his head, "Son of a Bitch," he grabbed the radio, "this is 51-10 we need assistance, we are about, oh god!" a hand had grabbed the back of his head and tugged on his hair tightening the skin before slitting his throat. Bacchi-gu peeled the stage makeup off his head and picked up the knife. "Dumb cops, can't they tell real brains from fake ones. Oh well, there are plenty of women in this world." He said and walked toward a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by a beautiful young woman, "Can I help you?" Bacchi-gu smiled "Hi, My car broke down and I don't have cell service out here. May I use your phone?" The woman smiled, "Yeah come on in, and I'm here alone so I was getting bored." She said and shut the door. Bacchi-gu smiled, she didn't notice the knife behind his back.

_End Season five_

_To be continued in season 6_


	11. Chapter 11

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 61: Found Footage

_My sincerest thanks go out to the fan's of Club Room. I would also like to thank Lancetheflamesniper for constantly giving me ideas for sequences in this story and giving my brother the courage to venture off campus if only for some delicious Chinese food. God Bless you all. Superotaku_

Lance had arrived with Angela at their home at around 9 o'clock to find Negi watching the news. "This truly was a scene of horrors, Yusuke," The reporter said, "The police are still finding bodies, at last count there were fifteen in all, some in various states of decomposition. The killer, Bacchi-Gu Madarame, has committed suicide, his school of horrors includes acts necrophilia and cannibalism just to name a few reports we've heard, Yusuke this is truly a horrifying sight, back to you." Lance shut off the TV, "Negi, why were you watching that? You know that shit will give you nightmares" Lance said Negi looked at his adopted mother's Kikyo outfit, "You were there weren't you? Tell me all the details." Lance folded his arms and Negi shrunk in his seat. "I'm going to wash this, what gets blood out?" Angela said, "Spray that Oxy Clean stuff my mom mailed us it should come out if not we'll use club soda. Good thing we don't have class tomorrow." Lance said. Angela gave him a reply from the laundry room when the phone rang. "Hello?" Lance said "Good evening Lance-san. How are you?"The voice said Lance recognized it immediately. "Bacchi-gu, you're dead?" Bacchi-gu laughed "It's amazing how prosthetics work. I thought you'd like to hear something, come here!" he said Lance then heard a girl beg for her life before she screamed and a gurgling noise came from her throat. "I will do that to all of your friends, you know, you destroyed my life now I'm going to destroy yours. Chao Lance-san I have some business to attend to." Bacchi-Gu hung up the phone and dropped the girl's body to the floor. Her throat was cut and he was dragging her body toward the living room. Propping the girl up in a chair he went to the broom closet and found a mop. Mopping the floor he hummed a merry tune, this was going to be a fun time for him. After finishing the cleaning he found the girl's purse and pulled some keys from it, on there was an Inuyasha key chain, "Well, time for some more fun!" He said and walked over to the girls Toyota and unlocked the door.

"51-10 what's your twenty?" an officer said as Hojo stood next to the car. "Damn it, they were supposed to be at the morgue twenty minutes ago, where the in the hell are they?" Hojo said as his cell phone rang, it was Ox. "Hojo we found the coroner's van. Bacchi-gu is not in it. God it's a mess in there, fucking slit their throats and the van's totaled." Hojo stood there and popped a piece of gum in his mouth. "Where did he run off to?" Hojo said, "Hold on there's some people running over to us. Yes, Yes, oh god. Hojo we have a body, it's at a house about fifty yards from the crash site." Ox said. Hojo looked at his watch, "I'll be there as fast as I can. Son of a Bitch ran off on us!" Hojo said and started his car and dialed Lance Ryan.

"Yes detective Hojo, I know about the other murder as well." Lance said Hojo was taken aback "How?" he said, "Our little friend decided to call me and perform the act over the phone. I don't have it recorded but it sounded like him. Look, I'll call my friends and tell them to lock their doors and windows, okay." Hojo agreed and hung up, Negi was watching an episode of Inuyasha that Lance had written, Kouga was about to fight a demon from his past before the episode ended and the credit sequence rolled. "Negi, time for bed I don't want you sleeping in all day." Negi sighed and went to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Lance walked to his bedroom, taking off his Lelouch costume he didn't notice Angela looking at him. His blond hair shone in the moonlight, adding a bit of romance novel quality to his toned body. Lance put on a pair of boxers was about to put on a t-shirt when he heard Angela. "You are absolutely beautiful, you know that? I would do you in a heartbeat." Lance turned around and smiled, "I guess that means you want the shirt off?" He said as he hopped into bed, Angela looked into his blue eyes, "You're not going to use a Geass to make me sleep with you are you?" Lance imitated Lelouch, "You will sleep with me." Lance said in a dark voice, Angela laughed and kissed Lance deeply, and rested her head on his chest, the scent of his AXE body spray lingering on him. The events of the evening were forgotten.

The Toyota could be traced; Bacchi-gu knew that so he had left the car alongside the road near town. Walking into the little village of Hinamizaowa felt like home, he walked over to the house that said Kuchiki on the mailbox; the house was abandoned but was in decent shape. He walked to the front door and opened it. Walking inside he could smell dust and clean linen, somebody had been taking care of the house. Walking upstairs he found the bedrooms and chose the one with the biggest bed. He didn't even notice the photo on the mirror of a happy family, a young woman, her husband and daughter. This house used to be the Kuchiki house but the old mailbox was going to be removed tomorrow the real mail box said Sonosaki, the house was occupied.

_Two weeks Later_

"I'll get it Angela." Lance said adjusting his tie; Negi and he were going to teach their class about horror movies in the western world. He had a DVD of clips made up and a Power Point on his laptop. Answering the door Lance saw a young man, standing at his door with a box. "Let me guess if I push the button in the box I get a million dollars?" Lance said sarcastically, The American spoke. "Mr. Ryan, My name is Matthew Edward and my brother said to give this to you." Lance was puzzled. "Why, is it a bomb? I have enough crazy fans I don't need to die from one of them." Matthew shook his head, "No, it's footage, and some other things my brother was doing for a school project here at the university. Suiho University I believe. He was a film student. He never came home, he told me before he left that if anything should remain from his trip I should give it to you. It has to do with some killer, Kuchiki something or another." He said. Lance grabbed the box, "Look I don't know who you are but your brother was playing with fire and got his ass burned. If I were you I would go to the Tokyo police department and file a missing person's report. I'll take this, but if some freaky shit is on it I will not hesitate to come get your ass okay?" Lance said and set the box on the coffee table and slammed the door, "Who was it dearie?" Angela said. "Oh it's just some dong with a package, ready to go, Angie?" Angela stepped out in a beautiful white blouse and black slacks, "I'm going over the Scarlett Letter today in class do I look like a tramp?" she said. Lance laughed, "No you look just fine, and didn't you read the Manga version yesterday? That's not how Hester Prynne would dress." Angela kissed Lance and along with Negi walked to the university.

"The Pseudo-documentary format has been used in horror before Blair Witch. In Italy the film Cannibal Holocaust was a perfect example of this. Most recently the film Paranormal Activity has been using this to great effect in America. Now we are going to move on to Slasher films, these were common in the 80's in the states and had a resurgence in the 90's with Scream, which I will show a clip of now, Negi lights please." Lance said and showed the infamous Drew Barrymore sequence. Negi turned on the lights. "So what have we learned about western genre cinema? We have learned that history in cinema has at time repeated itself. The gore filled Slashers of the 80's and late 90's have given rise to films like Hostel and the endless Saw series. As we look at Asian culture some gore is featured but in more extreme cases. Park Chan Wook's "Oldboy," in Korea Takashi Miike's "Audition" even the now infamous Guinea Pig Series in the 80's in Japan. Next week we will look at Comedy in the terms of American cinema and Japanese anime. Have a good day." Lance said. As he was gathering his things a young girl approached him. "Ryan-sensei that was an awesome lecture, but I am having trouble understanding the homework." The girl said; she had blond hair and a tan sweater on. "Well, miss" Lance said, "Albarn, Maka Albarn." Lance smiled, "Well Miss Albarn I don't have office hours today but we can discuss it tomorrow let's say noon." Maka nodded and walked off. Lance picked up his satchel and followed Negi to the Club Room. There the news was on TV instead of the usual anime. Bodies were being removed from a house and the caption on the screen said "Family Massacred in Hinamizaowa." Lance watched the others stare in rapt attention. "Okay Kujibiki Unbalance is going to be on in five minutes so get this shit off of here." Lance said Ohno turned and looked at him "Didn't you hear? they found that family that had been missing for two weeks. They were murdered, throats cut and everything. It's on every channel." Lance looked at the mailbox and on the side it said Kuchiki. "I got to go home for a few minute. Tell Angela I'll be back okay." Lance said the gang nodded.

Lance opened the box; there inside were notes, all about Hinamizaowa's history, about its demonic past and the reforms made by the new village council. There were photos of the Kuchiki burial site which were several unmarked plots with no urns to speak of. There at the bottom was a DVD that said "Play Me." Lance placed the DVD into his player. A young man with brown hair and glasses wearing a Blue Hawaiian shirt sat on a dirty concrete floor. "Hello Mr. Ryan, my name is Steve Edwards. If you are watching this then this is my final record of what happened here in Hinamizaowa. My crew, my friends all dead, killed by the third Kuchiki brother who lives in this house, funny I thought Negishi was the last one but there is a third. If he's already killed the family that lives here and their bodies are next to me off camera of course. I just wanted to tell you the name of the last Kuchiki brother, his name is," Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs and then he saw the killer come into the shot, his large body blocking the view. "No, No, God please I won't tell anybody just let me go just let me go!" The sound of the man's screams filled the room, the killer moved away to show the victim's head nearly severed, the killer shut off the camera. Lance was silent; the ringing of the phone scared him out of his skin. Picking up the phone Lance answered the phone, "Hellooo Lance-san guess who?" it was Bacchi-gu "You killed those people, what's next, huh. You killed an entire family now I've noticed you killed a few more people they just haven't found the bodies yet. You killed those film students didn't you?" Bacchi-gu laughed, "And you'll never guess where I am now?" Lance heard the sound of the university bell tower. He was heading toward the club room. "No, god, Bacchi-gu, don't do it." Bacchi-gu hung up, "No!" Lance shouted and raced out the door running as fast as he could.

Hojo stepped out of the car and walked over to Ox. "Okay where is he?" he said, Ox looked at him, "Where's who?" Hojo growled, "The damn American otaku and his friends!" Ox shrugged, "Maybe he's taking the day off. Anyway it's a mess in there, those film students are in there too, making the total nine bodies so far." Ox said Hojo's cell phone rang. "Hojo?" he said, "Get to the university he's there and he's going to kill my friends!" Lance shouted, "Slow down Lance-san, where are you?" Lance shouted "I'm almost to the University, hurry damn it!" he hung up Hojo turned to his men. "Okay folks, plans changed we need to get to Suiho University now! Go, Go, Go!"

Lance walked in the door there tied up all around the room was his club mates. "Oh god, don't worry I'll get you guy's untied." Lance said, he didn't notice the hammer hitting him in the back of the head, knocking him out. "Now that Lance is here the party can begin." Bacchi-gu said and began to laugh like a lunatic.

_To be continued,_


	12. Chapter 12

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 62: Disconnect

Lance heard her scream, that is what snapped him out of his fog. Bacchi-gu had already begun working on Ohno, taking his knife and popping the buttons off her sweater. The gang sat around the room in a daze, most of them had cuts on their body, Angela and Negi remained untouched. "What, what the fuck is going on?" Lance said, Bacchi-gu looked up and gave Lance a Cheshire cat grin, "So you're awake, I worked a bit on your friends while you were out. Don't they look nice? I will finish them later. How are you Lance-san, does your head hurt?" he said. Lance looked at him, "Well, well, well, looks as if you've finally snapped. You know I think the police know about those film students you killed. The family that lived in that house too, you're gonna be in some shit. The cops are going to come and get you and haul your ass to jail. You're going to be someone's uke by the time they pull your fat ass out and take you to trial. I suggest a lot of KY." Lance said Bacchi-gu growled. "Shut the fuck up. You don't know what my life was like. I was always alone, never had a girlfriend, even in high school. I meet up with a pretty girl and my horny level skyrockets you know?" he said, Lance looked at him "So that gives you the excuse to kill women. You know you have to be one ignorant bastard. People like you aren't worth jack shit." Bacchi-gu raced toward Lance and pressed the knife to the otaku's throat. "I'll kill you right now. I will kill you, and then I'll kill your wife and all your friends. Shut your god damn mouth!" he said, he didn't know Lance had his hands free. Reaching up he grabbed Bacchi-gu's arm and twisted it forcing him to drop his knife and breaking the bones in his arm. His femur was sticking out through his elbow. "You motherfucker, I'm going to kill you!" he said, Lance stood up and net of energy at him capturing Bacchi-gu. "I have a surprise for you chubkins." Lance said as a black shape floated over toward the killer, the white mask loomed over his face. "Well, well, looks as if I have a soul to drag to the dark realm!" The thing said Lance stood up on the table. "Bacchi-gu, meet the lord of all realms Shinigami-sama you son of a bitch!" he said as Shinigami-sama took the net and slung it over his back. "You won't be seeing him anymore, I promise." He said Lance nodded and watched at a hole opened in the room and the two left the room. Lance looked as he saw the flashing lights approach the school. "Looks like the game's over. I always win. Never forget that, never." Lance said as he untied his friends, Madarame looked up. "Where is he?" he said, "I sent him to the dark realm. We'll never hear from him again." Lance said, "What? How could you, he's my cousin, he's a club member you just can't do that!" Lance untied Kasukabe, "He was dead weigh, you saw him at comi-fest. He didn't do anything, but walk around the center and look bored. They guy was a psychotic, perverted freak who needed to be removed from this world. Don't forget that he has Kuchiki blood in him. Madness is like a disease, once it hits you, you're dead." Lance untied Madarame and felt his fist collide with his stomach. Lance coughed, even though he had a strong core he couldn't take a punch. "I'll destroy you Lance Ryan; I'll make you pay for dragging my cousin to the dark realm!" Madarame said and stormed off. Angela walked over to Lance. "He'll get over it, I wonder what detective Hojo will say about this." She said Lance looked at her, 'I hope so, I hope so."

_One day later_

Lance was grading paper's listening to Queen on the radio when he heard a knock on the door. "Enter." Lance said, Maka walked in, she was wearing a short skirt and her sweater vest was unbuttoned at the top giving off a bit of cleavage. "Oh, Maka, I almost forgot. You wanted to go over something for class right?" Lance said. Maka sat on Lance's desk. "That's not the reason why I'm here. You know I have been thinking about you for some time. I see you in class, I see you around campus. I just get so hot." She said and uncrossed her legs, she wasn't wearing panties and Lance caught a glimpse before she re-crossed them. "Maka, are you trying to seduce me?" Lance said. Maka grabbed his tie and kissed him deeply; Lance resisted and pushed her away. "Look I don't know what you're getting at but I am happily married to a beautiful woman, and certainly don't need an affair. Unless you have class issues to bring up this meeting is over. Leave, now!" Maka grabbed her satchel, "I'll be back, Ryan-sensei!" she said, Lance yelled back, "Over my dead body." He barely could hear the sound of a camera phone's click as someone took pictures of the event. The unknown person searched his phone book and found the number for Angela Ryan and sent the pictures.

Lance walked into the club room there standing against the wall was Angela. "Hey babe, what's up?" Lance said Angela slapped him across the face. "You no good, cheating son of a bitch, how could you do this?" she said, Lance looked at the photo on her cell phone. It was him and Maka kissing. "Angela, I can explain, you see," Lance said Angela stopped him. "I thought I was your only one. Your true love, the one you'd die for. Now you're sleeping with one of your students! I've had enough, I am going to get a divorce tomorrow and I'm packing my things tonight!" Angela said, Lance was stunned, "Can't we talk about this, don't you want to learn the truth?" he said Angela turned to him, "I love you, I've been through hell with you, I've given all a woman could give to a man and you cheated on me. It is over Lance Ryan, I hate you." She said and raced out of the room, the Gang was standing in the doorway watching, Lance pushed past them and followed her, reaching the courtyard, the rain steadily fell Lance slipped and fell, losing sight of her. "Angela," he screamed, "Angela!" Sassahara ran outside and helped Lance off the ground. "It's over, my life is over!" Lance said. "Come inside Lance-san and dry off" Sassahara said as Lance walked in the club room. "Which one of you did it?" He shouted, "I know you're in here you pussy motherfucker!" Madarame snickered as Lance shouted. "Never underestimate a camera phone!" Madarame said. Lance raced over to him and slugged him in the face. Blood dripped from Madarame's nose. He leaped on top of Lance and slammed him to the floor. Lance rolled him over and thrust his knee into Madarame's groin. Madarame coughed as lance slugged him in the chest and abdomen. Sassahara pulled Lance off of him, "God Lance, calm down I'm sure once Angela hears the truth she'll get in order. " He said, "I'll kill you!" Lance shouted at Madarame, "Revenge is sweet, isn't it Lance-san. You ruined my life by getting rid of Bacchi-gu and now I ruined yours." Madarame said. Lance growled, "I'll gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you if I have to!" Madarame wiggled his fingers, "Bring it Lance-san. If you think you're man enough go ahead." Kousaka stepped between the two. "I think club is canceled for today. Lance needs some time to think." Some of the gang walked out but Ohno stayed behind. "You really love her, don't you?" She said as Lance placed his head in his hands and began to weep. "I don't know what to do. I can't live without her, and I know what happened. I resisted all the way, and still she thinks because that girl kissed me that I cheated on her. I didn't even let her tongue get in my mouth, my lips were forced open and I swear to god I never intended for this to happen." He said. A voice spoke from the doorway, "I never intended for this to happen either," It was Madarame "I was just trying to get back at you for ruining my family but we all kinda hated Bacchi-gu, if anybody deserves to go to the dark realm it's him. I'm going right now." He said Lance looked at him, "Where?" The four-eyed otaku looked at him. "To see Angela and make things right, I can't stand to lose a friend." Ohno followed him with Tanaka in tow.

Angela was looking at a photo album, photos from com-fest, their wedding and trips to Akibara and Harijuku. It was then she heard the knock at the door. Opening the door she saw Madarame standing next to Tanaka and Ohno. "What brings you three here? You want me to change my mind. It's not gonna work. I am going to leave him you know." Angela said Madarame pushed a button on his phone and a video played. It showed Lance rejecting Maka and telling her how he was married to a beautiful woman and was happy. "I filmed this on accident. I thought you should you see this before you leave him." Madarame said as Angela walked into the living room with the otaku in tow. "So he does love me, how do I tell him. How do I tell him I'm sorry?" Ohno smiled, "I have an idea. I'll gather the gang at the club room tonight for a surprise meeting. If you come with me I believe I have something that will knock him dead.

The gang had gathered in the club room waiting for Lance to get back from a staff meeting. Opening the door he was greeted by his club mates. "Lance-san we have a surprise for you." Ohno said. "Is it beer because I sure could use some." he said, and then Ohno turned on the stereo. Madonna's "Open Your Heart." Began to play as Angela stepped out dress as Sango, her ears were pointed a nod to his stories. Angela began to lip sync the song as she sat Lance down in his chair and then sat on his lap. Lance laughed, as the song ended, she turned to Lance, "Lance Ryan, will you take me back? Forgive me for everything I said. Love me forever, will you do that?" she said. Lance kissed her deeply on the lips. "Does that answer your question?" Lance said the gang cheered. "Let's go somewhere and party, what do you say?" Lance shouted, the gang clapped and as they followed Lance outside with him carrying Angela in his arms.

Maka had stolen one of the mice from the psychology lab and had performed the ceremony; there standing in front of her was a young fat man with glasses. 'I did it. I summoned someone from the dark realm." Maka shouted as she looked at the man standing in front of her. "You'll help me get Lance right?" Maka said, Bacchi-gu smiled, "We'll do that and more."

_TBC_


	13. Chapter 13

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 63: Three

_Authors note: The following episode should be rated M+ due to extreme violent content, including a graphic description of animal abuse. You have been warned._

_This story could not have been written without the help of Lancetheflamesniper who has been my muse when I'm stuck on episodes for a year now. Merry Christmas friend._

Lance stood and looked around the black and white checkered room. He had dreamed this place before many nights after he and Angela had reconciled and it was always the same person. "Lance-san," Bacchi-Gu said, "I'm coming for you. I'm going to hurt you and your family. If you ever wondered what the devil is like, you're going to get to meet him. I've even brought a guest for you." He said and pulled Angela by the hair. "No!" Lance shouted but it was too late; the knife Bacchi-gu held in his hand was pulled across her throat. This is when Lance usually woke up. Bolting up with a jolt, Lance looked at his alarm clock. 7:55 am in Japan, in an hour and forty-five minutes he would be giving out his final exam in his American Pop Culture Class. Angela looked at him, "Another bloody nightmare?" she asked. Lance lay back with a thump. "Yes, same one every night and I think it means something." Angela turned to him, "He's in the dark realm, Lance. He can't escape, and if he did he wouldn't be here long." Lance sighed. "I know that, but what if these are premonitions; signs from Shinigami-sama that he is out there?" Angela got out of bed. "All I know is that it is the last day of classes and we have a party to go to." Lance looked at the date, "Shit, the faculty holiday party I forgot!" Lance said as he stepped out of bed and walked to the bathroom, he hoped things were okay.

Maka Albarn was becoming quite upset with herself. He was out of control; the demon she summoned was killing girls and leaving their bodies strewn about her apartment. This was supposed to be her way of getting Lance but he didn't notice her, and now this demon was making her life a living hell. The portly demon stepped out of his room, dragging a corpse behind him by the hair of her head. "I've got it all worked out Maka, tonight will be your night." Bacchi-gu said as he lay the dead girl down on the floor. "Well it's about fucking time, when do we start?" Maka said as she stood up and looked at Bacchi-gu. "As soon as she leaves for the party, then we'll strike." he said and walked over to Maka "You'll help, right?" he said. Maka nodded and they set their plan in motion.

_7:30 pm Tokyo, Japan._

Angela never expected that she'd be walking alone to the faculty Christmas party. Lance had left her a voicemail saying he'd be there as soon as possible, he had a meeting to attend with some of the Western Studies professors, and he'd meet her at the hotel at 8. She left him in charge of the sake; the bottle was sitting on the counter at home near their wedding photo. It was her idea to bring something to the party and since they'd all be drunk walking was a safe choice. A bitter wind blew from the east; she tightened her coat to her chest and walked on. She looked around her, the shops were lit with holiday merriment; the new "Legend of Zelda" game was on sale if you bought one of those new Nintendo DSi thingys. Things were looking a lot like another Japanese Christmas, then she noticed the people, they were walking backwards. "Holy shit, this is not happening!" Angela said just as a voice spoke behind her. "Oh trust me, it is." Bacchi-gu sneered and placed the chloroform soaked rag over her mouth.

_7:30 Lance and Angela's apartment_

"Shit, piss, fuck, damn it, where did I put those goddamn cufflinks I know they're here?" Lance said as he turned and saw Negi holding the box with the links in his hands. "Thanks, son, sorry you can't come tonight." Lance said as towards the kitchen. "Don't worry I got good old Chuck Dickens to keep me company." Negi said pulling out a copy of "A Christmas Carol" Lance smiled, and then the power went off. "Goddamn piece of shit wiring in this place." Lance said as the lights then began to flicker approaching him was a familiar face, Kuchiki. His face was badly scared and his body covered in leaking festers and maggots, "Long time no see Lance-san." he said, "Hello you stupid mother fucker you. They let you out of that nut house again?" Lance spat back. "I am only here for a short time, the reapers are looking for my soul," Kuchiki said, "Listen closely; your wife has been taken. Where? None of my business, but this will be a test, one you can't afford to fail. Your wife is hidden in one of three dimensions of the dark realm you must find these dimensions and rescue her. If you fail, she remains in these dimensions and will never escape. Is that clear?" he said. Lance shook his head, "Where are these dimensions? Why are you telling me this?" Kuchiki dissolved and left Lance's questions unanswered for the time being. "Shit, why tonight of all nights why tonight?" Lance turned to Negi; "Hold down the fort, if any shit starts to happen, call me." he said and raced out the door.

_7:50 PM the Howling Wolf Tavern_

"You've got yourself in a jam Lance." Esmeralda said as she poured a rice beer for herself and sat down at the bar next to him. "There is one person that can help you find your wife though. He has an ability only available to 1 out of every 100 werewolves." she said, Lance looked at her, "And that would be?" he said, "Aura tracking, do you see that man standing at the jukebox with the cowboy boots and Fedora?" She said. Lance looked at the well built man with in the black button up shirt. "You mean cowboy Casanova, over there, what's his name?" Esmeralda looked at him, "Rob Pratchett, he just joined our pack, you need to speak with him about finding your wife." she said as Lance stood up and walked over to the jukebox. "I hear you got a rare ability? I am looking for someone of your type." Lance said as Rob tipped his fedora up, "Mister, I am not a gigolo, so take your faggot ass somewhere else." Lance laughed, "No, no I am I am talking about your aura tracking, I need it to find my wife." Rob smirked, "Lemme guess, your wife has disappeared into some realm and you need me to sniff her out, that it?" he said Lance nodded. "Come with me, I got something to show ya." Rob said and led Lance out to the alleyway. There, standing end to end, were three doors. All of them had frames and crude lettering that looked as if they were scrawled by a three year old. The first door said, "That which has past" The second "That which is now" and the last one said "That which has yet to come" Rob laughed. "Damn things appeared outta nowhere no more than twenty minutes ago. Hell if I know where they go, but I am sure your wife is behind one of those doors." Lance walked over to the first door and pulled it open, a white light emanated from it. "So we just step in and go with it?" Lance said, Rob laughed, "Shit, I don't even know anything about these things." he said and followed lance inside.

_That which is past_

The room was dimly lit and smelled like cigarettes, cheap ones. The sound of a young boy crying in agony was heard throughout the house. Lance arrived in the dusty foyer to find he was quite familiar with these surroundings. "My house, how did we end up here?" he said as Rob followed him towards the kitchen. There stood Lance's mother crying over a sink, a bloody rag clutched to her face. Lance moved closer to the woman, "Ma, Ma you okay?" she didn't notice him, but he did notice her bruised and battered face. "No fucking way this happened in my past! My Mama and Daddy never got violent." Lance said and raced towards the upstairs, his footsteps making loud thuds. "Dad, what the fuck have you done to, oh my god?" Rob stood next to him, there bent over the bed was Tilden, his father molesting him. "Jesus Christ!" Lance said, "This never happened in my past, why is this happening? Somebody make it stop!" Lance's father zipped up his pants and walked over to the next room; Lance followed him and saw himself as a young boy petting a Bichon puppy, young Lance was weeping. "Quit yer damn cryin." Lance's father said, and picked the puppy up by its tail and swung his arm back. "Oh god, he's not going to?" Lance said as the older man smashed the puppy into the wall, repeating the motion several times until the dog's ribs were sticking out of his skin. "Good lord is that what your father did?" Rob said. Lance shook his head, "No this is all pretend. None of this ever happened!" Then the world became blurry and the scene changed to a teenaged Lance. He was wearing a black trench coat and walking towards his high school. "Oh this can't be good." Rob said Lance ran in front of his teen self trying to block him. "Hey, Heyyyy, we need to talk!" Lance shouted but the teenager passed through him like a ghost. A young man sat out on the lawn reading a book. "Lance?" the teen said, "It's best if you don't go inside for the rest of the day." Teen Lance said as he walked into the school and chained the doors shut. Lance slipped through them with Rob behind him, "If you sense my wife now would be a good time to tell me." Lance said, as screams were heard above the shotgun blasts. A young man fell out into the hallway his brains oozing out of his skull. "Well Any time, sweetheart!" Lance said turning to Rob just as a woman who looked like Angela raced out of the library and fell. "Angela!" Lance shouted, Rob shook his head, "Nope not her, her aura is off." he said as the teenaged Lance stepped on her back and fired the gun into the back of her head. The world dissolved and the alleyway reappeared.

_Shuffle_

"That is not my past. How that happened is beyond me!" Lance said as he sat down in the dingy alley and collected his thoughts, "Maybe there are darker forces behind this?" Rob said. Lance looked at the second door. "We'll see what is behind this door and then decide for ourselves." Lance said. Meanwhile Maka Albarn was riding the train towards the Howling Wolf Tavern.

_That which is now_

The world looked strange; the buildings were all twisted fragments of concrete and metal, glass crunched under the two traveler's shoes. "This is the present?" Rob said. Lance shook his head, "No, no it can't be." Lance remembered what the world looked like when madness took over the world, this was that world. "If this is the present then where are all the damn people?" Rob said, Lance looked at Rob, "This is after the battle between realms, it happened almost a year ago. Looks like as if we have went into the opposite side of the coin. Any people we meet will have been driven mad or worse, this is not good." Lance said just as a police cruiser pulled up in front of them. "You two show your marks!" the car's P.A screeched. "What marks?" Lance said a cop stepped out of the car, the face was that of Madarame, he had bulked up a bit; his neck was thick with muscle. "Control to 51-20 we got us some class D's in sector five." Madarame said as Lance looked at him, "Madarame, what the hell is going on?" The beefier Madarame hit him in the knee with a nightstick. Rob instantly morphed into a gigantic wolf and pounced on him, he was met with a shock from a stun gun. "You two get in the car, the leader will deal with you." Lance hobbled towards the car, "Do what they say Rob, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Lance said as the werewolf walked towards the car and sat down. They had no idea what was in store for them.

The palace was what used to be the building that housed the club room at the university, walking inside; Lance noticed that there were stained glass pictures of demons ravaging women and horrific monsters. He then saw the club room, only it wasn't the club room in the real world. There were heavy oak doors with lions head handles on them and when opened they led towards a large red throne, where a man with long black hair and blue eyes sat, a woman chained to the wall next to the chair was on her knees begging. "Please Master, just one more bite." she said. As Lance got closer he saw the woman was Angela and the man was him. "Ah so you two must be the class D's I heard on the radio. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Legolias, master of the world and you two are?" Lance looked at him, "This must be a dream, and I don't have black hair." Legolias looked at Lance and smirked, his fangs visible. "That's because I am, how you would put it, a doppelganger of sorts. What you don't have in your realm I have here. Care for some blood, I just drained a heroin addict yesterday." Legolias said as Angela pawed at his leg. "You're probably wondering why she's like this? My bite is very intoxicating and addictive, one bite and you're mine." Lance looked at him, "What is this class D thing you were calling us?" Legolias smiled. "Beings are divided into four classes in this world; Class A is paranormal, like me. Class B is priests who worship us, and lead the class C's to obey us. Class C's are slaves and Class D's are the lowest of the low, they simply refuse to obey and submit to madness." Lance looked at him, "Why is a doppelganger of me running the show here?" he said. Legolias looked at him and laughed, "Why, you submitted to your madness, killed Shinigami-sama and stole his power. That's how it happened, and now I must bid you boy's adieu." he said as Lance felt his head being pulled back and his throat cut.

_Reshuffle _

"No, that wasn't her either." Rob said rubbing his throat, "I didn't tell you because you seemed so interested in that doppelganger of yours." Lance looked at the third door, "She must be behind that one, process of elimination." he said, "Lance, Lance?" a voice shouted, It was Maka. "Maka, what the hell are you doing here?" Lance said as she clutched his suit and began to cry. "I'm sorry, Bacchi-gu went overboard. I thought summoning him would bring you to me, but I don't have control over him He's behind this whole thing. I know where your wife is and if you let me I'll show you. Please forgive me Lance." she said. Lance rubbed Maka's head and smiled, "I forgive you." Lance said and the three of them stepped through the third door.

_That which has yet to come_

Lance looked at the dark sky; the smell of dead leaves filled the air. The cemetery was one of immense sorrow, around it were flags of fallen Iraqi war dead, World War Veterans, flowers for aunts and uncles, moms and dads. It was there they found a grave with an angel on the headstone. It read: Lance Ryan February 12th 1982- December 20th 2009. "No it can't be! I didn't die today, I'm still here." Lance said as he touched the marker and suddenly arrived in his living room. "Silent Night" was playing on the stereo and Negi was in his chair, dead from a poisoned beverage Lance had made. Lance held a picture of Angela in his hands, weeping, and then he took the Katana from his side and thrust it into his abdomen committing harakiri. The real Lance screamed, and then was thrust back into the cemetery. "Damn it, somebody wake me up I want out, I want out!" he shouted Maka then pointed out a mausoleum, "She's in there, if you want it all to end she's in there." Lance walked towards the mausoleum and touched the door, he could feel Angela in there, and Rob sniffed around the area. "That's her all right. Bust down them doors pilgrim and save missy!" Rob said as Lance fired a beam of energy at the door. Chunks of stone and metal flew, as Lance burst in and saw Bacchi-gu standing over his wife with a knife. "Well, looks like we have a winner." Bacchi-gu said as Lance raced over to Angela and held her. Her body was covered in cuts from Bacchi-gu's knife. "But, I am afraid the rules have changed. Even though you found your wife, I am going to kill her and you. Why you might ask, because you brought these two interlopers in on our game. So now I must say goodbye to both of you." Lance noticed a pickaxe near him grabbing it he thrust it straight into Bacchi-gu's eye. He then pulled it out with a sickening sucking sound. Bacchi-gu clasped his hand to his eye and screamed, falling to the floor. Lance then slammed the pickaxe into the killer's groin repeatedly until a pulpy, bloody mess showed itself from his shorts. Bacchi-gu writhed in pain but Lance wasn't finished. He took the weapon and slammed it straight through his head, killing him instantly. Lance repeatedly slammed the pickaxe over and over until Bacchi-gu's head turned into noting but a mass of skull and meat. The world dissolved and Lance and the others ended up in the alleyway.

_Final Shuffle_

Lance held Angela in his arms and watched her wounds heal instantly. She was a special kind of reaper, one that could heal themselves and others which only came once in a millennium. Lance looked at his watch, "It's midnight, and we've missed the party. What now?" He said, Angela looked at Maka and smiled, "I think a little party is in order. The gang's still up. I bet so why don't we invite them to our place. You can come too, that is if you're not uncomfortable?" Angela said, Maka smiled, "I would be delighted Mrs. Ryan." Angela touched her shoulder, "Call me Angela from now on Okay?" Lance looked up and smiled then sent a mass text message. The gang replied and the party was soon to begin.


	14. Chapter 14

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 64: Thy King-dom, come Part one: Things they don't need

_Author's note: The following episodes would not have come about if it wasn't for the countless moments I spend with my friend, patron, and most of all muse, Lancetheflamesniper. If it wasn't for him club room would have been a series of one off's with no cohesive storyline or interesting plot. If it wasn't those mornings on the second floor of Rosie's loading frozen food and kibitzing about Genshiken or the delightful e-mail about the first three chapters that gave me hope, you, dear reader, wouldn't have anything to read. I have rarely met a person who can turn my bad day into a good one with just a word or a nod and a wave. Long days and pleasant (and hopefully not sleepless) nights my friend._

_A note on the dialogue: Ka-Tet is a Dark Tower word for people bound by fate or Ka as it is known in the High Speech of the Gunslingers in the series. If you are confused on what exactly is the "High Speech" type it into Wikipedia and they will give you an article._

_Kent, Ohio: sometime in the early evening_

He was doing dining room again. It was always dining room at five. Steven Shroyer age 22 was now cleaning a table, just as a young woman and her friends were sitting down. He called these girls "Cuyahoga Barbies" Girls who ordered steamed broccoli which stunk up the kitchen, girls who looked at calorie counts, and wore high heels, and Hollister sweatpants rolled up in the middle of winter revealing legs that he that even "Safe Auto" wouldn't insure for a penny. These were the girls he wished would just stay in their sorority house and never leave or procreate with their frat boy beau's. The world needed less air heads and in his opinion they were breathing too much oxygen, leaving the normal people with less. "Excuse me." Steven said as the girls moved their phones, with their shiny plastic covers and itsy bitsy keyboards, while he sprayed cleaner on the table cleaning off the remains of a burger and cheese fry. He secretly wanted to tell her to save some oxygen for him, their broccoli was stinking up the back and he had to get out. "Thank you," The girl said smiling, "If I were you, I'd get out of town; Hell is just around the corner and you're in the middle." The girl said her mouth full of gleaming razor sharp teeth. Steven backed away and walked into the kitchen. His friend Lance James was getting a pan of Kent Steaks for the flat top, when he walked in. "You look like you've seen a ghost." Lance said. Steven smiled; he was his best friend after all and was an endless source of inspiration. In his head Steven began replaying the images of a Genshiken episode. It was the one with Kuchiki in a cosplay outfit. Seeing those hairy legs made him forget about his encounter with the girl. Another table had been opened up; he grabbed his cleaner and walked out, humming a tune from "Rent." Somewhere in the din of the dining room Rodney Adkins was singing about cleaning a gun. 'I so wanna get outta here." Steven said to himself and proceeded to spray and wipe, just another Thursday, same as always, nothing exciting just kids being slobs and the din of the dining room to look forward to for the next three hours.

_Tokyo, Japan 12pm_

"God damn it Angela, pick up." Lance Ryan said as he walked towards the Club Room. None of his club mates were answering their phones and that was bad news, usually he would get a hold of somebody but not even Madarame was picking up. Reaching the door he felt an electric tingle go up his spine, "Not good, not good at all. He opened the door and saw his club mates, or they were, they looked more like sleeping statues. Lance walked over to Angela and checked for a pulse, there was one, faint but there. "God, what is going on here? Okay guys enough is enough quit the bullshit and come out of whatever state of relaxation you're in and let's get down to business. Comi-fest is in a few months." A voice spoke from behind him, "They are not here Reaper." It was Kid-kun. "Damn it where are they then? I see their bodies, so they must not be anywhere but here." Lance said, Kid-kun looked at him, "They are just shells, their souls are gone. We got a report of dark activity here and when we arrived they were like this. You weren't notified because you were teaching and father didn't want to interrupt." Lance stared at the OCD case study in the flesh, "Where are they then?" It was then the TV turned on. There was a man with graying hair and glasses; he spoke with a Maine accent. "Howdy there Mr. Ryan, the name is King, Steve King. Don't worry your friends are fine, they're with Me." the TV said Kid-kun looked at Lance, "That's not Stephen King, it's a transmission from the dark realm, we don't know what it is but it took your friends." The man with the Maine accent, who acted like King changed his voice, it was an unfamiliar voice, one of pure evil, and he'd never encountered him before. "Come on Lance, let's play, you win your friends come back, you lose, you give up your powers." Lance looked at the TV as a hand stretched the screen as if it was skin. "Reaper, I hope you know what you're getting into." Kid-Kun said as Lance grasped the hand, "Trust me, when have I been in trouble." he said and was pulled into the TV. "Plenty, reaper, plenty of times, Good luck." Kid-kun said and left the room. Lance blacked out and found himself in an unwanted place, Kent Ohio. "How did the hell did I wind up here, again." He said and pushed himself off Centennial Field. Lance went to the only place he knew he could get information, the Tri Desk.

_Rosie's diner, 6:00 am._

"666?" Steven said pushing the black button with his knee, his voice booming over the speaker system. The mornings were dull on weekends Lance James stood in offside the line looking at Mara read the Akron Beacon Journal and nibbled at some sausage. "So Steve, are you still seeing things that go bump in the night?" Lance said, "Not out loud, Baka!" Steven said and watched as a girl walked up to get her bagel sandwich. This girl was another "Cuyahoga Barbie" as he handed her sandwich she saw her sniff the air. "He's come, the game begins" Steven looked at her, "What?" he said, The girl leapt into the air as five foot wings sprung out of her back. "Holy Shit, no way this is real." Steven said, as the girl got behind the line, he moved towards the flat top slowly. "Now you die!" The girl said, Lance James came from behind and grabbed her hair slamming her face down onto the searing flat top grill. "Nobody and I mean nobody, fucks with my friend, got it?" Lance said as he let go of the demon. Her flesh was seared to the flat top, pulling off she left her entire right side of her face on the grill, and the smell of cooked meat filled the diner. The demon's black gums stood out from dull, grey bone, Mara was still reading the Journal, ignoring the chaos. Then Steven felt a heft in his hand. There was a thirty-eight caliber revolver, Lance was gone. Aiming at the demon, Steven pulled the trigger and watched as the demon's head exploded its brains and blood spattering everywhere. Lance then reappeared; they stared at each other with a bewildered look. "Where did you go?" Steven asked, "I don't know but here comes some more trouble." Before them an advancing demon hoard came from the rotunda entrances, and then exploded, as a mysterious man walked through them. "Nice weapon you got there." Lance Ryan said. The two otaku were confused. "Who are you? What do you mean weapon?" James said as he looked at the stranger. "You, my friend have a rare ability, your friend here is a Technician and you are his Weapon." Lance said, Steven looked at Lance Ryan, "You mean like on 'Soul Eater'?" he asked, The reaper nodded, "I was told by the Tri desk lady to look for you two; My name is Lance Ryan and I am looking for my friends souls, they're here somewhere on campus, where, is mystery to me." "How did Pat know about us and this so called 'rare ability'" Steven said, Lance J was looking at the reaper with a sense of discontent. "You wanna know? Okay, Pat is Shinigami-sama's sister that's why. Now, will you help me or not?" Lance and Steven looked at each other then at the Reaper from another world. "It beats working here!" Steven said and they walked from behind the line. "Have a good morning Mara." Steven said. Mara waved them off, she was too interested in the news to care. "First place we should look is The Student Center." Lance J said. "Why?" Lance R said, "That's where everybody goes."Lance J said. They barely noticed the dark clouds in the sky around the campus.

"You know," Steven said rubbing his arms to keep them warm, "I haven't seen something that disturbing since that French looking dude in that anime put on a cosplay outfit." Lance Ryan Looked at Steven, "You mean Kuchiki?" Lance James looked at Lance Ryan, "Please don't bring that up its too horrific. Steve and I suffer scars from that." Lance Ryan looked at him, Steven noticed he had no whites to his eyes now, they were all black. "Oh, Kuchiki in a cosplay outfit, pissed off yet?" Lance James looked at him, "If you continue I might be." Lance Ryan laughed, "Kuchiki in a cosplay outfit, Kuchiki In a cosplay outfit, Ku," Lance Ryan couldn't get the last part out before Lance James sucker punched him, hard. "I warned you asshole, didn't I?" Lance James said, Lance Ryan got into a fighting stance, "You wanna go, let's go, right now, wage slave, right now." he said, Lance James slugged LR in the gut, bent over LJ kicked Lance Ryan in the groin. Now on the ground, Lance Ryan struggled to get off the ground, when he did, he gave Lance James a roundhouse kick to the face. Lance James hit Lance Ryan in the face again drawing blood from his nose, Lance Ryan slugged Lance James in a furious uppercut to the jaw Steven, knew what was going on, there was dark energy on campus and it was affecting the two Lances. "God damn it stop, right now! This is pointless, if we're gonna find his friends we gotta work together and not let darkness overtake us." Lance Ryan turned to Steven and was about to pounce but returned to normal once the 22 year old Otaku spoke "Be gone ye accursed to the dark realm!" Lance Ryan looked at Steven, "God damn I hate alternate dimensions, how could I be so stupid and let my guard down?" Lance James looked at the Otaku, "You're one hell of a fighter, that's for sure." he said Lance Ryan smiled, "Thanks, you too." They walked on for a bit, then Lance James spoke, "There's a bar in the Student Center, maybe we should get a drink after this is all over." Lance Ryan laughed, "Hell, I need one now!" He said as they entered the brick building and went to the Rathskeller.

The found the bar completely devoid of people, Steve walked behind the bar and looked. "They got Razzmatazz but no god damn blue Hawaiian Punch. How the hell am I supposed to drink it without any damn punch?" Lance Ryan made himself some rum and Coke then another for Lance James. Steven pulled out a bottle of Johnny Walker and sat down. "You know there was a rumor about this place. Betty, that's a manager I work with at Rosie's, said there's a new Student Manager at The Hub who gives people whatever they want. My RA Dave asked for a Porsche, ya know, for a joke? And the next day there's a damn Spyder in the fucking parking lot. I had one of my anime club mates run the plate through the DMV and it was registered to him. A god damn Porsche Spyder in the fucking parking lot no less than twenty-four hours after he left The Hub. I asked him how he got it, and he told me he just had to do a favor for the Manager." Lance Ryan Looked at him, "Good god, I hope it wasn't a hummer." Steven shook his head, "No sex whatsoever, he just had to fuck up the seventh floor bathroom. Now their door is locked and the drunks piss themselves because they forgot their key to get in. Eron doesn't even know he did it, which is good because I like Dave, used to anyway." Lance Ryan looked at him, "Why do you say that?" Steven took a swig out of the Johnny Walker bottle, "Because, before he was a nice guy and now he is an egotistical dick. We had a murder on campus recently did you know that too? Some girl walked into the student center, one of these Cuyahoga Barbie types, and Quizno's is shutting down. She asked for a veggie and cheese sandwich and the manger gave her one, hot and everything, in less than twenty seconds, all she had to do was pull a prank on some chick." Lance Ryan looked at him, "Go on." Steven continued, "About five weeks later I was watching Fox 8 at ten because my brother is a dick and won't watch anything but the news, and wouldn't you know it some reporter is standing in Centennial Field more than a few yards away from my dorm and talking about a murder. This chick the sandwich girl was pulling a prank on stabbed the ever loving shit out of her with a knife. Forty-eight times in the chest and neck. The bitch was nearly headless." Lance Ryan was shocked, "You think the manager has something to do with it?" Steven took a deep swig and exhaled, "Yeah, I mean this shit doesn't happen in Kent often and when it does, people notice." Lance Ryan looked at the two otaku, "If he is what he is I think we should split up and look for him." Steven took another swig, "Fine by me, I search the first floor, you, the second, Lance, the third." Steven said and hopped of his chair. Lance James finished his rum and coke and walked toward the door, "Let's get going, we got a lot of Student Center to check." and they set off not knowing what they would find.

The first floor was as empty as the bar; the trickle of the fountain was all that was there giving Steven a sense of eerie calm. He had felt this way before walking home from anime club or the Kiva after a good movie, the sense that something was watching you but yet you expected that person to be there anyway. Walking through the entrance into The Hub his stomach quivered, a sign he was hungry. Despite some theories, alcohol was not a filling breakfast item and his mom's girlfriend always said never drink on an empty stomach. Walking toward Quizno's he heard the buzz of the blender's in Ambrosia, turning he saw nobody was operating them. "Okay, odd, but then again you love surrealism. Cool it Shroyer, just cool it." Steven walked on to the front of the restaurant and looked at the menu, "Hmm, Prime Rib and Peppercorn sounds good, maybe a couple Italian Torpedoes for later, I wonder how much is on my dining plan?" It was then he heard a voice of a young man, "One large Peppercorn on white and two Italian Torpedoes, coming up." This man looked different, not like the student managers at Rosie's with their gold shirts, and plastic gloves. "Double meat for our best customer, would you like something to drink Steven?" The manager said, "Wait, how did you know I eat here all the time?" Steven asked, The Manager smirked, and "I know all about you, you also have your eye on a whole bunch of books by a certain author, Laymon I believe?" "Yeah," Steven said "Richard Laymon, he is one of my favorite authors, probably the best horror author nobody's heard of. But I have to save up for a car first, that's job number one. Besides about half of his books are out of print." The manager handed Steven a book, "Out are the Lights" was the title. "Damn, this is the UK edition, Warner books trimmed the shit out of this book, and it's in great shape too, better than those sellers on Amazon." The Manager spoke, "It and all his other books are yours look!" He said. Turning around, Steven saw boxes upon boxes of books. Inside were all the books from his wish lists on Amazon, Dean Koontz, Edward Lee, and Carlton Mellick the Third were there. "There's a catch somewhere, I know there is. Nothing this good comes without some sort of bullshit offer, what is it, my credit report, PC Professor?" Steven said, "No catch, more like a problem that needs to be solved," The Manager said "You see, there is a man from somewhere else here, a reaper. You kill him; the books are yours simple as that." Steven looked at the manager, "I don't know, the only things I kill are bugs and the occasional team mate on 'Fire Emblem', I don't think I can do this." he said, "Go on, Take this knife, I know you need those books, and trust me you won't get caught." Steven shrugged, "Okay, but if I get lethal injection I am going to have my brother sue the school." Steven said, The Manager handed him a bag with his food, Steven handed him his Flashcard. "Oh no payment for the food, after all, what would KSU's Quizno's be without you?" The Manager smiled, "Great, I didn't catch your name by the way?" The manager smiled, "Gaunt, Leland K. Gaunt. Bet you can't guess what the K stands for?" Steven turned, "It doesn't matter, I gotta go to the second floor and by the time I'm done there I'll stop giving a shit." They both laughed. Steven waved goodbye and walked up the steps to the second floor, butcher knife at ready.

Lance James hated the third floor, nothing of interest except conference rooms and a fancy restaurant that didn't fit his budget. Lance was on a diet, one meal, five dollars and only once a day. His theory was Man wasn't meant to eat three meals a day, it just wasn't natural. Steve subscribed to it a bit, although he needed a Quizno's fix after a few days of Rosie's chicken tenders and homemade grilled cheese made on his brother's sandwich maker. Steve referred to it as the "Kent State Diet" and so far it worked for both of them. It was when he finished walking through the winding hallways of the third floor he heard the sound of a band, from the restaurant. Walking in, the scent of prime rib filled the air. There on a stage was Sango from "Inuyasha" dressed in a sequined gown singing a song about how sooner or later she always gets her man. "Ah Mr. James we have a table reserved in the VIP section for you. " The host said, Lance sat down and was presented with a medium rare prime rib, fresh horseradish on the side and a loaded baked potato. "Oh god, I don't think I can afford this. This must cost about fifty, sixty dollars. I am on a budget. "A voice spoke to him, "It's free, my treat. We all can't live on ramen can we?" The Manager was wearing a black tuxedo this time with a white dress shirt and black tie. "There's gotta be some kind of," Lance was cut off; "Catch, no, no catch. Eat up while it's still hot." Lance began wolfishly diving into the food, "Beautiful isn't she? Sango I mean. You know, I can make sure you two get together, maybe score a home run in that tiny dorm of yours." The manager said, Lance gulped, "I don't think so. I have a girlfriend in Berea." The Manager smirked, "Now come on, why go for top sirloin when you can have prime rib, I'm sure this girl is some kind of Cleveland suburb floozy who will screw for front row tickets to see Paul McCartney." Lance smiled, "No thanks, sir, but Jennifer is the only one I need. Thanks for the meal though. It was great, what's your name by the way?" The Manager smirked, "Gaunt, Leland K. Gaunt, and I really think you should reconsider. It is, after all, the cost of your prime rib dinner here." Lance smiled, "Nice try but I am smarter than your average customer. By the way, Steve King called he wants his character back. "He said and walked towards the elevator, "Well, I guess your friend isn't as much of a King fan as I thought. Nor is he a Genshiken fan." Lance turned "What do you mean?" Leland laughed, "You obviously have read 'Needful Things,' but do you know something else Lance James? I am not Leland Gaunt; you should know that the K stands for something significant." Lance whispered one name, "Kuchiki? Oh shit, I gotta find that reaper guy before Steve does." he said and raced inside the elevator, pushing the second floor button frantically. "I'll see you and Jennifer soon, Lance James, sleep with one eye open." Kuchiki said and let out a maniacal laugh.

Lance Ryan walked into The Governance Chambers, the room was dimly lit save for a few lights focused on a table. Lance knew there was something wrong here. "If this is the main gathering place on campus, then where the hell are the students?" He said and then heard footsteps behind him. "This place holds many memories for me here." Steven said. Lance Ryan spun around, "Jesus, you scared me. Did you find that Student Manager." he said, Steven continued as if Lance had said nothing, "I ran for director of business operations for Kent Interhall Council. Just me and two other people, were running and even though I gave the best speech so they say, I lost. You see Reaper I never get what I want in life, Power, wealth, notoriety, none of it came to me. But today, today is different. "He said and pulled out the knife, "Oh shit, Steve put it down." Lance Ryan said, "I want those books, I need those books, and if it means taking an innocent life, then, may god strike me down this instant!" He laughed and raised the knife, however it wasn't god that struck him down, but his friend knocking the knife out of his hands and tackling him. "Get off me damn you! I want those books, I want those books!" Steven shouted. Lance looked at the reaper. "The manager is Kuchiki ripping off 'Needful Things' he must have found Steve's weakness." Lance Ryan looked at Steven who was foaming at the mouth and gnashing his teeth, "I must have those books, get off of me damn it." Steven said. Lance Ryan waved his hand in front of Steven, "You are under a demon's influence, if the real Steven Shroyer is here, and I command this demon to let him go now!" He shouted as Steven went limp, Kuchiki laughed from the desks at the front. "Well played reaper. However if you're looking for your friend's souls, they are in another building. As for me, my job is done here at Kent. Take care of yourself, reaper." Kuchiki said and walked towards the exit, Lance Ryan chased after him but the demon had vanished into a puff of grey brimstone scented smoke that wafted into the hallway. "Help me get him out of here. We need to go somewhere else." Lance James looked at him, "Where?" The reaper shook his head, "I don't know." Lance James hefted Steven over his shoulder and they walked outside. Looking around they noticed freshly fallen snow, Risman Plaza had disappeared into a winding mountain road, where a guard rail had been broken. "This isn't Kent." Lance Ryan said, Lance James pointed to the sign, "Welcome to Kent" the sign said in plain non- descript letters on a white background, the state of Ohio's seal in the middle. "I am picking up something." Lance James said, "Is it good?" Lance Ryan said. "I think we I may have located somebody. One of your friends, I hope. Whoever it is, they're down that hill." Lance James said. Lance Ryan trudged down the hill, his companions in tow, hoping to see a familiar face.

Kousaka woke up to find himself strapped to a bed; in between his legs was a block of wood. "You're awake." the thing that was Kasukabe said. She wore a plain outfit, almost Amish like with black hair almost to her shoulder, and it looked like she had put on a few pounds too. "Saki-Chan, is that you?" Kousaka said, Kasukabe smiled, and raised a sledgehammer, "This will keep you from running away from me." A demonic voice spoke out of the once familiar throat. "No!" he screamed as the hammer came down and broke his ankle. His cries of pain could be heard from a distance as far as twenty miles, somewhere in that distance, three otaku were approaching, hoping they wouldn't encounter anything else, they would be wrong. For a man in a blood red cloak sat on a throne of skulls in the basement of the house, watching on close circuit TV's the 8 otaku in the world a man from Maine created, and the three who were arriving. "Come, you three. You may be no Ka-Tet but you'll do." The Crimson King said, grabbed a bowl of beetles for the show that was about to begin.


	15. Chapter 15

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 65: Thy King-dom come, part 2: Chika's other side

_For Flamesniper and his Otaku Posse- enjoy Ohayocon and consider this a post convention treat. Your friend -Steve_

Steven awoke to cold, bitter cold, never had he wanted to get warm in his entire life. Yet when he awoke from his Reaper induced sleep, he noticed he was not walking but being carried.

"Fuck, how long have I been out?" he asked, Lance James set Steven on his feet; the snow came up to his ankles.

"Two minutes, maybe more. My watch stopped as soon as we entered the Student Center." he said, Steven looked at the house on the horizon.

"This isn't Kent is it?" he said, Lance Ryan nodded.

"Somebody is screwing with reality, this is Kent but it looks like Colorado. The house must be another King, thing." he said.

"Oh this is familiar," Steven said, "Annie Wilkes from 'Misery lived in a house just like this one. Funny though, the movie had no 'Dark Tower' connections, book seven didn't come out until 2004. The movie was released when I was a young'un" Lance looked at him.

"You from Steubenville?" the reaper asked, "No, Coshocton, however if you take I-77 to I-70 towards Wheeling south you can get there in a reasonable amount of time, say two, three hours. LJ here is from there though." Steven said.

"How long have you two known each other?" Lance Ryan asked.

"Going on two years now, haven't met a guy like him in my life, and I have met some screwed up people." Steven said. Lance looked at Steven.

"Why did you make a mention about 'The Dark Tower'?" The reaper asked.

"Well isn't obvious," Steven asked, "There is a god damn seven story pillar sticking out of the middle of the house. Surely you must have read the 'Dark Tower' series?" Lance Ryan shook his head; maybe there was some sort of cloaking mechanism on the tower.

"I don't see it, nor do I understand how this fits in with anything the dark realm." Steven turned to Lance.

"Look, let's get something straight here okay, I am Kent State's leading, Stephen King expert with a primary focus in the 'Dark Tower' if I wasn't so blinded by my greed, I would have caught the guy masquerading as Leland Gaunt from 'Needful Things.' One thing you need to know Mr. Ryan is that I am obsessive compulsive when it comes to collections, if there is one DVD I don't own in a series I buy it regardless of price, books are the same way. Thus when he presented me with those books I went for it. This will be the only time we will have that problem. "Steven said, as Lance bent down to look at five humps in the snow.

"Okay, what now?" Lance brushed away the snow and found in a pile five people familiar to the Kent State expert.

"Susannah, Eddie, Jake, Roland, and Oy, looks like their quest ended here. No going back to the beginning for Roland, thank god."

"How do you know these people?" Lance Ryan asked,

"For an entire winter break I read the last four books in the series, and let me tell ya brother, it wasn't easy. I gave up a lot of movie watching for those books, but boy was it worth it. These people are the main characters; I guess the Crimson King got to them first." Steven said. Lance Ryan touched the gunslinger's body and felt a surge of power go up his arm like a shock.

"Ok now I see the tower, " Lance said, as the bodies dissolved into a crimson liquid, "What's going on?" Steve smirked, "Looks like Roland wanted to pass on his gift to you. Funny, all LJ and I had to do was pick up a book." Moving closer to the house, Lance wondered how much the two young men knew and what else this so called King had in store.

Angela Lovett had one fear, drowning, nothing came even close to the fear she had of drowning, even when she went to the beach with the gang. She had overcome this fear but nothing could have prepared her for the sound of water rushing into the small room she was encased in. Startled Angela looked around, glassed in, and trapped like a rat with no escape or hope of survival. "

Hey!" a voice said, turning around she was greeted by a clown with bright red hair and a painted white face. "You're gonna love it here Angela, you know why? They float, they all float here." Angela remembered the line, clearly, and the clown too.

"You're bloody Pennywise from 'It' aren't you? Yeah I know you, my husband made me watch that damn movie one night." she said, Pennywise laughed.

"You're a smart girl, but I'm afraid that," Pennywise's head exploded before he could finish.

"I'm not impressed, especially by this 'The Cell' rip off. Angela moved through the waist deep water and shot open the door with a bolt of energy, it was then she heard Kousaka scream. Running towards the room he saw the woman who looked like a mixture of Kasukabe and Kathy Bates, smash his left ankle. "Oh you, bloody cunt, you've done it now!" Angela fired a shot at the woman's head, and saw Anne Wilkes collapse to the floor Rushing to the bed and, touching Kousaka's shattered ankle she heard the sound of bones crunching and knitting back together, and began to untie him. "What is going on?" She asked,

"I don't know Angela-chan but, I feel there may be others here." Kousaka said, it was then they heard two screams from one room. "That sounds like Saki-Chan. Maybe, Madarame too, come on!" Kousaka said. Angela raced down the hall not knowing what the rooms might hold.

"Well, here we are, casa de King. Anybody wanna turn back and run screaming for their mommies? Now is the time to do it friends because if you don't, you may never have the chance." Steven said getting ready to kick the door down, Lance raised his hand. "What now?" Steve said.

"I sense a dark presence in this house. I think we should approach with caution, not just burst through the door like a bull at the gate." He said, Steven growled.

"Look damn it, I am in charge here, okay, not you, so if you want to be some inbred meth-head shithook go on but I made myself perfectly clear when I said that I'm the only hope you and your friends have. Now if you excuse me, LJ you know what to do." Lance James turned into his gun form; Steven held it with both hands. "On my count we break in, One, Two, Three!" Steven shouted and broke the door off its hinges. Steven walked inside and surveyed the house. The outside looked like any normal house one would see in Coshocton's ritzy districts; the inside was a different story. Inside, the place looked like the inside of an army barrack, a single skylight let in one singular beam of sunlight leaving a square pattern in the middle. The roof was corrugated metal and the floor was a dusty grey concrete affair. Along this wide open space there were a row of 8 doors, each with names, most of them Japanese one was an English name but this mattered little to Steven. "Looks like your friends might be in these doors." Steven felt a hand clasp his shoulder. Spinning around he saw the familiar face that had scared the hell out of millions.

"Beep, Beep, Steven!" Pennywise said, Steven pointed the gun square at him with his shaky hands.

"Back the fuck up bubba, back the fuck up." Steven said, Pennywise laughed, and once again, his head exploded, this time the other clown had got a double shot from two reapers. Lance James turned back into his human form, "Jesus you, bloody can't kill these things." Angela said as the husband raced over to his wife.

"Oh babe, I'm so glad you are okay. Nice to see you Matoko-san, I swear to god this has to be the strangest thing I have ever been in." Lance said, Steven coughed, "Oh, Angela Lovett, Matoko Kousaka, this is Steven Shroyer and Lance James." Angela smirked,

"The blond one's a catch but the one with the brown hair needs some work, maybe some plastic surgery?" Steven gave her the Ohio State bird.

"I'll have you know you limey cunt; we are your only hope here. I am a technician and LJ here is my weapon." Steven said.

"Lovely mouth you got there love, tell me do you kiss your mum with it." Steven fired back, "Yeah and if your husband here isn't doing it for ya, I have plenty of room in my dorm to rock your world." Angela looked at him with her hands on her hips,

"Four words: Is it in yet?" Steven seethed with rage turned to his friend, immediately he pointed his gun at her.

"One more word bitch and I'll blow your shit away!" Lance Ryan stepped between the two.

"God damn it put that thing away. You said we got to work together and you're ruining that chance." he said, LJ turned into a human and Steven reached into his pockets and pulled out two pills, "SSRI break. Bi-Polar and Aspergers, it's a bitch." he said and dry swallowed the pills.

"Great, we got a bleeding pill popper as our leader." Angela shouted just as the screams came back into earshot. "Room 2008," Steven said and walked towards a splintered, and weathered door, "Your friends are behind that door." He said and opened the door revealing a 1995 Oldsmobile Serra similar to Steven's piece of shit in the parking lot at Kent. There huddled in the front seats in front of an old farm house was Madarame and Kasukabe. Blocking their exit was a foaming, rabid St. Bernard, "Lance, to me!" Steven shouted trying his best gunslinger imitation, LJ didn't know what he meant but he turned into an Uzi, he wanted Steve to have a variety of guns. "Yo, Cujo, here boy, here boy, come and get some of this 230 pound otaku!" he said, Cujo turned and began racing towards Steven. "Get your friends now!" he shouted and began to fire as the dog was about to pounce on him. The dog let out a yelp and fell to the ground, Steven laughed as he turned the dog into a pile of fur and bloody red meat. Kousaka opened the door, and pulled Kasukabe out, she held him close weeping into his neck as he brushed her hair. Madarame opened the driver's side and raced towards his four club mates.

"I don't know what the hell is going on but I am sure glad that guy with the glasses showed up. I had to listen to two baka's on the radio talk to some woman named Paula Deen, and she wouldn't shut up about butter!" He said as he and LJ walk towards them.

"They could use a trip to Akibara though; I don't think blue cotton t-shirts and jeans are in." Kasukabe said, Steven grunted.

"Great, just what I need an imported Cuyahoga Barbie. It's not enough lord that you made them take a picture with me a Friday morning now you send me to rescue one from 'The Land Of the Rising Sun. God why do you mock me so god damn much." Lance James put a hand on Steve.

"Enough pal, "Steven continued.

"I mean Matt get's an iPod Nano for Christmas and a god damn GPS and what do I get? All I got was Clothes and books and a few smatterings of DVD's. Why? What does that baka have that I don't?" "Enough!" LJ Shouted.

"Sorry it's just that I hate Cuyahoga Barbies." Steven said. Madarame looked at him.

"Cuyahoga Barbie? What's that?" Steven cleared his throat, LJ, knew that Steven was about to go into educator mode.

"A Cuyahoga Barbie is a Kent State student who is ditzy, usually wears expensive clothing brands like Hollister or American eagle, and is usually dresses like an expensive whore. Another name is Sororitutes, because most of them live in sorority houses and watch 'The Hills' and want to get 23 plastic surgeries like that fucking slut Heidi Montag. Clear it up for ya?" Steven asked. Madarame looked at him.

"So they are America's version of Sassahara's sister?" Lance Ryan nudged him.

"It's not nice to speak ill of the dead." he said. Madarame chuckled. Walking out the door Steven heard a sound.

"They're a few years off, but it looks like somebody has a taste for terror." Lance Ryan looked at him. "Why?"

"Because I hear KC and the Sunshine Band, and somebody is taking Carrie to the prom."

"I look fucking ridiculous, what the hell is this?" Tanaka said as he looked at his blue leisure suit and bell bottoms, Ohno was wearing a white dress that flared out and made light of her large breasts.

"Class of 1977, senior prom, weren't we in 2010 a while ago?" Ohno asked, around them people were doing "The Hustle" and other dances of the time, just as a woman walked on stage.

"If I may have your attention please, It is now time to announce the winners of this year's homecoming King and Queen." she said the people clapped.

"Our King this year is, Tommy Ross!" the woman announced, a young man made his way up on stage, his hair was in a perm. "Our queen this year is, Carrie White!" The people clapped again, Ohno watched as a meek looking girl walked up on stage and was given her tiara and bouquet of roses. She looked happy, that was until the pigs blood rained down on her. Soaking wet with the red blood, she looked as if she had lost on a Japanese game show, and had shamed her family. Then her back stiffened and her eyes became fixed in a steely gaze. Doors slammed, locking audibly, the fire hose then flew out of its emergency holding spot and sprayed water on the electrical equipment, sparking the crepe paper decorations and setting the place ablaze. People blindly, like sheep raced for the door knowing they couldn't get out.

"What do we do?" Ohno asked, it was then she felt a hand on her shoulder, there, standing was a brown haired otaku holding a shotgun, and dressed in a blue Kent State Dinning Services shirt.

"Come with me if you want to live!" Steve said Ohno got up and dragged Tanaka with her, towards a white light. Soon they were in the middle of this house of horrors.

"Ohno, Tanaka, over here!" Lance shouted the two otaku raced toward their American friend. "Lance-san, I have said this before but I'll say it again, I am glad to see you!" Lance nodded as LJ and Steven walked towards the group. "How did we end up in 1977?" she asked, Steven smirked.

"Simple really, some dark entity is remaking Stephen King novels and turning them into reality. You were in 1977 because the demon couldn't find any disco songs in his files from 1976, the year the movie version of 'Carrie' was released. You see that sign on the floor?" Lance Ryan looked down, "North Central Postronics? What the hell is that?" he said Steven looked at him.

"In the 'Dark Tower' series they make all the technology for The Crimson King, I guess they don't have an updated music library. These are all sort of computer recreations. The Crimson King has very little powers due to age so he uses this shit; thankfully I know how to break it down."

Angela looked at him, "That's all well and good, but what about Oguie and Sassahara? Who knows where they might be, they could be dead?" Steven looked at her the group.

"Let me ask you this: does your friend, Ms. Oguie, like to draw or write?" Lance nodded.

"Then she looks as if she could be a qualifier for the Beaumont room. That's the next to the last door." Steven said. Lance looked at him as LJ turned into a pump action shotgun he tucked it under his arm. "What do you mean Beaumont?" he said.

Steven turned, "Beaumont as in, Thad Beaumont, as in the guy with the alternate half, George Stark. The same George Stark that goes around killing people in the book 'The Dark Half'! God, do I have to explain everything around here." Steven walked towards the door and turned the knob, knowing very well what to expect.

Chika Oguie a while ago had written a story, a story in the vein of Torture porn films like "Hostel" and "Saw" This story revolved around her Genshiken club mates, particularly the one she was married to now. As she sat strapped to a chair she saw another version of her, this one was not the one with dark hair tied into a pony tail but one instead long flowing hair, but the face was the same. On the bed, handcuffed to the posts was her husband. Right now his wife was shoving needles underneath his fingernails causing him to scream loudly. Occasionally this other Oguie would let out a giggle. Oguie couldn't scream at her to stop, her husband couldn't see her, nor could he hear her. She was watching in a room with a one way mirror, somewhere else in the bedroom of the furnished apartment. Rocking side to side in her chair, she tried to break her bonds. She knew what was next; it was the branding iron with the words she wrote. Why did she have such a twisted mind? Portishead's "Only You" was playing from the speakers, a far cry from the Madonna song she had picked for her story. Yet this was the song she had listened to when she had made love to Sassahara at home that first time, somebody knew her quite well. Then she heard the sound of a doorknob rattling, a voice spoke behind it.

"Fucking thing won't open, "she had never heard this voice before, it spoke again "I am going to blow it off stand back." she covered her ears as the doorknob came skittering across the floor. The door fell down next, what Chika saw was a relief. "

Help!" she screamed Lance Ryan began untying her straps as the gang watched the torture scene.

"Fucking one way mirrors, stand back ya'll you might get hurt." Steven said and fired a shot into the mirror, shattering it; the other Oguie turned and looked at Steven.

"Who the fuck, are you?" she asked Steven smiled, "I'm your fucking daddy that's who I am, now say goodnight to your Uncle Stevie!" He said as she raced towards him, Steven fired one shot hitting her in the chest. Blood spurt from the wound, as she began to crawl towards the shattered mirror. Lance James turned back into a human and looked at Steven.

"You want me to do it?" he said, Steven nodded. Lance stepped through and picked up the dark half by the hair and slammed her head down onto a jagged fragment of mirror still standing. "I'm to believe that this guy here is your husband?" Steven asked. Oguie looked at him.

"Yes, could you please," Steven silenced her, "I was gonna do it anyway hon." Steven untied Sassahara and sat him up on the bed; Angela came through the mirror and began healing his wounds, removing the needles using only her sprit energy. It was then the phone rang, the caller ID read "Unknown" and the number was unlisted. Steven picked up the phone; "Hello?" a voice spoke.

I wish to speak to the leader of this Ka-tet. Am I to believe you are him?" Steven knew who it was,

"Well my best friend, how are you buddy? Things pretty dry up around your room, nothing to do besides fuck with the innocent?" Steven said. The voice spoke again,

"Are you the leader of this Ka-tet yes or no?" the voice said. Steven smirked.

"That's my business, CK. You know the power of the elimination process is a wonderful thing, as soon as I get out of this room, I'll hunt you down and blow your ass to kingdom come."

The Crimson King laughed, "You are no match for me. I could destroy you in my sleep." Steven spoke.

"Well you know what I think, I think you wanted to do these things to me, isn't that right Matthew?" The Crimson King laughed, "You know I prefer Matt." Steven smiled.

"Aw, well isn't that a shame, now I can tell these people who you are now. You wanted to try this shit on me bro but you know why you didn't, because deep in your heart you know there is some nasty mother fuckers in this world and I happen to be one of them. I'm coming for ya." The Crimson King made a familiar giggle, "Sleep with one eye open." Steven said and hung up the phone.

"Why did you call him bro? What aren't you telling us Steven?" Lance Ryan said. Steven sighed.

"I guess now's the time, I know the Crimson King and the Dark Tower so well not because I am a King fan. It's because the Crimson King and I are related, by blood. The Crimson King is my brother Matthew. I knew he was up to some shit when he moved in with my dad; my dad is an agent for the Crimson King. My mom's girlfriend Jen purged that part out of me through meditation and special thought techniques. As my powers went away, Matt's grew stronger, fostered by my father. All the hatred of my classmates the teasing, dad never let him forget. Matt's goal is simple; destroy me and the world that rejected him. He decided to use Kent as a starting point, how you guys got involved is a mystery to me. One name is high on my list though, the person who might have dragged your friends here my brother used to type in out chats on Facebook, kinship, kingfish?" Lance Ryan looked at Steven, "Kishen, not possible he's dead." Steven smirked.

"Not if my brother doesn't want him to be. My guess is he brought him back to life just to bring you all here. "Lance Ryan looked at Steven as he walked out the door.

"Where are you going?" Steven looked at them, "Me and LJ are going to kill him, if you want to come along that's fine but I do not hold myself responsible for what you will happen to you." he said, Lance smiled, "You're forgetting one thing." Steven looked at him.

"What?" Lance Ryan had a smirk on his face, "You've got the best demon reaper this side of Portage County and his otaku posse. If Kishen is still alive then we have a mutual enemy. You need us." Steven smiled.

"Mister, you gotta deal." The otaku posse and their leader followed the two Dining services workers out the door. The Crimson King watched them on the screen and held his stuffed groundhog close, whispering in its ear. Setting it on the floor with his other toys, Matthew E Shroyer AKA the Crimson King began to set up his army for the final battle.


	16. Chapter 16

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 66: Thy King-dom comes (part three): The Crimson King

Never before in the history of the dark realm had there been anything like the Crimson King, Lance Ryan was walking down a long hallway ruminating on that fact. There were four things you don't do: You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't poke a sleeping dog with a stick, and most of all you never piss off Lance Ryan. Every dark spirit from Kuchiki to more recently Bacchi-gu had learned this the hard way, mostly by having their bodies destroyed in horrific ways that no man could comprehend. Yet he was unsure about Steven, his leadership qualities seemed more dictatorial than heroic, and as he walked along side Angela he expressed his concern.

"That guy scares me." Angela said. Lance nodded.

"I have a feeling he's got a hair trigger, if we should put our lives in his hands what's to say he won't kill us?" Steven stopped walking and turned around.

You got something to say Ryan? If you are talking shit, you best do it to my face, otherwise shut up because the Crimson King is just down this hall and to our right." Lance looked at Steven.

"It's nothing. Me and Angela think you're a little unstable that's all." Steven's eyes grew wide.

"Unstable? You think I'm unstable, why, because I am a little crazy with weapons, because I am a little cocky when it comes to this situation. Let me tell you this bub, I was born this way, you think I'm bad wait till you see the Crimson King. He has been a pain in my ass for 22 years and just now I have got the chance to stop him. All these years purging myself of that side of me has lead me to this, it is my destiny. Frankly you and your wife's opinions to me are worth less than two squirts of piss from a dead dog's dick. I suggest that if you think that I'm so god damn unstable that you turn around and leave, go back to your world and let me and LJ handle this thing ourselves. You and your posse are holding me down anyway. "Lance looked at Steven.

"I'm sorry it's just that well, I have been so used to being in command that I don't know how to relinquish control. " Steven smirked.

"You got control issues, and so does my grandmother. I understand how you feel, and respect that. I am just warning you now, if you want to back off then back off because once we reach his chambers there's no turning back." Steven said and walked on the gang followed with him. In front of them was a door, on it a picture of Zac Efron from a Rolling Stone cover was plastered amongst many other males with no shirts. "Even in his own realm he has to make everything gay." Steven said and turned the knob. The room was similar to the previous rooms which held the gang prisoner, only they had titles like, "Lab" or "Barracks" Steven could smell the scent of cling free in the air a sign that he was nearby. Lance James was exploring the foyer and opened the door that said "Lab." and walked inside with Madarame in tow.

The Lab was like a scene from a dystopia themed Sci-Fi novel; Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" came to mind. Madarame looked at a computer screen that showed endless amounts of data, scenes from game shows and news reports flickered in rapid succession. The computer itself was hooked up to a series of wires that were fixed to caps, caps that were attached to heads in incubation tanks. Lance James looked around, he recognized every face, and some of them had now accompanied him on this journey. Madarame looked into a tank and was shocked to see his own self inside.

"Steve? I think you should see this?" LJ said Steven walked inside and looked,

"Aw piss, this isn't good." he said Lance Ryan walked behind him.

"What the hell is this place, some sort of cloning facility?" Lance looked around and noticed his friend's clones drifting in a blissful hibernation. "I only thought Dean Koontz wrote about this," Steven said.

"I was reading his 'Frankenstein' trilogy before I ended up here. He must have done some research." Lance looked around,.

"What is your brother trying to accomplish by making clones of all these people?" Steven smirked.

"What any evil genius would do. You see that computer there? It's sending all the stuff he's interested in to their brains, game shows, old news reports. Its stuff he liked before he came here. He hated my otaku lifestyle, how I chose Anime club over spending time with him. How I had my first true friend in nearly forever because of it. Now I guess he is going to create a new world, one without otaku, a world where everyone is boring, hell on earth basically."

Steven said as the others filed in, it was then the door slammed and a voice spoke from the rafters.

"How right you are brother dear. I'm so glad you could make it, however I didn't expect you to bring so many people. Edward, Jacob, seize the interlopers." Suddenly two familiar faces appeared from the darkness. It was his brother's favorite literary characters, Jacob Black and Edward Cullen. Both in black jeans with no shirts, Jacob put Lance Ryan in a choke hold, while Edward had seized Angela. More men came out, MMA fighters and superheroes came single file and grabbed Lance Ryan's club mates. It was when Forrest Griffin tried to take Lance James that all hell broke loose. Grabbing a hold of Forest's wrist he flung him over his back smacking him into the concrete floor, his skull making an audible crack as it hit and blood trickled out of the wound. The Army turned their attention to LJ. The soldiers stared at him.

"What are you ass holes waiting for, he killed your brother. Get him!" The Crimson King shouted as Lance stood back .

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Steven shouted, Lance James Smirked.

"Remember the rotunda?" Steven's eyes grew wide, his mouth turned up into a little smirk, he knew what was about to happen and the Crimson King was going to have a front row seat. Lance clasped both his hands together; sparks began to form as he separated his hands. Tendrils of electricity began to form into a ball; growing larger then he let out a roar and let them have it. The men were knocked on their ass, but still managed to get up, and stumble about.

"God damn it I built you better than that get him! Stop dicking around!" The Crimson King shouted and the men moved. He fired his electric shock at ones head. The Pro Wrestler's head caught on fire before another shot caused it to explode. The men began to crowd around him, Lance had a plan for this, and set his sights on the tanks. Channeled all his energy into one gigantic ball and let it loose, knocking the men down and exploding the tanks. Water and Chemicals flooded the floor, and then he did his ultimate kill. Firing one bolt of electricity at the floor the army began to shake and convulse. Bodies exploded in an orgy of intestines and other organs, the computer that transmitted data blew up setting the place on fire. The smell was horrific. The Crimson King jumped down his bright red cloak fluttering. He surveyed the damage, he had lost his entire action figure army, and one man killed a supreme fighting force. Angela pulled Edward's severed hand off her shoulder and stood next to the others who were covered in blood and viscera.

"Next time you meet some loons Lance dearie, make sure we all have ponchos." Angela said as she watched Kasukabe pull a piece of small intestine out of her hair.

"Well played, reaper, however even though my army has been defeated, I am sure you're all no match for what else I have planned. Like that furry thing next to my brother's leg for example." the Crimson King said as Steven Looked down and felt the Groundhog's teeth sink into his ankle. Steven screamed, Lance James tried to shoot it but it moved too fast. It later moved on to the gang, biting them. "So sorry brother dear but I can't let you or your friends here win. That groundhog's saliva has been adapted as a heavy sedative. In a few moments you'll all be asleep. Don't worry you'll wake up, in a pine box!" The Crimson King let out a high pitched giggle and rubbed his hands together as Steven collapsed to the floor.

"Yes my friends sleep the sleep of the just for when you wake you will no longer be of this world anymore!" Angela collapsed in Lances arms, his legs gave out forcing him to sink to the ankle deep water and pass out. Lance James saw the groundhog race towards him; quickly he shot him leaving the fury body to float in the water as his comrades were in a deep and almost surely fatal sleep. "Damn you, you bastard!" Lance James shouted, the Crimson King giggled.

"Aw, did the little otaku miss out on all the fun. Sorry but I have no qualm with you. I have completed my job and now must tend to the shattered remains of my lab. You know you could always join me? I could use an extra pair of hands, replacing all these clones is going to be hard work.

"Lance shouted, "I'll never work for you, never!" The Crimson King took off his hood and stared at Lance, he looked like a thinner version of Steven with pale skin and blood red eyes. His hair was brown and wavy, and he wore a necklace with large ruby in the middle.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." The Crimson King said and walked off, his cloak making a sloshing sound in the water.

"I'm surprised. I really didn't expect that to come out of your mouth." Lance said. the Crimson King stopped.

"What are you talking about?" he said.

Lance laughed, "You're not an otaku yet you quote a line from one of the greatest fan boy movie series in the world. You baka, you just quoted Darth Vader from 'Star Wars.' You don't know us well do you? Otaku is Japanese for fan boy; it is their equivalent of a nerd here in the states. If you hate otaku so much then why are you quoting 'Star Wars' unless you were in the closet, you are an otaku in your heart I know it!" The Crimson King turned and raced over to Lance ad picked him up by his throat, his long pointy nails were digging into his neck.

"I despise your kind, and all they stand for. My brother once spoke of an era where there would be no sports, only artistic endeavors. Where man would co-exist as brothers, no need for war, no need for money, people would go on faith alone. This utopia is what I dread; I would be the only one in the crowd an outsider if you will. I would be lost in a sea of Manga reading, DS playing, Anime watching freaks with no hope for the future except to explore what I dread. Steven always saw himself as some sort of Christ like otaku figure who would lead a revolution against the perceived injustices in the world. Out of order there would be chaos beyond imagination, and Steven would lead that chaos. I am doing this world and those interlopers's world a favor and ending it all. It is better to have the world my way than no way at all. Now tell me Otaku, who's the villain here?" He said and dropped Lance to the ground. "It is my suggestion you return to Rosie's immediately I can only freeze time for so long. You cannot win otaku so go on, live your life. If you want I can tell your future just by looking into my necklace here. Do you want to know what your future holds? I see you and your beloved Jennifer, she an ordained Methodist minister and you a brilliant psychologist. You'll live in Ohio, nowhere near Steubenville of course. You'll both bring comfort to millions of people and in three years you will have a baby boy. You'll name him Steven after your friend, and we will meet again. Oh yes we will meet again but under different circumstances then what we are in now. Look for me; look for me, in the year of our lord 2023. That is all, your future in this world as I can see," before the Crimson King finished a steel pole jutted out of his mouth. Lance had impaled the Crimson king with a piece of fallen metal. The king's body dissolved, flesh melting into a floating mass on the soaked floor. Seizing the necklace he placed it under his foot and smashed it. A red light pulsed from the floor, spreading onto the bodies of the nearly dead otaku. Soon their bodies were encapsulated in light, their eyes flew open and gasps of breath could be heard around the room. Lance Ryan looked at Angela.

"Did we just die?" She asked, Lance James smirked.

"No, you've just been saved from a fate worse than death." Steven stood up.

"What would that be?" he asked LJ smirked.

"A world without Otaku, where the only thing on Adult Swim on Saturday nights was old re runs of Lets Make a Deal with Monty Hall, and there would be a campus organization devoted to Dick Goddard." Steven shuddered.

"I knew my brother was a sick puppy, I just didn't know how sick." Steven said. Opening the Laboratory door he now noticed there were only doors in an area that looked like the entrance to Koonce hall. "I guess our journey ends here. Well I guess I'll see you folks sometime, do you have an e-mail address I can write to?" Steven said Lance Ryan whispered in his ear and the gang began to walk towards their door. "What did he say?" Lance James said.

"Nothing, just his e-mail address." and opened the door back to Kent State. Looking at the Rosie's time clock, Steven smiled. "Looks like it's time to go home." He smiled and punched in his ID.

"Dad, Dad, Dad!" Lance heard as his eyes flew open, in his lap was a copy of Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" the picture showed a man in a crimson cloak sitting on a throne of skulls. The nagging voice was Negi, Lance Ryan's adopted son.

"What the hell happened?" Negi smiled.

"You were asleep in your chair when I got home. Mom is out shopping with Kasukabe so she won't be back for a while. She left you a note though, here." Negi handed Lance the note and he read, "Gone shopping for a dress with Saki-chan, Tilden called, call him back please, don't forget our diner date with Oguie and Sassahara. Love, Angela." Lance picked up the phone near his chair and dialed Tilden's number.

Tilden Ryan was sitting in his home in Kent screwing around with Blackboard. Ever since he became a graduate student and taught "Research Methods in Psychology" he had to screw around with Kent's new technology. He hated the technology, the classroom in the Kent hall annex hated him, and would fuck up every once in a while. He wondered if he should have done what his brother did and went to Japan. It was about the time when he was about to smash his Compaq laptop to bits when Lance called.

"Bro, what's up?" He said, Lance yawned.

"I just fell asleep reading Stephen King and had one hell of a dream. You called earlier?" Tilden smiled

"Yeah, I want to know if you and some of your guy friends wanted to be my best men at my wedding?" Lance laughed.

"You're marrying Kagura? Wonderful, bro, when are you gonna pop the question?" Tilden smiled, "Tomorrow, I got one hell of a nice ring for her too." Lance smiled.

"Great! Say, you wouldn't know two guys at Rosie's diner named Steven Shroyer and Lance James would you?" Tilden laughed.

"Hell yeah, crazier than a couple of shithouse rats those two, why?" Lance was stunned, "They're real?" Tilden got serious, "Yeah in fact Lance got into fight with Kagura in the rotunda, why it was only two years ago when," and Tilden began to tell his tale.

_Fall 2008, Tri Towers Rotunda, sometime in the afternoon_

"God damn tri desk, Amazon said it was here, now where is my damn pink slip. How long does it take to sort one DS game?" Steven said peering into his mail box. He had been expecting a game he had ordered with an gift card, he feverishly checked Amazon's package tracking feature every ten seconds almost. "Damn tri desk, I don't have time for this shit." Steven said.

"Another package, steve?" It was then he heard the familiar voice of his best friend Lance. Steven nodded,  
>"I expect them to be in my mailbox promptly and they dick around there for three hours it's bullshit pure bullshit." It was then he heard another familiar voice, one he heard every Friday night without fail. Tilden Ryan was the handpicked successor to the KSU Anime Society's presidency next to him was a woman with a blue kimono and a fan.<p>

"There are other packages other than yours Steve." Steven turned.

"Ryan, when I want your opinion I'll ask for it, right now you and your Geisha need to get in line, order your food and fuck off." Lance smirked.

"She's pretty foxy for a Geisha; tell me beautiful what is your name?" The woman responded, "Kagura, and you can go fuck yourself." Lance began laughing. "What is so goddamn funny?" Kagura said, Lance slapped his arthritic knees,

"Your nickname, you have the same nickname as a Naraku spawn. Oh, look out everybody we're in danger, one of Naraku's spawn is here to kill us all. Call security and campus police before this turns into another May 4th." Kagura responded by giving lance a swift kick in the groin. Grimacing Lance fell on his knees, which compounded the pain.

"You fucking bitch!" Lance said and shot a bolt of electricity at her, she then raised her fan, "Dance of Winds!" she shouted and slammed Lance against the ATM smashing it, Steven snuck a few twenties that fell out just in case he needed to go to "The Exchange" for a DS fix. Lance pushed himself up and fired a ball of electricity. The ball was deflected by her fan smashing a hole in the manager's office at Rosie's clearly revealing the manager Cathy, sneaking a few dollars out of the night deposit bag. "Cathy!" Mara shouted,

"Pay no attention to the woman in the manager's office. Get back to work." Cathy shouted as Kagura prepared to fire her Feather blades. Steven stepped in the middle of the two. "Okay folks break it up, In case you didn't notice there are huge chunks out of the ceiling and if I don't end up getting my package because of this shit, I am going to give you a taste of Holler Justice, and guess what it doesn't involve magic, more like a twelve gauge into your head." Kagura stopped.

"Okay Human, I'll cease. I must say Mr. James; you are the first mortal here to impress me. That rarely happens." She said and got in line for the diner, she had a craving for a Philly Chicken with double meat and cheddar.

_Tokyo Japan 2:30 PM_

"And that's how it happened, not surprisingly she wasn't impressed with Steven, she said and I hope I am saying this right that he was a Baka whatever that means." Tilden said, "Wait a minute, you're telling me, these two are real people. What about his brother, long wavy hair, almost albino pale?" Lance said, "Funny you should say that, I did a records search for a Matt Shroyer because I wanted to post his final grade for my class and as of this year there is no record of him in existence. He used to room with his brother but according to residence services room 216 in Koonce Hall is occupied by Steven Shroyer and Lance James, weird huh?" Lance was silent, "Bro, ya there?" Lance spoke.

"I need to lay off the rice beer at staff meetings, and I gotta go. Love ya." Lance said Tilden smiled, "Love ya back." and hung up.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 67: Take this Job and Shove It

_Author's note: This story once again is dedicated to Lancetheflamesniper, who gave me the seedling for this story. I would also like to note that I do not own any of the Genshiken, Soul Eater and Inuyasha characters. If I did I wouldn't be in college and working at a campus restaurant. –Steve_

It was early in the afternoon when it all began. Lance Ryan had a master's degree in Psychology and was used to giving some form of advice to his club mates. Having a spat about which Kujibiki Unbalance character you should cosplay as, ask Lance, spat with a girlfriend or wife, ask Lance, not able to get a girlfriend or a wife, well that you didn't ask Lance's advice for. So when Lance was sitting in his office with a can of Coke and freshly completed Inuyasha script, and Kouga arrived, let's just say he was peeved.

"I can't escape you people can I?" Lance said taking a sip from his can, and swiveling his chair around.

"As a reaper, you can never escape any spirit." Kouga said, Lance smiled,

"That as it may be, I don't appreciate unannounced visits. Now tell me Kouga what sort of evil do I have to do battle with this time. Kuchiki find his way back, Naraku, Bacchi-gu, anything?" Kouga shook his head.

"It's more of a personal matter, one that requires services outside my realm. I was told you have a license t be a councilor?" Lance pointed to his master's degree.

"That my wolf friend is a degree not a license to be a shrink. I suggest you search the pure realm and find one that specializes in your kind." Kouga laughed.

"I'm afraid it's not as simple as going up to Shinigami-sama and asking advice." Lance sighed.

"I'll bite, what is your problem?" Kouga looked Lance in the eyes.

"I have my eye on a woman." Lance smirked.

"Oh I see, you want to pop the question to Ayame but you don't have the ability?" Kouga shook his head.

"No actually my desires are for a mortal woman, one who is currently spoken for." Lance groaned.

"Oh god, who is it?" Kouga smirked, "Sango, the demon slayer." Lance bolted up.

"What! You're playing with me; please tell me you're playing with me? Oh this is just perfect!" Kouga was confused,

"Is there a problem Lance?" Lance shouted, "You're god damn right there's a problem. I wrote a story about you two falling in love about two years ago, a story I might add is the basis for the current series of Inuyasha! Do you people just like get random hairs up your hind ends and decide to go to the hub of the spirit realm to use the internet." Kouga cocked his head.

"Internet? What is this internet?" Lance slapped his forehead.

"It something you use to look things up from around the world but in my realm it's used for porno, porno, porno!" Kouga looked at Lance.

"So what do I do?" Lance spoke to him.

"I suggest you keep this to yourself until the right time and then let her know. Miroku is a perv, I know that from experience so it is highly plausible that you do have a chance with her, if I were a betting man I'd say two to one odds. Ya Happy now wolf boy?" Kouga smirked.

"A little, how should I tell her?" Lance smiled, "Catch her on a romantic moon lit evening, when the Jasmine blossoms are in bloom. That's how I would write it." Kouga jumped up.

"That's it! I don't know what we'd ever do without you Lance-san?" Lance muttered under his breath.

"Leave me the fuck alone." Kouga walked through the mirror and was gone, but it wouldn't be long before another client would sit in Lance's office.

"It's different than that Miroku and you know it!" Sango said as he stood in their kitchen.

"So I looked at another girl, whatever, it's not like I haven't seen you check out some of the other reapers at the gym." Sango looked at him.

"This girl was fifteen years old and was in a bathhouse in the mortal realm! You used sprit realm equipment to spy on a piece of jailbait. This is different than grabbing my ass!" Miroku threw his hands up.

"Oh, well at least I'm not moaning another reaper's name in my sleep!" Sango looked at him, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Miroku pointed a finger at her chest.

"Don't bullshit me, every night it's the same thing. 'Oh Kou-kun, take me away!' you moan it every night. You want that filthy Ookami spirit more than you want me."

"This is silly!" Sango said.

"I'm not the one having fantasies about wolf spirits." Miroku said. Sango struck back.

"Well at least I don't have a hole in my hand!" Miroku smirked.

"Well I'm not the one who has a brother in the dark realm!" It was at this point Sango broke down and began to sob, racing toward the door she flung it open and slammed it.

"She'll be back, she always comes back to her hunk of a monk." he said and picked up a copy of Penthouse and began to read out loud, "Dear Penthouse forum, I never thought it would happen to me."

Head throbbing from the shock of his work coming to life Lance Ryan gulped down two Aspirin with a glass of tap water and sat in his office.

"Sango and Kouga, why lord why do you mock me?" Lance said and looked at his clock, it was two hours before Angela would get home from her shopping trip with Saki-chan and then he had a dinner date with Oguie and Sassahara, he hoped for just a few moments peace. It didn't happen, for as soon as he began to calm down the rippling sound of the mirror in his office brought him to reality. There was Sango in her Yukata and smiling at Lance.

"Does the gateway to my office say counseling center because I don't think it does." Sango looked at him.

"Please Lance-san you're my only hope." Lance stood up, "Where are you going?" Sango asked. Lance yelled back, "To a bar, you can come too but no drinking, I know how you get!" Sango followed Lance out the door as Lance walked to the nearest stiff drink.

The Bar was more of a nightspot than a honky tonk that he was used to going to in Steubenville when he lived there. David Guetta and Akon were singing about a "Sexy Bitch" over a techno beat that made Lance's head hurt more. Sitting at the bar he ordered himself a rice beer and Sango a Sprite. Nursing the bottle began to talk over the techno.

"So what's your problem?" he said, Sango spoke.

"Well I have been thinking about Kouga recently and I think he likes me?" Lance smirked.

"That's for sure, what else?" he said taking a swig.

"I think I like him too." Sango said. Beer sprayed out of Lance's mouth covering the bar.

"What! Aw hell no! No, no, no, no not possible," He got the bartender's attention, "could you get me that bottle of Jack Daniels?" The bartender pulled the bottle down and set a glass on the bar, Lance shook his head. "No glass just the bottle, that's all I need." The bartender shrugged, Lance unscrewed the cap and drank deep. "I said God damn, praise the lord that hits the spot."

"Is there a problem?" Sango said.

"Hell yes, one big time mother fucking problem. I wrote this shit two years ago and now it's coming to life in totally different circumstances."

"Wrote what?" she asked.

"'The Power of Love', it is considered my best work of fan fiction second to my Sci-Fi Inuyasha Sailor Moon crossover. At this time it is the most widely read story on with readers from The U.S To Australia. I swear to god this day could get any worse," Lance said, and it did because behind him was a familiar woman.

"Lance? What are you doing here?" Lance groaned. It was Angela.

"Oh you know drinking, relaxing, aggravating a migraine. What brings you here?" Angela pointed over to her and Kasukabe's table.

"We came to relax like you. Who's this?" Lance smiled.

"She's a client, Sango, Angela Ryan, Angela Ryan Sango." Sango bowed Angela smiled.

"If I had half a mind I'd think you were cheating on me?" Lance muttered.

"Far from it, far from it babe." and took a swig from the Jack Daniels bottle. "Well I gotta go, here, chief, that's for the Jack. See you at home dear!" Lance said and walked outside with Sango in tow.

"That man is strange, yet again Lovett women are attracted to strange men." she said and walked back to her table.

"So what do I tell him?" Sango said as Lance sat the bottle of JD on the end table in his office. "Tell him the truth, if you are out of love with Miroku then now is the time to break it off before it becomes a loveless marriage and a messy divorce. There counseling session over and now I am going to talk to Shinigami-sama." Sango walked through the mirror,

"What about?" Lance replied with two words.

"Counseling fees!"

Shingami-sama was sitting at his desk his big hands clasped on the desk.

"Why do you need paid? Isn't the idea of protecting the mortal realm enough?" He asked Lance shook his head.

"No no, you don't get it. I have been interrupted twice today with petty bullshit that I have no business being involved with. I think some sort of monetary compensation is in order, something around 1,000,000 yen per session." Shinigami-sama stood up.

"Reaper, we do not facilitate in the processes of making money nor do we compensate for such endeavors like counseling. This is a business of death and life and therefore cannot be paid with mortal money." Lance stood up.

"Look either you pay me or I give up this bullshit." Shinigami turned around, "Let me finish, even though we do not pay in mortal money we can give you things from the mortal realm. Books not yet released, DVD's not yet on shelves, DS games not even created all yours. Now your ball park figure of 1,000,000 yen would be in our terms three unpublished books or one unreleased DVD, or One DS game being created. How does all three of Dean Koontz's new "Frankenstein' Novels sound?" Lance clasped one of Shingami-sama's fingers.

"It's a deal, pleasure doing business with you."

Sango stood in the middle of the field of Jasmine Blossoms, the moon shining bright. "I didn't expect to see you here?" she turned and saw Kouga.

"Kouga, I have something to say." Kouga brushed the hair from Sango's ears and whispered.

"I already know." he said and nuzzled her neck smelling her scent.

"How do we go about this now? I mean you got Ayame and I have Miroku. How do we tell our partners?" She said. Kouga smiled.

"I told Ayame already, she accepted it, and didn't go crazy or anything. Miroku however is a different story." It was then Kouga's ear's picked up a sound of sandals in the field.

"You whore!" Miroku said. Sango turned to her former lover.

"Miroku please understand; I can't live a lie anymore. Kouga and I are meant to be together." Miroku shouted.

"Why? Because some idiot of an author said so, Lance Ryan is a no talent hack! I loved you Sango, I may have strayed but I loved you." Sango looked at him.

"We can still be friends!" Miroku walked off "Miroku, Miroku!" Sango shouted Kouga turned to her, "Let him go it's for the best." and held her close to him.

Lance Ryan was picking up the three new "Frankenstein" Novels when an alarm sounded in the main room. "Reaper Lance we require your services!" Shinigami-sama said.

"What now?" he said; Shinigami-sama flicked a screen on. There stood Miroku on top of his house with a gun to his head, an inside view showed the house in disarray.

"Aw shit, he must have found out about them." Lance turned to Shinigami-sama.

"You know what this means?" Shingami-sama shook his head.

"Triple the fee for suicidal people." Shinigami-sama slapped his forehead and collapsed to the floor, he forgot that his hand was so heavy that it could knock him out cold if he hit himself on the head.

Lance arrived at the scene, spotlights scanned the sky, and there was a place for the fire department to catch Miroku if he fell. Lance walked over to the fire chief.

"Is this all necessary? I mean the guy is ten feet off the ground and his gun's not even real." he said the chief looked at him.

"How can you tell if the gun is fake or not?" he said.

Lance shouted, "Hello, there is an orange cap at the end of it! It's obviously a toy! Miroku you overdramatic baka get your ass down here now." Miroku shouted, down.

"No, I want Sango to watch me blow my brains out." Lance looked at him.

"Look I can tell the gun is obviously a fake and you're not fooling anyone but the emergency personnel here. Come down and let's talk."

Miroku shook his head, "No, she doesn't love me anymore, after all these years; she goes out with that wolf!" Lance looked at him.

"Can you blame her, you grab women's butts and you have the sprit realm's largest porn collection. What kind of woman wants to live with that? Look Miroku what you need is to live the life of a bachelor for a while. I think it would be a good idea; there are thousands of women in this world. I am sure once you get your lechery in check you'll find yourself a great woman. I suggest sex rehab. It worked for Tiger Woods." Miroku looked at him.

"You think so?" Lance smiled.

"Trust me, I am a counselor." Miroku leapt off the house and landed on his feet.

"You make things sound so simple." He said Lance clapped him on the back.

"I try, Miroku, I try. Look, talk to Shinigami-sama about that rehab, and see me in three months." Lance said and stepped through the mirror to his office. Looking at the clock he had an hour and a half to get ready for dinner, and right now he had quite the appetite.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 68: Group Therapy

_Author's Note: I do not own the characters from Inuyasha or Soul Eater and if I did I would not be a college student. I do apologize for the gap in writing this story; I needed a break from Lance Ryan and his friends. Not that I hate them, I just got caught up with other projects.-Steve_

Lance woke up the next morning feeling better, the sake and company of Chika and Sassahara made his day smoother. Angela was still asleep, it was Saturday, no classes and nothing planned for the day except pump out another script for the new Inuyasha based on his work which now that he thought about it was the whole reason he had a migraine yesterday. Showering and putting on a Watchmen T-shirt and a pair of Jeans Lance sat in front of his computer and felt his head pound. The computer was still on the last script he had written, Kouga was revealing his feelings to Sango and Shippo was watching the whole thing.

"Damn, why did I have to leave off here?" He said and got to work. Finishing the episode with Sango receiving Kouga's mate mark he felt it was sufficient enough to e-mail to the fat cats at the studio, looking at the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the desk he wondered if he should tempt fate, maybe get Miroku with Sango again.

"Damn it Ryan, get yourself together. Yesterday was a microcosm. You have things to do here and if you don't send this script out you'll be in some shit." He said and sent the script out, not noticing the fluffy tailed fox kit pop out of his mirror.

"Whatcha doing?" Shippo said.

"E-mailing a script, go away go play somewhere Shippo, I have to do some work!"

Lance then paused and turned and was nose to nose with the kitsune.

"Oh hell no!" Lance said as the kit sat in one of his chairs and tried to grasp the bottle of Jack. "Give me that, that's not iced tea! Why are you here?" Lance said. Shippo smiled.

"Because I'm cute and people like me, just look at my cute little fangs and puffy tail!" Lance shook his head.

"No, no, why are you here in my office. Do you have a purpose, a mission, a message something?" Shippo laughed.

"Oh that thing, I have a message. Shinigami-sama sent me here because he wants to talk to you about Miroku." Shippo said, Lance shook his head and slapped his palm to his forehead.

"And he couldn't do this himself because?" Lance said peering into the mirror. Shinigami-sama was having fun with his son, playing "Dance Dance Revolution" and trying to beat Kid-Kun. Lady GaGa's "Just Dance" was playing from a large screen as Kid was tearing it up, his father had a handicap he did not have two legs making it unfair. "Come on son couldn't we play 'Risk' or something cool like that?" Shinigami-sama said out of breath.

"What you should do is take care of business first!" Lance said. Shinigami-sama looked behind him.

"Lance Ryan, how are you? I hope Shippo didn't interrupt, we need to discuss a proposition from Miroku." Lance furrowed his brow.

"You send a seven year old fox demon to come and get me because you were busy playing DDR? DDR, really, you couldn't have sent Miroku himself?" Shinigami-sama laughed.

"Well I thought it looked fun, and then I realized no legs, so anyway. Miroku wants to hold group counseling with him and Sango; I assumed you heard that she broke up with him to go out with Kouga. Well he wants to find out why. So he wanted to gather Sango and Kouga and meet at your place for a session." Lance sighed.

"What time? You know I am charging my highest times three for this so you better have something good." Lance said Shinigami-sama looked at his watch.

Lance looked at his watch, the clock just struck one and he looked out into his realm to saw the three of them sitting in his office.

"Aw piss, this is great!' Lance said a tinge of sarcasm in his voice and stepped through the mirror.

"I don't know why we're doing this; I told you why I broke up with you!" Sango said Miroku laughed.

"Yeah but I felt we needed professional help." Kouga growled.

"It doesn't take a professional to know the reason; you're a baka, big time." Miroku lunged across the couch just as Lance walked out of his mirror.

"I have negotiated with Shinigami-sama the payment so let's get this thing over with. No killing each other before the day's out okay." Lance said walking over to his cabinet and pulling out a sake set and a bottle. Pouring them each a cup, Lance sat back in his chair and downed his making a pained face before exhaling and rubbing his hands together.

"Let's get to work shall we. Miroku, I'll start with you first, why do you think Sango left you?" Miroku slugged back his sake as Lance poured him another one.

"Well we got into a fight earlier that day and I had always suspected it since she moans his name in her sleep. I guess it began when I made her spin out by mentioning Kohaku." Lance nodded.

"Yes that is a touchy subject, and do you regret it now? I mean if you knew this was inevitable then why fight it." Miroku sighed.

"I guess I felt it was written in the stars, that since I first met Rumiko that Sango and I would be together." Lance looked at Kouga.

"Have you always harbored feelings for Sango?" Kouga nodded.

"I guess it was fate that I dreamt of her since I met her, maybe something cosmic, don't know really." he said Lance poured Kouga another cup and noticed Sango's hand was inching closer to the bottle.

"I'm going to cut you off! You haven't even had your second shot and now you want the entire bottle?" Sango laughed, she was buzzed and if she got a hold of that bottle she would be shitfaced. Lance turned looked at Sango.

"Do you have something you want to add to this? I mean your former lover obviously had some doubts later on and your new one feels there's some cosmic alignment going on. How do you feel about this subject?" Sango slapped Lance's hand and grabbed the bottle "Not good." Lance thought as she began chugging sake.

"You want to know what I think." Sango said slamming the bottle down on the table. "You don't know what it's like living with a lech for a lover. To throw away his porno and catch him whacking off to 'The View', to hear him complain about chapped dick, and most of all to be afraid that when he goes on a mission he will come back making child support payments. Miroku was good for a while but after a bit it got old." She said and began making spider like movements toward Kouga's groin with her hand. Lance watched Kouga sit there stone faced not paying attention.

"So you're telling me that the whole Miroku relationship to you was a sham?" Lance said. Kouga let out a startled gasp as Sango grabbed his junk.

"Okay Sango, I'm going to ask you to refrain from stimulating Kouga right now and answer my question." Lance said Sango nuzzled Kouga's neck "Too hot for ya doc? You don't like me doing this in front of you?" Lance coughed.

"No, no, not at all I'm sure there are quite a few guys in my club that would love to see this; however I feel you are dodging the subject. Was it a sham yes or no?" Sango stopped and looked at Lance.

"Come on you know you always wanted write about me and Kouga doing this, take notes." Lance frowned. "Kouga, ko, ko ko, ko Kouga!" Sango said imitating the chorus of the Kink's "Lola" taking off her Yukata revealing nothing underneath.

"Okay I think I'm done here! I am going to ask Shinigami-sama for prompt payment and maybe even more because of this." Kouga grabbed Sango and walked through the mirror; occasionally she'd lose footing and stumble. "Next time no sake!" Lance said as Miroku walked out unhappy things didn't work.

Miroku walked to his apartment and entered his pass code and flicked on the lights.

"I guess I'll never know. That was a mistake big time." A voice spoke behind him.

Turning around Miroku saw an auburn haired woman with green eyes and pointy ears.

"Ayame, how did you get in here?" Miroku said.

"I have my ways" She said and sat next to him on the couch. "I have been having these dreams, about you about us and I want to know if you feel the same way too?" Ayame said as she looked into Miroku's eyes. Miroku had been having dreams about Ayame recently, why he didn't know but he always woke up in a sweat and had a headache.

"Yeah, passionate dreams, I mean I wake up feeling all wore out." Miroku said, Ayame smiled, "I knew it. Usually when an Ookami Yokai has her eyes set on a mate he usually has vivid dreams about her. Miroku I love you, maybe more than Kouga, I know you might not have had this happen to you but," Ayame got on her knees and held Miroku's hand, "can I bear your children?" Miroku blushed.

"Wow, wow! I have done that to a lot of women but never had I have a woman do that to me! Ayame if this is destiny then let us be together." He said and she looked into his eyes and kissed him deeply. Lance watched from a screen in Shinigami-sama's office. "Wow, didn't see that one coming. Usually she never makes it past chapter one in my work, now about my payment." he said Shinigami-sama sighed, he had a migraine.


	19. Chapter 19

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 69: Ringing Bells

_Authors Note: You may notice that the last two stories are drifting from horror a bit. I promise you dear reader I plan for some serious horror moments in this and coming episodes. Again I must state as most fan fiction authors do that I do not own the Genshiken characters they are the Property of Shimoku Kio and not me. Also this story makes reference to a future episode of Kent Paranormal, which is a spinoff of this series. This does not mean you have to read it (although it would be a good idea) to understand this story. Steve_

"No way, you're serious?" Lance said as he sat down and opened the lunch Angela had so kindly packed for him.

"Yeah, I saved up the money and bought the ring two weeks ago, you wanna see." Tanaka said. He pulled the box out of the pocket of his pants and opened it.

"Jesus that must have cost a fortune, what was it two hundred thousand, three hundred thousand yen? " Tanaka shut the box,

"Yeah close to three, I am so nervous. How did you and Angela go about it?" Tanaka said.

Lance smiled, "Aside from the attempted murder, very passionately. In America, proposals are usually very romantic. Of course I don't know how they do it now. How's my cosplay outfit for comi-fest coming, remember I want to be Ken from Street Fighter." Lance said.

Tanaka took a sip of his iced coffee, "Yeah, it's almost finished; Ohno is going to be Blair from 'Soul Eater' and Kasukabe is going to be Tsubaki so of course they're going to be a big hit. Has Angela decided if she wants to Chun-Li? I could make one in her size pretty quick?" Lance smiled.

"I'd have to talk to her about that, I woke up late this morning and almost missed my U.S Pop Culture class. Those students would be pissed if I wasn't there." He said, it was then a familiar voice spoke to him.

"Your damn psychic insomnia is what made you late. You were in bed at three AM because you were working on that story, 'One night in New Orleans' I don't see why you needed to work so late." Angela walked in and sat down giving Lance a kiss. "How are the Croquets?" she asked as Lance took another bite.

"Great, Tanaka is going to propose to Ohno during comi-fest." Lance said. Angela let out a small chuckle.

"Very good, it's about time you took the plunge. How long have you two been together, three, four years?"

Tanaka blushed, "Just don't tell the others, I want it to be a surprise." Lance and Angela nodded.

"You know you can count on us. When is Comi-fest this year?" Angela said.

"Sometime in April for the new spring one, Chika has got the dojinshi ready for publication we're just waiting for the printer to get done with it." Lance said.

"Got another dynamite winner for us Lance-san?" Madarame said, sitting down.

"You know it! How much money have I brought in for this club?" Lance said.

Madarame laughed, "Too much, our bank account is stuffed; you always seem to turn out such great work. Where do you get your ideas?"

Lance smiled, "I guess I am just unique and that awesome. Angela, have you decided on a cosplay outfit?" She nodded, "I guess if you're Ken I'm Chun-Li. I just hope it doesn't bring back memories of, well you know." Lance shuddered.

"Don't remind me, besides you're way hotter than Madarame."

Madarame laughed, "Damn straight, besides I don't need a girlfriend."

Lance then heard his Cell Phone ring.

"Ryan?" He said,

"Have you checked your office?" The voice said,

"Who is this? " He said and looked at his caller ID.

"Have you checked your office?" The voice said, Lance hung up,

"Fucking prank calls!" he said, and got up from his chair. "I need to go to the American Studies office and check something out. If club begins hold off discussion until I get back." Lance said and walked out.

The Department of American studies was fairly new on campus, in a new building built within the last two years of Lance being there. Lance's office was on the third floor, he had his own unlike professors in the other departments who just had cubicles. He knew his graduate assistant, Matsuri, was working on grading some papers and was the only one in his office, she wouldn't be stupid and prank call him. Lance slid his key card in the lock, and found the door actually opened at his slightest touch. The office was in disarray. Papers were thrown about, posters were spattered with blood, and somewhere the sound of a radio was playing The Chordette's "Mr. Sandman" making things even more unsettling.

"Matsuri, you are here? What the hell happened to this place?" He then saw the girl sitting at the desk her head slumped on her chest, Lance looked at her.

"Matsuri, hon, you okay?" Lance spun the chair and stumbled back. Her eyes were missing, pitch black gore caked holes remained, the worst was her mouth. The corners had been cut, making her face look almost like a crude reincarnation of Jack Nicholson's Joker from "Batman" Lance nearly retched in the nearby garbage can. The phone was off the hook, picking it up he could hear noises, slick noises like somebody cutting through flesh. The computer's screen saver was on; wiggling the mouse Lance noticed a picture of a clown. The words "Time's up" were written in bloody font. Lance ran towards his office and picked up the phone to call the police.

Detective Hojo absolutely hated dealing with Lance Ryan. He was always involved in some sort of unexplained homicide or was the victim of some sort of plot and when the call came out for him to go to Suiho University's American Studies Department about a possible homicide he wanted to take up smoking again. This time he opened a box of chocolate Pocky and stuck the stick between his teeth, it was the closest thing to a cig his wife would let him have.

"What the fuck is Ryan up to this time?" Hojo said as he walked up to the crime scene, Detective Ox pushed up his glasses.

"No fucking clue, he's in the men's room puking his guts up." Hojo walked under the crime scene tape, "Victim's name is Matsuri Urasawa, age twenty-one. She was his grad assistant. Ryan walked in and found her like this, no clue how someone did it or got in." Hojo looked at the empty chair.

"Who had a key to get in?" Ox looked up.

She and Ryan, that's it, no one else had a key but them." Hojo looked at the gore caked pen sitting in the evidence bag. "

Tell me Ox, where did they find this pen?" Ox looked at Hojo.

We're supposing the tissue on the pen comes from the area around the eye like the others too." Hojo bit down on his Pocky, and chewed.

"Looks to me like he's struck again, does Ryan assume anything? How much does Ryan know?" Ox shook his head,

"I told you he hasn't left the damn bathroom since we got here. Probably very little save for the fact he saw the timer." Hojo looked at the timer.

"Is it the same font as the others? Have we found an IP address for the damn site where this comes from?" Ox thumbed through a note pad.

"Says it comes from SR 666, I don't think that's an actual IP address though." Hojo smirked.

"No, not at all, I'm not tech savvy but I'm guessing that doesn't come from anywhere near this place." Ox looked at him, "You mean like America?" Hojo shook his head, "No, SR means Spirit realm, get Ryan out of the bathroom we may need his help."

Lance held his head over the bowl and heaved but nothing came out, he was empty.

"Not again, not again he's not out. Please, god, tell me it's not real, that they didn't let him out?" He said as the stall door swung open.

"How's it going captain?" Hojo said. Lance looked at him.

"I'm hunched over a toilet bowl. How you think its going?" Hojo smirked at him.

"Ox and I need to see you in the hallway if you don't mind." Lance stood up and wiped his mouth off with his hand. He walked over to the sink and put a bunch of puffy, cherry scented hand soap on his hands washing them furiously.

"It's not him is it, Kuchiki I mean. It's not his M.O so it can't be him." Lance stuck his hand under the blower and let the warm air caress his hands.

"We know it's not Kuchiki, he strangled, and Bacchi-gu used knives, so one of two things. Either it's a new guy that you don't know about or somebody fucking with the phones." Hojo said Lance walked out into the hallway,

"I heard you guys talk, something about a spirit realm IP address, I think you should call someone, he's my brother. He works for an agency in Kent that deals with this stuff. About a while back while he was there, there were these murders by some spiritual force. This was before Kent Paranormal was in its infancy, so they didn't have the means to fully contain it so I guess we need to call them" Lance said.

"No can do, Ryan. We tried calling the number you gave us when you made your last courtesy visit; they say there is no phone line connection anywhere. Plus reports are coming out of Ohio about a sort of 'Under the Dome' effect. Nobody can get in or get out." Ox said. Lance picked up his cell phone and dialed the Kent Paranormal main switchboard. A cheery British voice spoke.

"Thank you for calling the Kent Paranormal Society's main directory," it said, "due to a level five paranormal event the entire Kent Paranormal compound is under Level 1 lockdown. We apologize for any inconvenience as we deal with this event." Lance closed his cell phone.

"Shit!" he said as he looked at the detectives, "One of two things is wrong here. One, The Crimson King has returned, or Two the whole world has gone apeshit." Ox looked at him.

"The Crimson King, You mean like the Stephen King character? Insomnia, The Dark Tower series, that Crimson King, he's fiction." Lance nodded.

"He's very real, I don't think it's him that's doing this, maybe a servant of The Random, his minions perhaps but, he would focus on where it would hurt the most which is Kent, since they seem a most formidable challenge to him. However I wouldn't rule out him or his people. "I got to talk to Shinigami-sama about this. Excuse me gentlemen." Lance walked over to the bathroom and touched the mirror on the wall. A blue glow filled the bathroom, Hojo and Ox looked as it seeped through the cracks.

"He always takes off, doesn't he?" Ox said, Hojo finished the last bit of his Pocky and put another in his mouth.

"Yeah, but when it comes to strange shit, he's our man. Come on Ox let's get a beer somewhere."

Shinigami-sama sat at his computer. Negative spirit energy levels over Kent were high; he hoped that the new group that Reaper Lance had founded would get the job done. Lance stepped into the office silently; Shinigami-sama looked at the screen.

"You know don't you?" Lance said. Shinigami-sama jumped.

"God don't scare me like that! I know what, that The Crimson King is back? Yes, he's taken Shroyer's body. Most unfortunate really, he was bit by a vampire and his body regressed. His spirit is around, contained in an Adamantium armor. We can't make any contact in or out of Kent, so you coming here is quite fortuitous." Shinigami-sama said, Lance looked at him,

"How so, if you're expecting me to," Shingami-sama shook his head.

"Not just you but pretty much everyone in your club. They proved themselves quite well in Coshocton." Lance shook his head.

"If this is The Crimson King I know then I don't even think my group could help them, he's a vampire with extreme power. I do know one thing that could help them though." Shinigami-sama looked at him.

"Who, I'd like to know that's for sure?" Lance went to Shinigami-sama's computer to pull up his records and forwarded a page to his brother's Kent e-mail. "We need them to get this done quick." Lance said. Shinigami-sama looked at him, "For what reason do they need a Werewolf?" Lance smirked,

"How else do we defeat a vampire? Besides we got bigger problems, the Bell Ringer of Kent State has moved east." Shinigami-sama looked at him.

"The serial killer, I thought we locked him away?" Lance looked at Shinigami-sama.

"Nothing ever stays locked away forever."

Shinigami-sama looked at his screen and typed in The Bell Ringer's coordinates and saw he was safe in the dark realm; however somebody had hacked into the spirit realm's computer system.

"Damn mortals, someone is going to pay for this!" he said and looked at the location, an apartment currently rented by Ladd Russo. "That Bastard's out? Who let his ass out?" Shinigami-sama said and sipped his tea. It was going to be a long month.

Kanako Ohno was surfing the internet, Lance had not shown up for the meeting and Angela was stalling things.

"Jesus, Angela can't we just start without him, it's almost been an hour." Madarame shouted. Sassahara looked at him.

"Lance is in charge of the dojinshi this year so it wouldn't be a good idea to go over it without him." Just then Lance appeared.

"Sorry, I just got sidetracked with the police and Shinigami-sama and," Angela stopped him.

"The police, Shinigami-sama, Lance, have you lost your mind? You sound absolutely daft. Now if we don't start this meeting Madarame is going to have a coronary."

Just then Ohno's cell phone began to ring, "

Hello?" She said. Lance could make out through the phone the sounds of the Kent State Library's bell chimes.

"Hello?" Ohno said, and then looked at her computer screen. A clown's face flashed on the screen followed by a creepy shrill laugh. Falling over in her chair, Ohno stood up and looked at her computer. a timer was counting down the days, hours and minutes.

"No!" Lance shouted. Angela looked at him, "Jesus Christ Lance, what has gotten into you today?" Lance looked at her, his voice got serious, almost deadly serious.

"When my brother was at Kent State there used to be this rumor, one that the Kent Paranormal team proved to be true. You get a phone call while you're on the computer, and you hear the sound of the campus clock tower. Then a clown appears and a timer counts down the days." Ohno looked at him.

"Days till what?" Lance looked at her dead in the eyes.

"The day you die."

_TBC_


	20. Chapter 20

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 70: The Big Nothing

_For Lancetheflamesniper who continually inspires me with his macabre brilliance. Hope you never encounter the "Dallas Police" ever in your life._

_Author's Note: I once again must apologize to my Club Room Fans who have been waiting for this chapter, I keep getting sidetracked with school and other projects that I forget my own child(that's what this is to me anyway)-Steve_

"Lance? Lance? Lance!" Angela shouted as Lance's alarm began meeping ferociously like a wild bird. Lance looked up and flicked the switch off on the alarm. The Clock said May 4th 2010 it had been over a month since Ohno got the ominous message on her laptop. Since then nothing happened, the murderer of his grad assistant had not been caught and the IP address was a phony. Nobody knew who had access to Ohno's computer but Lance assumed it was a joke played by Madarame, the bastard was a weird one. School was out; Tanaka was still sitting anxiously on the ring he had got Ohno waiting till Comi-Fest to propose. Rubbing his eyes he looked at the ceiling and groaned.

"Angela, how long has it been since we've had to deal with weird shit, one, two months?" Lance said as he swung his legs out of bed and sat hunched over on the side.

"You're still worried about Ohno? The Kent Paranormal guy said there was no problem, do you need to talk to them again?" Angela said as Lance sighed.

"You know I have been having these dreams? I am going to visit Ohno and talk with her about cosplaying, and there's this guy. He is in a white suit and he his choking the life out of her, I try to stop him but she's dead, cold as ice, no pulse. He then tells me something, something about the past coming back to bite me in the ass. That's when I wake up, it may be related to," Lance was stopped by Angela raising her hand to him.

"If you say Kuchiki, I am going to kick your bloody arse up and down this block! Everything you do always seems to be related to him! Somebody has misfortune in the world it's Kuchiki, Earthquakes in Haiti it's caused by Kuchiki, if someone even mispronounces a word in club it's Kuchiki!" Angela said jumping out of bed, pulling her nightgown around her waist to ward off the AC's chill.

"He could very well be out there somewhere Angela, if not him someone who follows him. We have got to be alert." Lance said standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

"Paranoid is more like it, love. Have you ever thought of counseling?" Angela said Lance groaned.

"I just remembered I have a client today! It's his second visit and we haven't even made headway!" Lance said and went to his closet to pull out some work attire.

"Who's the new client?" Angela asked.

"Death the Kid, god I hate him!" Lance said as he put on a dress shirt and a pair of khaki slacks.

"The little prick with OCD, he hasn't been the one who's been going through the house and adjusting the artwork is he?" Angela said, Lance nodded and walked towards his study, he had some work to do. "Bloody hell, here I thought Negi was doing it!" She said and went to the kitchen to make coffee.

Death the Kid was always eight minutes late to his appointments, never six, never one it was always eight. He had what the DSM IV called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, his compulsion was symmetry and at 10:08 in the morning he arrived with through the mirror. Lance looked at his watch and nodded to himself, and then watched as Kid began adjusting his bookshelf starting with Stephen King.

"Kid, what are you doing?" Lance said. Kid remained focused on the task.

"Your bookshelf was bothering me; I need to make it symmetrical, if you could hold on for just a moment." He said as he moved the paperbacks around. Lance stood up and swept the books of the shelf.

"No! Oh god I'm a failure!" Kid shouted and collapsed to the floor crying. Lance stood over him.

"For Christ sake Kid, get up! At the rate you're going all of Stephen King's books from now until he dies will be mine. Your father is paying me a hefty sum to take care of this problem you know." Lance said as he sat down in a high backed leather chair. Kid continued his pouting.

"I'm worthless; I am nothing, a worm!" Kid said Lance picked him up by his blazer.

"Sit your happy ass down and let's begin!" Lance said slamming kid into the chair. "Now I am going to try to cure your little compulsion because your dad is already pissed off at me for the last session. Do you remember what happened last session?" Lance said.

"I spent the entire thirty minutes, arranging your wife's panties sir." Kid said. Lance nodded.

"I caught two hours of hell for that, and I still won't be able to have her forgive me for it! Now here's what were gonna do I have a room set up in the Spirit Realm that is full of asymmetrical things. For a quarter of our session you will be placed in that room and forced to deal with it, gradually we'll level up until you get over this," Lance paused as Kid got up from his chair and began adjusting his swords, "Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?" he said

Kid smiled, "They weren't," Lance stopped him.

"You see, you see, this is the same bullshit I'm trying to stop! Now leave those damn things alone or I will not hesitate to cut you with one!" Lance said and walked towards the mirror, "Come on, we don't have all day!" he said. Kid stopped fidgeting with the swords and stepped through the mirror.

Kid's first session in the asymmetrical room was a nightmare. Sitting down at the Kitchen table enjoying a cup of tea with Angela and Negi he began discussing it.

"I had to charge his dad for two extra hours because he would not leave! He sat there for two hours crying and saying how he was a failure and then began arranging the room. I am going to try next session to fix this but for now Prozac seems the only answer." Lance said stirring the honey in his tea. Negi looked at him and smiled.

"Dad, don't worry you'll fix him, I'm sure of it, you fixed Kouga and Miroku!" he said Lance shook his head.

"No Negi that solved itself, emotions got involved and that was a huge mess pales in comparison to this one though. Boy oh boy what I wouldn't give for five minutes alone with the mother that gave birth to that asshole." Lance said and sipped his tea.

"Who would fuck Shinigami-sama?" Angela said Lance looked up and smiled.

"Somebody who is desperate for a fuck, maybe one of those prostitutes you see in Thailand?" Lance said that's when the phone rang and Lance saw Detective Hojo's number on the Caller ID screen. Grumbling he picked up the phone. "Yes, Detective, what is it this time?" he said.

"Caller ID is a magical thing huh," Hojo said as he rummaged through a file cabinet the phone caught between his shoulder and his ear. "Listen, Lance I am searching my file cabinets and am trying to look up something on a Ladd Russo, you know, Kanako Ohno's ex, and can't find shit." Lance was puzzled. Russo was a young, violence prone man who was Ohno's boyfriend for a time, he was also one of Kuchiki's various hosts. Lance grimaced with the thought him wandering around. His file going missing was a problem of great disturbance. Lance spoke.

"This can't be good; did you check the computer banks?" He said as he walked with the portable phone into the study. Hojo typed the name into the computer, no response.

"No dice Lance, boy hits are at zero." Hojo said Lance grimaced and then heard the beep of his call waiting.

"Hold on, Hojo, got another call." Lance said and pressed a button on the phone. "Hello?" A gruff voice spoke over the other end, one with a Brooklyn Accent.

"Did ya miss me Ryan? Ya know being underground for almost a year has taught me a few things, where you live, how you get to work, where to get a key to your office." It was Ladd.

"No! No I thought you were, gone, dead buried underground." Lance said, He said as he stepped backwards, banging into his bookshelf.

"My dad paid a shitload of Yen, to get my records removed, and to get the charges dropped. I just called to say that, I want to make peace, we're both working toward a common goal you and me." Ladd said.

"I don't think removing a college student's eyes qualifies as something I would want to do. What do you want dummy, get to the point." Lance said. He tried to stop his knees from shaking.

"You know what I want and you're going to get it for me. I want him, the great one. The one that saw me as a worthy vessel, you get me?" Ladd said, Lance was now genuinely terrified.

"I don't know what happened to him? I don't even know if he exists anymore, please whatever you are going to try to do, don't!" Lance said Ladd laughed and hung up the phone, Lance picked back up with Detective Hojo.

"Hojo-san, I think I may know why you can't find any records, if you look at your department's budget you'll find something of interest but that's all I can say for now." Lance said and hung up. Sinking against the bookshelf he began to wonder why his nightmares always came true.

"Kid, turn that shit down now!" Shinigami-sama said as Depeche Mode was blasting from his son's speakers. Hopping over to his son's room he banged on the door with one white fist and nearly knocked it off its hinges. "Kid, what the hell are you doing in there?" he said as he turned the knob of the door finding it open. There Kid was sitting in the middle of the floor his legs hunched to his chest rocking back and forth. "Damn it son, this is bullshit. You spend a few minutes of a counseling session in an asymmetrical room and now you're going bugnuts! Do I have to call Dr. Ryan? I owe that man a ton of items for this and by god I am not letting that go to waste." Kid just sat there rocking back and forth, murmuring something. It sounded like, "Mother is coming home. Mother is coming home." Shinigami-sama shut off the stereo and looked at his son. "What is this about your mother?" Shinigami-sama said his son turned and looked at him; black blood was streaming from his son's nose. Shinigami-sama stumbled on his one pointy appendage that served as a leg. "Where is she? Tell me where she is Kid!" He said and pulled a handkerchief from his outfit handing it to Kid to place against his nose. Kid continued to rock back and forth. Shinigami-sama began to walk over to the mirror in his son's room, somewhere in Lance Ryan's study the the laws of physics were being bent.

"Damn it Ryan, my son is a nervous wreck because of you, and now he won't stop talking about his mother!" Shinigami-sama said as Lance sat in his chair with a glass of scotch in his hand.

"You're not the only one with problems Shinigami-sama. Kuchiki may be returning. Don't ask me why but he may be returning to this world. Besides I mentioned to you that this was the only cognitive behavioral approach that would work in your son's case. I must say your son has the most severe case of OCD I have ever seen." Lance said. The ice in his glass made a clinking sound he paused before pouring himself another scotch. Angela had known after he had come out of his study he needed time alone. She took Negi to the bookstore, he had won the faculty finals week raffle and got a 1,000,000 yen gift card to a bookstore and wanted to buy the latest Joe Hill and a couple zombie books. Shinigami-sama clasped his hands together and sighed his mask lifting up a bit as the breath came out.

"There's something I need to tell you about Kid, about his mother." he said Lance sat down.

"This would be a good time for it; maybe if I understood his family history I can try to help him better." Lance said as he sipped his scotch and felt it burn his throat.

"He and Chrona are related by blood, they both have the same mother." Shinigami-sama said. Lance nearly choked on his drink.

"Medusa, is Kid's mother? How is that even possible, she's evil, you're good, it's like as someone said, a Volvo with a gun rack!" Lance said as he sat his drink down and looked at Shinigami-sama. "How long have you kept this from him?" he asked.

"All his life, she began black blood experiments in the womb. He never showed any traits of madness except for OCD and now he's lost it. There was black blood pouring from his nose, that's not a good sign. It could be something far worse than we expected. "Shinigami-sama said as he stood up from his chair and walked toward the mirror. Lance met him there, and looked at him.

"If he does anything crazy, I mean worse than now, call me and I'll be right over." Lance said, and watched as the death god, leader of all realms walked into his mirror. It was then Lance heard the familiar footsteps of his adopted son.

"Dad, Dad, look what I got you at the bookstore!" Negi said and handed him a book, it was called, "Heart Shaped Box." "Mom said you didn't have this one so I got it for you!" He said Lance gave his son a hug, holding him for a long time.

"You know I will always be there for you, no matter what?" he said to Negi, tears rimmed around his eyes. Negi smiled at his father as he let go.

"Ever since my parents died, you and mom have been the only family I have had, plus Madarame said he'd let me watch one of his Hentai's when I get older, whatever those are." Negi said. Lance grimaced at this thought.

"Maybe I should be there to supervise that, Madarame gets a little overzealous with that stuff. In fact I'll talk with him about it at club tomorrow." Lance said and walked out of the study. Angela was unloading a takeout dinner meal in front of them. "Smells good, Angela do you mind if I do something I haven't done in a long time before we eat?" he said. Angela looked at him.

"What would that be?" she said as they sat down. Lance clasped his hands together, bowed his head, closed his eyes, and began to speak. Angela and Negi both knew what he wanted to do.

"Heavenly father, "Lance said and began to pray for the first time in a long time.

Shinigami-sama walked towards Kid's room and knocked. The door swung open. There in her hooded cowl was his ex wife, and Kid's mother, Medusa."

"Hello Shinigami-sama, been quite some time huh?" she said. Shinigami-sama looked at her through his mask.

"Why are you here? What do you want with our son?" He said, Medusa laughed.

"Silly god, he wants what I want." She said, Shinigami didn't notice Kid coming into the room, a dagger in his hand. "You see," Medusa said, "I want control, I want power, and now I'll have it!" Kid let out a roar as he slammed the dagger into his father's back, his eyes wild. Shinigami-sama fell to the floor and looked up at his son.

"Kid, what are you doing?" He shouted as Medusa drove the dagger in deeper with her boot. Kid smiled, his father's spine was severed, paralyzing him. "Kid, son, help me!" Shinigami-sama said just as Kid pulled out the orb containing the remnants of the dark realm.

"Long, live the king!" Kid said and watched as his father's spirit was sucked into the orb.

Somewhere in the darkness of a love hotel, Ladd Russo was watching the whole thing unfold through his bathroom mirror. Turning to the bedroom he looked at the blood stained white sheets and smiled. "Your move now Ryan, you can play or pass." He said and snapped a picture on his camera phone before getting dressed and walking out of the room. On the bed was a body, her throat had been cut to the point where it was almost severed, on her chest were the words, "You're Next" carved with an ice pick. Beside the bodies were photos of Lance and the gang, hanging out, talking, and cosplaying. Underneath one of those photos was the words, "Next kill." It was a picture of Ohno. Ladd chosen his next victim and where he was going to do it was going to be a killer. Next to the bed was a brochure, it read. "Cosplay, Voice Actors, Dojinshi, all in one place, come to the first ever Spring Comi-fest 2010!"

_TBC_


	21. Chapter 21

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 71: Raising Cain

_For Lancetheflamesniper and his lovely girlfriend, may god bless you wherever you are tonight._

_Author's Note: I do not own Genshiken nor do I own Soul Eater. They are the property of their respected owners and not me. I want to apologize for the delay in chapters, I have been quite busy with other projects but this one will always be my baby, I hope you all will understand-Steve_

If the dark realm was designed to be torture for its residents then to some of us Shinigami-sama's room in the now compacted realm was the worst. Covering his ear holes for the past twelve hours he was locked in a room where the only sound was Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" a torture many people would say can be pleasurable if they are into this kind of music. However the god of all realms was annoyed by this song since Kid had been blasting it nonstop since they song came out. Looking up into the ceiling he let out a scream, a scream that could be heard in our realm just as a young otaku was getting into his costume.

"Did you hear something Angela?" Lance said as he adjusted his red gi to show off the right amount of his body for the ladies.

"No love, now will you please hurry up! We need to be at the train station soon." Angela adjusted her Chun Li costume and turned to Negi. "Now we will be at Comi-Fest all day, there is some instant ramen in the cupboard and some Coke in the fridge. Remember what to do if someone comes knocking at the door asking for your father." Angela said.

"If it's the police tell them he's at Comi-Fest and if it isn't tell them to bugger off." Negi said, Angela ruffled his hair and smiled.

"Let's go babe, time's a wasting." Lance said and Angela kissed Negi on the head and followed Lance. As he passed through the door and walked down the steps he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It looked like Dr. Stein from "Soul Eater" however when he turned the image was gone. "This is going to be one hell of a day." Lance murmured and walked towards the train station.

"Damn it, I can't find him, run another scan!" Medusa said as Kid typed on the master computer. They were trying to locate Kuchiki and so far had no success, no files found and no location could be confirmed. "Who is in charge of the dark realm computer system?" Medusa asked.

"Tsubaki Nakatuskasa, she and her boyfriend watch over the dark realm's files mother dear." Kid said Medusa growled.

"Damn it, knock off the 'mommy dearest' shit. Where is this Nakatuskasa, I think some answers are in order! Bring her to me at once; if she won't talk we'll just have to find a way to get it out of her." Medusa said Kid began typing and found her file.

"She's in her dorm, should I page her?" Kid said, Medusa smirked and gave him a knowing nod. Kid hit the page button and waited.

"Damn Ohno-chan, you look good!" Lance said smirking slyly as he stood on the platform watching for the train. Ohno blushed, she was Blair this year. Lance had noticed one thing since she arrived; Madarame had been staring at her chest from the moment they had all met. Lance turned to Madarame and smiled. "Madarame, seriously if she sees you looking at her like that she'll kick your ass. I'm serious, and if she doesn't I will!" Lance said.

Madarame looked at Lance, "If Angela was dressed like that wouldn't you stare? I mean look at those tits, they're huge! It's like she's smuggling two watermelons in there." Ohno turned around and looked at Madarame.

"Ohno groin kick!" she said thrust one of her thigh high boots into Madarame's crotch, causing the otaku collapse and cough, Lance laughed.

"Baka, I told you that would happen, didn't I?" Lance said as he helped the otaku off the train depot floor, Madarame groaned as the others laughed. As the train arrived, Tanaka stopped Lance and smiled.

"Today is the day, I'm a little jittery. Do you really think I'm making the right decision?" Tanaka said Lance slapped his friend on the back.

"As they say in a popular play in my country, 'no day but today'" Lance said and watched as Tanaka boarded the train, in front of him. He smiled and remembered the time he proposed to Angela, he was so nervous, but it was the other memory that came back too, the bad one. The one with the sniper, the one where it all began, the one where his life changed, when he ceased being normal and became the man he is now. He could feel it in his bones. Lance shook his head closed his eyes, no more bad thoughts, today was their day. Lance looked at the two of them standing together, and began to silently pray.

Tsubaki was proving to be a tough nut to crack. When she arrived at the control center to see who she thought was Shinigami-sama she had no clue it would end up like this. Tsubaki now was on the floor, bonds of energy held her wrists and ankles to the ground. She had two tubes, one inside her mouth and another inside her anal cavity, a bucket of water were being fed into the tubes, and her stomach was bloated. Squirming Medusa laughed as Kid pumped the water inside. She removed the tube from Tsubaki's mouth, a torrent of water escaped. Coughing, Tsubaki looked at Medusa.

"Please, stop! I think my stomach is going to explode, please stop!" Tsubaki said her voice quivering. Medusa smirked.

"If you tell me where Kuchiki is, I will stop. Till then I suggest you get comfy with your fate." Medusa said.

"I swear, I don't know! Please stop I think I'm going to die. Please god stop!" Tsubaki said, Kid squeezed the bulb again, Tsubaki let out a scream. Medusa smiled.

"I can make this stop, just tell me. You know where he is, tell me or else I think I may have Kid here have some fun, if you know what I mean." Medusa shouted. Tsubaki shook her head. Kid stood up and began to undo his belt. Tsubaki looked at her.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you, don't let him rape me, I'll tell you everything!" Tsubaki said. She then felt the bonds remove themselves. "He's a tree now, a lost soul tree. He can't be returned, in fact I think he may be dead!" she said, Medusa walked over to the globe that held the dark realm.

"Son, let her relive herself, then take her to your room. Consider this a present, for being such a good boy!" Medusa laughed, Kid smirked and removed the other tube and began forcing Tsubaki into the hallway. He would be a virgin no more this day.

Lance got into position, doing a karate kick as Angela blocked it, the sounds of flashbulbs clicking. Ohno walked over to Lance and winked at Angela, she had this planned since she decided to cosplay as Blair. She kissed Lance on the lips, shocking the otaku, flashbulbs clicked wildly. Angela giggled. Lance's face was beet red, "I wasn't expecting that one!" Lance said as Angela and Ohno began posing for the camera. Lance felt a vibration in the hip pocket of his outfit, excusing himself; he walked over to the side.

"Hello?" Lance said. A familiar and unwanted voice spoke from the other end.

"You know how easy it is to find a bunch of costumed weirdo's in this area?" It was Ladd.

"Where are you asshole, I want to see you face to face! I want to see you so I can kick your ass in front of these people!" Lance said, Ladd laughed.

"I'm inside, just waiting for the right moment. I think when your buddy pops the question would be perfect, wouldn't you agree? "Ladd said. Lance moved through the crowd into the main hall, scanning the room he couldn't see him.

"Where are you asshole? I want to see your fucking ugly face before I bash it in!" Lance said Lance looked up and saw a flash of a gold wristwatch from the top the building. "The catwalk, should've known." Lance said and walked over toward the elevator. Riding to the top floor, he hummed a little "Hammer to fall" by Queen. As the doors opened, he didn't see Ladd standing right there.

"Hey buddy!" Ladd said, and thrust his fist right at Lance. The otaku dodged and the punk's fist collided with metal. Lance kicked him in groin. Bending at the waist Ladd coughed. Lance grabbed Ladd's shoulders and slammed his thigh into his chin. Ladd fell to the floor, and then sprung back up. Lance dodged Ladd's punches, and then gave him a roundhouse kick to the face. Ladd attempted to punch again but Lance knocked him to the ground. As Ladd rose up, Lance saw Ohno and Angela walk inside as Tanaka was manned the Genshiken booth with Oguie and Sassahara. Lance thought to himself on how to approach this.

"Dodge left hook, then roundhouse kick to the left side of his face dislocating the left jaw bone, right jab to the right side dislocating other jaw bone," Lance thought, "then grab rope holding banner and cut off air supply thus killing him." Lance continued just as Ladd was about to punch him. Lance kicked Ladd's face, dislocating his jaw, then grabbed the rope and wrapped it around his neck.

"Ohno-chan, there is something I have been meaning to tell you." Tanaka said Ohno looked at him; Comi-Fest was about to wind down. "We've been together for quite some time; I knew when we first met that I had met my soul mate. We've been through some crazy times but we have always been together and now I just have one question," Tanaka got down on his knees and pulled out the ring, "Ohno-chan, will you marry me?" Tanaka said, Ohno collapsed crying, holding his hand she smiled. "Yes Souichiro-kun I will, I will!" She said, people began to clap, Lance stood there smiling. Angela looked at him

"Where have you been?" She asked Lance smirked.

"Just handling some business with an old friend, we're fine now." Lance said as he watched the security guards walk to the elevator. The familiar voice spoke signaling the end of Comi-Fest, the gang made their way towards the door; Madarame had a bag full of dojinshi, most of it Hentai. Lance smirked, and hummed the bass riff to "Another One Bites the Dust".

Medusa stood at the tree that was Kuchiki. His bark was stripped; maggots and pus seeped from the bare spots. Medusa grabbed her syringe filled with black blood and pressed it into the soft fleshy tree. "This should bring you back!" she said, as she depressed the plunger Kuchiki made soft squealing noise as the maggots and pus began seeping backward. The tree started to lose form, branches formed into arms and legs, flesh grew where there was none. Kuchiki then let out a painful mewling sound as his bones snapped back into form, then he stood upright.

"Medusa, to what do I owe this honor?" He said as he walked over to her. Medusa smiled.

"It is time for you to bring justice to the world that has wronged you, o dark master." Medusa said, Kuchiki smirked and walked toward the edge of the forest.

"I have a score to settle in the mortal realm. There is a man that must pay for his insolence; he must pay with every pound of flesh in his body." Kuchiki said. Medusa laughed and began to open the dark realm, it was then she felt a shock of electricity race up her arm.

"No, it can't be? How did he get in?" Medusa said

"I hate to break this love fest up, but I can't let you continue. I am afraid you both are stuck there. Don't worry you'll both be just fine, I guarantee it." It was Stein.

It was then Medusa felt her legs grow heavy, and her body stiffen. Kuchiki watched as the black blood seeped from his body, and bark formed on his skin.

"No, Nooooooooo!" Kuchiki screamed. His body was now in tree form once more. Medusa watched as her own body became dark wood, and let out one gasping breath before her body finished its metamorphosis.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish!" Stein said and he turned to Kid who was in a Straight-Jacket a weeping Tsubaki by his side awaiting Black Star's return. "Now to get in contact with this Ryan fellow, I hope I'm not too late." Stein said and twisted the screw in his head.

"I bought you this at Comi-Fest." Angela said as she handed Lance a cane. It was dark oak lacquered with a wolf's head carved on the top.

"Angela why would you think I would need a cane?" he said, Angela pointed at the wood.

"Grip the wolf's head and you'll see." she said. Lance grasped the wolf's head and held the base with his other hand. There, inside was a sword, razor sharp, it glinted in the lamplight of the living room.

"It's Like Dr. Watson's from 'Sherlock Holmes'!" Lance said, and then another voice spoke up.

"You'll need that, especially where you're going." Lance looked up and saw Stein standing in the middle of his living room.

"You! How did you get here? Moreover how did you find me?" Lance said, Stein smirked and turned the screw on his head.

"There is some trouble in the spirit realm, big trouble. Your assistance is required." Stein said.

"How so, let me guess, Kid is having a breakdown?" Lance said.

"If you consider torturing and raping a fellow reaper a breakdown yes, then it is one. However we can't find Shinigami-sama, there was some of his blood on Kid's floor but we can't find him in our monitoring stations."

"Ok now we're in trouble. If the big guy is gone then," Lance started and then heard a sound like breaking glass coming from his office. Running toward the room he saw the fragments of a mirror and a Straight-Jacket.

"Not good, not good at all." Stein said. Lance looked at him puzzled.

"Do you mind telling me what's going on here?" Lance shouted.

"Kid has escaped, and if we don't find him, your realm is in trouble." Stein said as Lance gripped his cane and walked to the door.

"Angela, I have to go out. If anybody calls tell them I am out shopping or something. If I don't come back within the next two hours, come looking for me, got it?" Lance said. Angela nodded as the two reapers walked out the door.

_Meanwhile in an apartment across town, a young woman was celebrating her engagement, not knowing a black haired kid with white horizontal stripes was watching her waiting for the right moment to strike._

_TBC_


	22. Chapter 22

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 72 Kid Loses It

_Author's Note: None of this or any of my works would have been possible without the constant support and ideas of Lancetheflamesniper. I consider him a true friend and one of my greatest inspirations. Tonight's episode is for you buddy-Steve_

"I don't understand? Where is Shinigami-sama?" Lance said as he walked down the alleyway scanning the windows for shadows that shouldn't be there. Stein lit one of his cigarettes and took a drag.

"Kid and Medusa sent him to the dark realm; we've got a recon team going in there now. Our focus should be Kid; he could do the most damage here." Stein said. Lance coughed and waved away a puff of smoke.

"Mind putting that out, Frankie? I enjoy my lungs." Lance said as Stein put out his cigarette under his boot heel.

"I can tell you're not easy to get along with." Stein said as Lance looked up at the full moon.

"I am quite easy to get along with, just don't test me, more than likely you will get your ass beat if you do." Lance said and gave a wolfish grin.

Stein and Lance walked down the alley the sounds of cars driving down the street and, the familiar meows of cats in the darkness, filled the landscape. Lance didn't know that Kid was somewhere very familiar.

Ohno was in the living room, listening to Lady GaGa's "Telephone", and giddily dancing around the room with Tanaka. They had just gotten engaged that day during Comi-Fest and tonight they were celebrating. Ohno stopped for a moment to take a sip of the rice beer she had bought for the occasion and turned the music down. She sat on the couch and held her glass in her hand. Tanaka sat next to her and stroked her long black hair. "I am so happy right now." Ohno said as she took a sip and smiled at her fiancé.

"You don't know how long I have waited for this day; ever since you came to club I have felt some deep bond with you. I don't know how to describe it, like as if we were destined to be together, call it fate or whatever but I will never find another you as long as I live." Tanaka said and kissed her gently on the lips, Ohno gasped. It was then they heard a noise come from the bedroom, breaking the romantic tension. Tanaka got up.

"I'll see what it is, probably Madarame sneaking his way in." Tanaka said and walked towards the bedroom. Tanaka took two steps down the hall when he saw Kid step out of the bedroom his guns pointed directly at him. "Who in the fuck are you?" Tanaka said. Ohno heard the sound of gunfire and the thump of Tanaka's frame hitting the floor. Ohno raced towards the back of the apartment and found Tanaka clutching his shoulder, breathing in short shaky gasps, he was in shock.

"Tanaka!" Ohno screamed as she bent over his body. Cradling his head in her arms she watched as Kid moved closer to her.

"I am so sorry for shooting your boyfriend; however he would have got in my way. Everybody always gets in my way. I believe we haven't been formally introduced. I am Death the Kid but you can call me Kid or for this moment in time your executioner." Kid said and smiled, black blood dripping from his nose.

Ohno got up and laid Tanaka gently on the floor, his breathing was shallow but getting better. Backing away slowly she picked up a kitana she had hanging on the wall. Unsheathing it she pointed it squarely at Kid. Kid raised his hand, like a magnet he drew the sword to him and right out of Ohno's hand. Smiling Kid holstered his two guns and smiled.

"I'll give you a three second head start." He said. Ohno dashed off down towards the bathroom, Kid taking slow calculated steps began counting. "One, Two," Ohno looked out through the small sliver of light underneath the bathroom door, Kid stopped, his shoes left a shadow under the door. He began rattling the knob, Ohno screamed as Kid banged on the door. "Open up Ohno- chan, I'd hate to break this door." he said.

"Go away! What do you want from me?" She screamed. Kid smiled.

"I just want to see what your insides look like, that's all! I hear girls have such symmetrical organs!" he said and began rattling the door. Ohno reached for her cell phone and dialed Lance's number praying for an answer.

"So, you put that screw in there yourself or were you born with it?" Lance said just as the Kujibiki Unbalance theme played from his cell phone. Looking at the caller ID he saw Ohno's number.

"Hey Ohno how are you," Lance began Ohno cut him off.

"There's some guy, he's got stripes on his hair, and he shot Souichiro-kun. Please help me, please!" She said her voice quivering. Lance looked at the street signs; they were only two blocks away.

"Stay calm, I'll be right over there. Whatever you do don't move from the bathroom okay?" Lance said and hung up, turning to Stein he smiled. "We caught ourselves quite a big fish; he's two blocks from here." Lance said. Stein began to run Lance followed hoping they would get to Ohno in time.

Kid began to ease up on the door giving Ohno some hope. He was growing tired from his efforts; he then heard a familiar voice speak from the holsters of his guns.

"Kid, aren't you taking this a little too far?" Liz said. Kid just smiled.

"I owe a lot to you and your sister. I hope you'll forgive me for using you this way but this is something I must do." Kid said. Patty spoke up.

"You don't have to do anything, you can go to the spirit realm and fix this." she screamed. Kid scoffed at her.

"Father would never understand. its better this way. Now, help me blow the knob of this thing." Kid said and pointed the gun at the doorknob. Patty froze up and forced herself not to discharge any bullets. Kid pulled the trigger and heard a click. "Damn it Patty, quit playing games!" he said.

"It's over Kid! Put the gun down and come with us, you have no choice." Stein said. Kid picked up the katana and raced toward Stein. Stein raised his hands and a bolt of electricity flew from the palm, zapping Kid in the chest. Kid fell down on the ground and screamed, smoke drifted from his blazer. Kid stood up slowly, Lance had his cane unsheathed. "Don't make me use this Kid!" Lance said, Kid picked up his Kitana and raced toward Lance, screaming. Lance jumped in the air, somersaulting over Kid and winding up behind him. Kid spun and clashed his sword with Lance's. Lance held his ground as Stein walked toward the bathroom to check on Ohno.

"You can't win this, reaper!" Kid shouted, Lance grunted and knocked Kid to the floor. Kids sprung up their swords were inches from each other's throats. Lance kicked kid in the groin, causing him to fall on the floor. Lance glanced from the corner of his eye; Ohno was being led safely out of the bathroom, and escorting Stein to Tanaka. Kid stood up and clutched his groin. "That hurt like hell!" Kid said Lance smiled.

"This will hurt worse!" And slashed Kid's left hamstring severing the muscle. Falling to the floor, Kid screamed in pain, Lance strode over to Kid as he feebly tried to stand up, and slashed the other.

"How's that for symmetry, motherfucker!" Lance said and draped Kid over his shoulder. Kid screamed and began pounding on Lance's back. Bending over Tanaka, Stein smiled.

"He'll be okay; he just lost some blood, Ms. Ohno could you please stand back for a second, and shut your eyes." Stein said as he placed his hand on Tanaka's wound. A blazing white light poured from Stein's hand, Tanaka gasped and then sat up.

"What's going on?" He said as Ohno wrapped his arms around him. Tanaka smiled just as Lance and Stein walked over to the bedroom mirror.

"We'll be right back; we just gotta take care of this little bastard." Lance said and stepped through the mirror with Stein in tow. They were greeted by a man in a familiar skull mask.

"I am highly disappointed in you my son. This is why you are going to spend time in the dark realm as punishment." Shinigami-sama said, as he stood up and walked over to the wall of TV monitors. "The new dark realm has been completed; it is modeled after an insane asylum. You will be spending time in Ward A, the ward for the less serious offenders. I should have sent you to Ward C but this is a special case. You will remain there for thirty mortal days, and then you will be tested to see if any madness remains. I hate this but my son it is for the best. Take him away, Dr. Stein." He said pushing the catatonic Kid in a wheelchair to the dark realm. Shinigami-sama looked at the monitor inside Lance Ryan's house and smiled. He loved that reaper like a son; hopefully there would be a place for him somewhere when he shuffled off his mortal coil, if he ever could.

Lance next to the phone, a familiar voice was on the other end.

"Why should I come all the way to Kent to help you? You almost ruined my life remember?" Lance said to Dr Pleasance. Pleasance laughed.

"Mr. Ryan, the Kent Paranormal Society is your creation. We want to make sure our team is up to your standards. If you feel we are not satisfactory then we can change things around." Pleasance said.

"How much is Lefton paying me?" He said. Pleasance ruffled through some papers.

"About 1.2 million dollars, sound good?" Pleasance said. Lance smirked.

"I'll be there with bells on!" Lance said and imagined kicking Tilden's ass for the second time.

_End of Season 6_

_TBC in season7_


	23. Chapter 23

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 73: Angela in Wonderland Part one

_For Lancetheflamesniper, this one has been a long time coming and hopefully was worth the wait-Steve_

"I guess they can come if they want, I don't see why though after all the shit they did last time?" Lance said as he sat in his office looking over Shinigami-sama's plans for a new dark realm called "The Arcanum." Angela smiled.

"I just feel this would be a good time for the gang, I promise they will be on their best behavior." she said. It was then she saw the rabbit hop from under the desk. "Bloody hell, did you see that?" she shouted. Lance looked around.

"See what? All I see are some plans for a new dark ream and a wife who is bugging the living crap out of me right now." Lance said, taking a sip of his iced tea.

"There was a bloody rabbit under your desk!" She shouted. Lance brushed her off with a wave of his hand. Angela never understood why her husband could get as her mother would say "A tad bit shirty" when it came to the dark realm but that was the nature of a reaper's job. Angela walked down the hallway, peering into Negi's room, sleeping like an angel as always. It was then the rabbit hopped out from under his bed and raced down the hallway, his pocket watch dangling behind him.

"Hey, wait up!" Angela shouted as she raced toward the bathroom of their house. There in the middle of the floor was a hole, a rabbit hole that hadn't been there before. "Hey, stop!" she shouted and then tripped on the edge of the hole, falling face first.

Angela fell for what felt like hours, the sounds of clocks ticking, and the scent of earth surrounded her. When she landed she looked around and found herself on a checkerboard floor. There standing in the middle of floor was the rabbit, which took one look at her and scampered off. Angela raced towards after the rabbit but found her running towards an earthen wall. Her head collided with a tree root and she fell down.  
>"Bugger, what in the hell is this place?" She looked down and saw a small door almost like the cat door she had in her apartment in London. Getting up she looked around and saw a bowl of Ramen sitting on a table. Picking up the bowl it had a note taped to the side. "Eat me" was all it said. Picking up the chopsticks she slurped down a mouthful of noodles. The taste left something to be desired.<p>

"Aw god that tastes like something me mum would make for breakfast!" Angela said and then watched at the bowl grew smaller. "Bloody hell what now?" she said as she watched herself grow taller her head nearly reaching the ceiling. "Rule number one, free Ramen is a trap." She said, and looked at the bottle of Sake on the table. "Let me guess, this one makes me small and says drink me on the bleedin bottle?" She picked it up and saw her theory was right, drinking the entire bottle she felt herself grow down to size, and not stopping. "Rule number two, there is no such thing as free Sake!" She said as she stepped out of the puddle that was her pants.

"Okay Lovett, you will be just fine, just calm down and find your way out of here." Angela said as she walked towards the small door in just her negligee she was hoping to surprise Lance with.

It was then she saw the world around her, brightly colored flowers that looked like something out of Oguie's manga danced in the breeze. Softly they whispered about her, saying something about how she had returned. It was then she ran into the two lumps of flesh that were, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum only they didn't look like them.

Tweedle-dee had short messy dark hair while Tweedle-Dum had undergone some kind of gender reassignment surgery and had her hair tied in a pony tail. It was then she could place the faces to the bodies. "Chika, Kanji, I must be dreaming this, am I?"

"I wish you would stop talking about those bishounen flowers all the time, I don't give a crap how they pollinate." Sassahara-tweedle said as he punched Oguie-tweedle in the arm. She slugged him back.

"Baka! I think Alice just said something!" Oguie said as she looked at Angela, who looked perplexed.

"Alice? Who's Alice?" Angela said. Sassahara smiled and rubbed her head with a meaty paw.

"You're Alice, silly! Now what was it we were supposed to do with her?" Sassahara said. Oguie slugged him again.

"We're supposed to take her to see Absolem, the caterpillar remember Baka!" Oguie said.

Sassahara nodded and walked with his supposed sister, with Angela following behind. "I don't think you get something here?" Angela said.

"Aw look at those two flowers pollinating, I should come here and draw them more often." Oguie said as her brother rolled her eyes.

"Baka, Baka, Hentai, Baka!" he muttered under her breath. She then bopped him on the noggin. Sassahara grunted and continued walking.

"Hello, I don't think you're listening to me! My name is not Alice!" Angela said just as the smell of burning tobacco filled the air. There sitting on a leaf was a blue caterpillar with glasses. The caterpillar was smoking from a hookah. Angela recognized him immediately.

"Who are you?" The caterpillar said taking a drag and then blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Negi, what in the bloody hell do you think you're doing. That's bad for your lungs!"

"No, my name is Absolem, silly girl." The caterpillar that was Negi said.

"No your name is Negi Ryan and you should not be smoking like that, now hand that thing over!" Angela said as Absolem blew smoke in her face.

"This is not Alice; I have told that rabbit before to check his sources. Leave me, and if you touch my hookah, I will not hesitate to hurt your hand in some way." Negi-Absolem said.

"I told dumb and dumber here that my name wasn't Alice." Angela said.

"Why didn't you say so?" Sassahara said. Angela sighed and walked between the two lumps.

"Where are you going?" Oguie said as Angela gave them both the British equivalent of the middle finger.

"This is just a dream Angela pinch yourself and you will find you're in bed cuddling with the one you love." Angela said as a giant bird flew overhead. In the distance she could hear the screams of the Tweedles that looked like her friends Sassahara and Oguie but that wasn't possible. Looking up she could see the bird with the fat lumps in each talon. She shrugged and smiled to herself. If she could find her way out of here, that would be a treat. It was then she saw the legs of a table staring right in front of her. The feet were clawed and the scent of tea was in the air. In the background she could hear some mumbling and groaning as if someone was bored out of his or her mind. "Hello?" She shouted, just then she heard a voice, almost high pitched and silly, laugh from the table.

"Our guest of honor has arrived finally!" The voice said as the table rattled and a figure in tattered brown dress slacks and knelt down and looked at her. His hair was bright blue and flared out from his top hat. His skin was pale white and his eyes were large and shockingly green.

"Alice, you have finally come back!" The man said. The man looked like a LSD induced version of Lance, her husband.

"Okay, let me guess, you're The Mad Hatter Right?" Angela said as the man took off his hat.

"At your service Alice my dear, you know ever since you left I almost went gallywoggers." Lance said and picked Angela up. As he sat her on the table she noticed the ramen from before sitting in front of her. Taking a bite of the noodles she felt herself grow larger and soon the table was on the verge of collapse.

"Oh dear, you naughty girl, I should have warned you about the Ramen. Here, hop off before you hurt Mr. Teak" He said as Angela hopped off the table and landed in a chair next to the Hatter.

"I must say, you are not as muchy as the old Alice. The old Alice had much more muchness." The Mad Hatter said as he took a sip of his tea and bit down on the cup.

"Well you see," Angela said as she watched the Mad Hatter chew and swallow the tea cup shard, "my name is Angela; Alice is my sister, my twin sister." Just then a voice shouted in the distance.

"Hatter!" It was the leader of the royal guard and the Red Queen's right hand man, his name was Stayne, Knave of hearts. Angela notice the boy looked a lot like Kousaka.

"Alice or not, hide quickly my dear, because this man is dangerous!" The Hatter said, and Angela hid under the table.

"Hatter, where is she?" Kousaka said, as The Hatter sipped his tea and took another bite out of his cup.

"Ah, well isn't it the bloody big head's bitch. Tell me how goes it on the snob grounds?" The Hatter said as he swallowed his bit of tea cup.

"We know she's here, so give her up. Don't make us call the Bandersnatch!" Kousaka said. The Hatter let out a laugh.

"I don't think you understand. I have no idea where she is. If I did I would let her come and see you and your shortcomings. Is that why the other guards make fun of you?" The Hatter said.

Kousaka growled. "Unleash the Bandersnatch!" He shouted and a huge furry beast raced toward the Hatter. The Hatter fired a beam of energy at the Bandersnatch causing it to yelp in pain. The beast ran towards The Hatter and he pulled out one of his needles from his hat and jammed it into the beast's eye. Roaring the beast lay down and whimpered.

"Bandersnatch come!" Kousaka shouted and the beast limped toward its cage. "We'll settle this later Hatter, next time bring us the girl." Kousaka shouted as his entourage left. When they were a sufficient distance away, The Hatter looked under the table and smiled.

"Come out now, Angela, there's nothing to fear!" The Hatter said Angela stepped out and smiled.

"I didn't know there were things like demon reapers in Wonderland?" She said.

"There is nothing of the sort; I just got these powers as a gift from The White Queen. By the way we should run off and see her, she probably wants to fix this whole thing" The Hatter said and adjusted his hat. "Perhaps we should take an alternate form of travel." He said and unveiled a motorcycle.

"Hop on and hold tight!" The Hatter shouted, and revved up the engine.

"Now I know this wasn't in Alice in Wonderland!" Angela said. The Hatter smiled.

"Who said this was a normal wonderland?" The Hatter said.

_TBC_


	24. Chapter 24

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 74- Angela in Wonderland part 2: Enter the Queens

_For Lance- One of the people who keeps me going._

The Red Queen was sitting on her throne, a small projector rolling a bit of security footage caught by one of the camera bugs in the castle. In it a small rabbit was strapped to a table, its eyes forcibly held open as it images flashed on a screen above him. As the footage died down the she turned to her man at arms Stayne and flashed a smile.

"Tell me dear, did it work?" She said. Her man at arms shook his head.

"No, my lady it didn't work, we had him Romerofied two hours ago." He said. Since the reign of the Red Queen began, a lot of the residents who didn't submit to her will were "Romerofied" or turned into zombies, this was her way of keeping the populace in check. She sighed and shouted to one of her servants.

"Bring me my chubkins, my two chubkins, bring them to me now!" The Queen barked Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum waddled out; they were chained together at the leg. "Make me laugh chubkins; I need something to laugh about." she said.

"I don't understand what you mean? Making you laugh?" Tweedle Dee said, Tweedle Dum, bopped her brother on the noggin.

"Baka! Do you want to end up like that poor rabbit?" she said. Tweedle Dee responded by smacking his sister on the mouth. Angrily she slugged him in the chest. The two of them then collapsed on the floor and proceeded to fight on the floor. The Red Queen laughed and clapped her hands; it was going to be a good day.

The Mad Hatter's Motorcycle made an unforeseen stop in a clearing in the middle of the forest. Cocking his head to the left he tried to pick up the sounds of the monsters with his good ear. Angela tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, Lance, I mean Hatter, why did we stop?" Angela said. The Mad Hatter's voice got suddenly gruffer and had a distinct Scottish accent.

"Here be the walking dead, one must take care when dealing with those who cease to live." He said. One of the zombies shuffled itself out of the row of trees; Lance reached into his pocket and produced an extremely large, pump action shotgun. The gun made a clicking sound as The Hatter pumped it and fired at the zombie's head. The head exploded, sending chunks of brain and bone everywhere. Angela screamed. The noise of the shotgun alerted the other zombies; the remnants of the Red Queen's experiments shuffled their way out. Knowing they were out matched The Hatter revved his Motorcycle and drove off. The Zombies switched in to modern mode and began to chase the two travelers. The Hatter turned around and fired, knocking some of the zombies to the ground and blasting some of them to kingdom come. The Hatter pulled out a .44 Magnum for Angela.

"It would behoove the young lady to use this!" The hatter shouted. Angela grasped the gun and cocked the hammer. Firing she nailed one of the zombies in the head, she let out a cheer.

"I got one!" She shouted, The Hatter tipped the brim of his hat.

"That's great girl, don't get cocky!" And then watched as the Motorcycle ran over a large rock and tumbled end over end, spilling it's riders to the ground. The hatter picked up his hat just as a large zombie bunny grabbed a hold of his leg and picked him up over its fuzzy shoulder. Angela shuffled herself against a tree. The zombies started marching back to their home, The Red Queen's palace, humming the French national anthem. The Hatter shouted back to Angela.

"Go fifty paces North, you'll find the white queen there!" He said as his voice drowned out by the sounds of the zombies. Angela stood up and walked north, she had to find the White Queen soon, who knows what was going to happen to The Hatter.

The walk was a short one, The Hatter knew where everything was in Wonderland. As Angela approached where the Hatter said The White Queen's Palace was, she saw there was nothing but a large parcel of empty forest. Angela wanted to keep on walking but she couldn't, something was in her way. Just then a voice spoke from inside the clearing.

"Heloooo? State your business please, and if you're one of those bloody door to door salescases, bugger off." A cheery voice said.

"Uh, I'm Angela Lovett, I was told by the Mad Hatter to come here?" Angela said her tone unsure. Just then the Palace revealed itself. It was a cherry blossom lined stone structure, shaped like a temple she would see in Japan. Walking under the arch and up the steps, she could see posters of older, well built, bald men around the palace. The sounds of a Japanese pop band were playing from the speakers, it sounded like the theme to the gang's favorite show. It was then she was greeted by a girl dressed as Blair from Soul Eater, her long black hair topped by a large witch's hat. Angela knew who it was, it was Ohno.

"Ah our champion has arrived; I almost thought the savior of all otaku would never come." The White Queen said as she handed Angela a Bentou Box and sat on a large white couch. "Care to join me for some lunch and rice beer?" She said.

"Don't you usually get crazy after you drink that stuff?" Angela said. The White Queen shook her head and laughed.

"You must be thinking of another person, I don't get drunk period!" The White Queen said and took a swig of her beer. Angela shrugged; she had to remind herself she was no longer in Japan. Sitting down she opened her box and plucked out a croquette. The White Queen smoothed out her cosplay outfit and smiled.

"I had a feeling one of the Lovett girls would return here, I just didn't know which one." Ohno said finishing her rice beer and pouring herself another glass.

"What do you mean? The two fat twins thought I was my sister and even the caterpillar said I was the wrong one." Angela said pulling out a rice ball and nibbling on it, sipping her beer on occasion.

"Dear, let me tell you a secret: Absolem is not always right. He's just a kid after all, a smart one but just a kid none the less. The thing is your Father helped foster your love of this place as a child. Remember the bedtime stories he used to tell you, the books he read, anything like that?" The White Queen said. Angela remembered her dad reading _Alice in Wonderland_ to her and her sister for three weeks when they were young. He'd make funny voices and even did a pretty good girls voice for Alice, memories flooded back to her, making her feel warm and delighted.

"I remember that, those were the best moments of my life." Angela said as The White Queen finished off her second rice beer and began her third.

"You see, you were born to be our Champion. I knew it as soon as I sent the White Rabbit. Besides, your sister is quite a, what's the word for it? The White Queen said tapping her finger against her cheek.

"A whore?" Angela said. The White Queen clapped her hands.

"Yes that is quite it, now I don't know if you know this but, Wonderland has been in great peril since the Red Queen Arrived." She said and slugged another rice beer down and poured herself another glass.

"Now the Red Queen, came here from the Northern Lands, she was banished there by my father for her cruelty towards people who didn't respect her views on how they should live. She basically uses her palace for an Otaku re-education program. She wants to rid Wonderland of all Otaku for some reason although it is unclear to me why. She has a champion herself you know. A great big dragon called a Jabberwocky and she plans to use it and her zombies to destroy me and my palace. That's where you come in."The White Queen said.

"What am I supposed to do?" Angela said noticing that the girl was on her fifth rice beer now.

"Just use your powers, all you have to do is believe in yourself and you'll activate them." The White Queen said and got up from the couch. Opening a case she pulled out a pair of cat ears. "These should help!" The White Queen said and placed them on Angela's head. Suddenly her negligee turned into a maid outfit, accentuating her breasts and leaving nothing to the imagination. Angela laughed.

"You're serious? This outfit will help me defeat The Red Queen?" Angela said. The White queen nodded.

"My costume designer made it himself. He's going to be my king when this is over. He has been held captive by that bitch sister of mine for three years, forced to make her gowns and dresses that look like they come from Paris." She said. Angela stood up and smiled, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

In a dungeon somewhere in the Red Queen's palace the sounds of a harmonica came wafting out. The Mad Hatter was wailing away on the instrument as the other's clapped their hands to their ears.

"No appreciation for music at all!" The Mad Hatter said and set his harmonica down. No one told him the thing was off key and disjointed sounding.

"Hatter! The Queen wants a word with you!" A guard said, the hatter got up and felt the handcuffs go around his wrists. He stepped into the main chamber with a sour look on his face. The Queen looked at him pleased. The guard pressed on his shoulder forcing him to kneel down in front of the Queen.

"You've caused me quite a bit of trouble. I guess you'd want to know your sentence for your insolence." The Red Queen said. The Hatter smirked.

"Anything is better than staying in your rat infested hell hole you call a palace! Do your worst!" The Hatter said. The Guard returned with large headphone bugs . Shoving them into the Hatter's ear the dreaded sounds of Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner" began to play.

Somewhere in the far off distance, a scream was heard.

_TBC_


	25. Chapter 25

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 75: Angela in Wonderland-The final chapter

_Author's note: I hope you all have been enjoying this brief yet rickety Segway before the season's climatic crossover arc with Kent Paranormal. Just as a side note, Kent Paranormal season 1 will conclude with an arc tentatively titled "To Kent a Predator" which will involve the titular alien being from the famous film saga. Thanks for your patience and cooperation on this story- Steve  
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The Red Queen sat and watched the video monitor. She had thought that the Mad Hatter had no way of removing the torturous ear bugs, but she forgot about his needles. As he jammed the large hatpin into his ears the bugs made a squee sound, he squished them under his pale fingers. He then turned to the camera and flipped the queen off.

"That's it; I have had enough with this bullshit!" The queen said and turned to her man at arms. "Stayne darling, be a dear and tell the axman to prepare the chopping block. Off with his head!" She shouted. Stayne raced off, he hated her when she was mad. More often than not he wanted to read the forbidden books of Manganan and play adult games of cards but she wanted him to stay away from Wonderland's otaku friendly past, and she wanted to fuck like a bunny all the time. Every fifteen minutes or so she'd make a comment on how she was hot for him or he looked good in that suit of armor. She was one horny bitch and he hated her for it. He was more attracted to the White Queen than he was her sister but he could not get away from her, or could he. Walking over to the axman's cottage, he saw a dodo bird sit on a gnarled, leafless tree. This dodo bird was wearing round spectacles; in his wing was a copy of a book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" printed on the cover in raised blue letters. He was not of this world.

"You there, what part of Wonderland do you hail from?" Stayne said.

"Wonderland? No my dear boy I hail from Ohio, Coshocton to be exact. I take it you hate your job?" The dodo bird said placing a bookmark with a small man who had mushroom on his head in the book.

"Yes, how did you know?" the Knave said.

"Trust me the superdodo knows all. How did I wind up here you ask? I just float from realm to realm looking for ideas. I am a storyteller and one must always be on the lookout for good stories. Trust me, betray her, it will make for good drama. As for the axman, you can see him, but I doubt it will do any good. That Hatter is a wiley one; he'll get out of it. Anyway this area is boring, if you will excuse me I saw a nice perch on the mountains north of here and Steig Larsson and I are just getting comfortable. Tah tah." The Dodo said and flew off his wing still clutching the paperback. Stayne walked back to the castle to the dungeon and went to the Hatter's cell. He was resting on a tuft of straw.

"Psst Hatter? Hey, Hatter?" Stayne said. The Hatter looked up.

"Bugger off!" He said, and then heard the tumble of the lock opening on his cell. "What in the bloody hell are you doing." The hatter said as Stayne removed the prisoners bonds.

"Go to the White Queen, I am going to convince the big head to attack early, I don't know why, but her sister seems to have found her champion, I can feel it." Stayne said.

"May the Otaku gods shine upon you this day, good sir!" The hatter said and gave a V for victory sign. Stayne returned the gesture and raced upstairs.

"So it has come to this eh?" The Red Queen said as she sat in her plush throne.

"Yes m'lady, she had found her champion and wishes to battle as soon as possible." Stayne said kneeling down and propping his hands on his sword.

"Prepare the troops, if she wants to die, so be it!" The Red Queen said and got up to prepare the Jabberwocky.

"I am nowhere near the blasted castle, by now the queen will have decimated her!" The hatter said, it was then he looked up and saw a dodo bird sitting on an oak, a copy of Stephen King's "Cell" in his wing. The dodo was a blond color and had his head feathers wrapped in small ponytail and had a small tuft underneath his lower beak.

"I know a way there!" The dodo said and sat his book down.

"Really, how?" The Hatter said. The dodo pushed up his glasses.

"Take this mirror and set it on the ground, if you truly think about it, you will arrive." The dodo said and pulled a mirror out from under his bottom.

"How do you know these things?" The hatter said.

"The dodosniper knows many things. Speaking of things, have you seen my friend, he wears glasses and was reading a thick paperback?" The dodo said.

"No haven't seen him at all. Thanks for the mirror though." The Hatter said and sat it on the ground and jumped on it. He disappeared quick as a flash. Just then, the dodo with the glasses arrived.

"Lance, do you ever get the feeling that authors write themselves and their friends in their work too often," The superdodo said, "I mean what if what we are doing right now is all some whacko twenty-three year old college student's fantasy?" Lance and the superdodo looked at each other.

"Nah." They said in unison and picked up their books.

"The neat thing is that your undergarments turn into weapons!" The White Queen said as she observed Angela in her sexy maid cosplay outfit.

"My undergarments, like Panty and Stocking?" She said. The White Queen tilted her head in confusion.

"It's an anime where I am from; two angels fight monsters with weapons that manifest themselves from their undergarments." Angela said.

"You sure come from a silly place." The White Queen said just as a thud came from the courtyard. The doors burst open. Brushing leaves off himself, the Mad Hatter flipped his top hat off his head and watched it roll down his arm before catching it with his hand.

"M'lady, your humble servant awaits your orders." The Hatter said.

"Thank Miyazaki you are all right! Did she torture you?" The White Queen asked.

"A little Suzanne Vega ear bugs, but I got them out. We have a man on the inside." The Hatter said.

"Really, who is it?" Angela said.

"The bloody big head's right hand man. He told me he had a sixth sense you were ready so he's starting the battle early." The Hatter said.

"Bloody Hell!" Angela shouted.

"Now, now dear, you know what to do. Just believe in yourself and things will work out." The White Queen said, and then tilted her head to hear the goose-stepping of the Red Queen's army. "Ready the troops, this is our time." She said.

Angela stood in the wings watching the troops assemble; The Hatter had a shy look on his face, his chalk white skin in the Queen's candlelit chamber made him look ghostly. If it were not for his lean, strong frame, he would look like death warmed over.

"I want you to know that whatever happens, I will always be with you, always." He said. Angela walked up to him and looked him in the eyes.

"Could you spare a kiss for luck?" Angela said. The Hatter smiled. He pressed his mouth to hers, passionately kissing her, just like her Lance would.

"Battle Stations!" A small mouse dressed in a small chainmail cloak said. Angela stroked the Hatter's shock of blue hair and smiled. Together hand in hand they made their way to the battlefield.

The Red Queen stood at one end, her men dressed in blood red cloaks made by Vera Wang and armor designed by Alexander McQueen stood at the ready. The White Queen was at the opposite end her men dressed in simple armor and chainmail.

"Give up now sis, this otaku thing will destroy us all. Give up and submit to my will." The Red Queen said. The White Queen smiled as Angela stepped forward.

"I have my Champion, where's yours?" she said. The Jabberwocky made large thunderous steps towards the front. He was a large man; his face made him almost French looking. Angela recognized him immediately; he was the gang's sworn enemy, one that would never die.

"Not you again, didn't we kill you a few years ago?" Angela said. The Jabberwocky laughed.

"Never met you before in my life, I suggest we end this now." He said. The Red Queen raised her sword.

"Attack!" She shouted, and the battle began.

The Jabberwocky pulled a knife out from under his scaly thigh. Tossing it from hand to hand, he raced towards Angela. She dodged, somersaulting and landing on the body of a dead red cloaked solider. Angela slid her stockings down off her thighs and snapped her wrist. The two swords appeared in a flash of light she ran towards the Jabberwocky slicing two of the Red Queens men in half. Blood and viscera littered the grounds. Jumping in the air, she planted her feet on the Jabberwocky's chest. She raised her swords and slammed them both into his neck. The monster man made gurgling sounds from his neck throat. Slipping off her panties and snapping her wrist again, she pressed the gun to his head.

"Say goodnight, Kuchiki, again!" She said and pulled the trigger. Blood and brains spattered the battleground, the fighting stopped.

"No, not my beloved Jabberwocky!" The Red Queen shouted, she did not even notice the Hatter behind her. He sliced off her head with one swish of his sword.

"Off with your head, bitch!" The Hatter said and spat on her body. The Battle was over; good triumphed over evil and soon all would be normal. Just then, Angela's body began to shake uncontrollably. A voice called her in the distance, it sounded like her husband.

"Angela wake up, you need to get packed! The Jet leaves in less than twenty-four hours!" Lance said. Groggily she looked up, a piece of paper clung to her forehead.

"How long have I been out?" She said.

"Three hours, we got an early flight to Cleveland tomorrow, remember?" Lance said. Angela smiled weakly.

"Okay love, no need to get your knickers in a bunch." She said and looked at the papers in front of her; she read the title aloud to herself. "An analysis of Lewis Carroll's 'Alice in Wonderland', that explains everything." She said and went to the bedroom to pack.

Meanwhile in Kent, Lance James and his friend Steven Shroyer lay in their rooms, dreaming they were dodo birds who read books, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.


	26. Chapter 26

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 76: Kent War I

_Authors note: It has been a while since I last visited the Club Room and I feel that today is as good a day as any to get back on the wagon. This this is for lancetheflamesniper who got me started and I hope I never finish_

_Kent State Airport 12:53 PM_

Sam Pleasance stood at the edge of the tarmac as the jet President Lefton ordered slowly taxied to a stop. He has hired Lance Ryan to come and whip his team into shape; they were good but not at an optimum level where he wanted them to be. As the door opened, he saw that Lance Ryan was not only there but he brought along an entourage. Lance stepped of the plane, walked over to Pleasance, and shook his hand.

"I didn't expect this many people Mr. Ryan, I don't think the compound will hold them all!" Pleasance said. Lance smiled.

"You told me this was a one day job, no more no less; I figured my friends could use the trip." He said.

"It is Lance, it most definitely is, but they are civilians are they not?" Pleasance said.

"Yes all civilians. They have plans for the day and will not interfere I promise." He said

"Very well, I'll have a rental car sent for them; you and I will drive to campus us, in private." Pleasance said. Lance turned and walked over to Angela.

"Angie, try not to let the gang get in trouble. No drinking, parties, or women, okay." Lance said, Angela gave him a peck on the cheek and smiled.

"Sweetie, you know you can trust me, besides we have all weekend to spend here and," Lance stopped her,

"All weekend? I told you this was a one day thing." Lance said.

"That's not what Kouga said." Angela said as she pointed to the plane. There stepping out of the plane in a suit and tie was Kouga. Behind him, both equally well dressed, were Miroku and Sango.

"Aw hell no! How did they get here?" Lance said. Kouga smirked.

"We got in through the mirror in the bathroom. Sadly I had no choice in my traveling partners." He said. Miroku grabbed Angela's backside causing her to gasp.

"You cheeky bastard!" Angela shouted. Lance looked at Kouga.

"Him and Sango are broken up now, am I right?" Lance said. Kouga nodded.

"He is also with my ex, Ayame, thus complicating matters." He said.

"No shit, Dick Tracy. How in the hell am I going to explain this to Pleasance?" Lance said. Pleasance honked the horn of the SUV. Lance sighed. "Okay, let me handle this, come on." He said and walked them over to the vehicle.

"Who are these three?" Pleasance said as the doors slammed.

"Emissaries from the Spirit Realm, apparently Shinigami-sama would like a two day extension and brought these three along." Lance said as the seatbelt clicked. Pleasance threw up his hands.\

"Bloody hell, Ryan, I don't think this is necessary. I have more authority than Shinigami-sama, whoever that is and I sure as hell don't think," Kouga interrupted.

"Without Shinigami-sama, your organization would not exist. I suggest you treat us with some respect or we can have your organization shut down. We can make that happen I guarantee you." He said. Lance turned to Pleasance.

"I suggest you do as he says, I report to this guy and he is nothing to fuck with." He said. Pleasance sighed and started the car; it was going to be a long three days.

Steve sat in his room, the speakers from his iPod alarm Clock playing La Roux's "Bulletproof" while he was typing up a report. It was then he heard a knock at the door. As it hissed open, he saw Meier standing there, his shirt open, smiling.

"Thank god we're underground; your sparkle would cause a wreck on 59." Steve said as he turned around, letting a small chuckle out.

"Fuck you Steve." Meier said.

"No thanks, my gate doesn't swing that way. You look like you want to fuck me though. That was your plan wasn't it?" Steve said.

"No, no, I just thought I would dress more seductively. Maybe get some pussy for once." Meir said.

"What about that broad of yours, Charlotte? What about her?" The otaku said as he pushed up his glasses.

"She lezzed out on me before I got here, she had a girlfriend, Maka something or another. Used to go out with Soul Evans, she has a lawsuit pending in a spirit court; they are waiting on Japanese emissary to bring the girl there." Link said.

"What's the charge?" Steve said.

"Identity theft, some girl at Suiho University is impersonating her. Her really name is Sarah Wallace."

"I always wanted to nail Maka, too bad she's a dyke." Steve said.

"They broke up in 2009," Link, said, "She's back with Evans."

"There's hope for me yet." Steve said. The intercom went off in the room.

"All agents report to The Gymnasium right now." Stein's voice said. Steve shrugged.

"Must be something big going on?" Steve said as he got up and shut his speakers off.

"I heard rumors something was gonna happen today." Link said and Followed Steve out the door.

The Gymnasium was quiet. Lance James walked up to Steve who was standing in the middle of the room. The others were tittering about, wondering what was going on.

"Steve, my man, wondering what the hell is going on?" LJ said. Steve smiled.

"Yep, I wonder if it is something major, like The Crimson King or something." He said. It was then the doors swung open and the four reapers walked in.

"Lance?" Tilden said as his brother walked in. Lance just stood there. Pleasance's face came over the screen behind them.

"Welcome all. I know what you must be wondering; why are we all here? Well I will tell you. Kent Paranormal is in need of a tune up, bad. You are all not performing at an optimum level that I plainly saw from our first outing. Therefore, we have brought some help for you. The next three days will be spent on training once we feel you are adequate, and then it will end. It will be brutal and some of you may be injured. Now with that ladies and gentlemen. Let the games begin." The screen went blank. Lance smiled.

"Now I have the first round picked out. Steven Shroyer will be fighting Miroku, Lance James will be fighting Kouga, Kagura will fight Ayame, and Tilden Ryan will fight me. "Lance said as he put his iPad down.

"What about us?" Zero said.

"You all are residents of the spirit realm therefore you would have a handicap, save for Kagura, who is married to a mortal, we need some sort of system to even things out." Lance said.

"Fair enough, I just hope I don't get my ass handed to me." Steve said. Lance smirked.

_TBC_


	27. Chapter 27

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 77: Kent War II: Steve Vs. Miroku, Angela vs. the Police

_Authors note: This story has taken a back seat to some more darker and controversial work and I feel that now is the time to return to this story as sort of a pallet cleanser. This chapter is for my good friend Lancetheflamesniper whose constant love of this story will never end. _

Miroku stood at the other side of the training room. Dressed in his more traditional monk robe, he did a few stretches to limber himself up before facing Steve. The Otaku was dressed in his black battle outfit, the one he always wore when stalking the streets of Kent at night. It had been a few months since he had placed the black Kimono on and since then he had no use for it so it remained in his closet, alongside his various graphic tees and Hawaiian shirts.

"Are you going to stand there and pull your pud or are we gonna fight here?" Steve said, his fists poised to punch the monk in his lecherous face.

"I think you underestimate my powers." Miroku said.

"Underestimate this!" Steve shouted and raced toward Miroku letting out a furious cry.

"So that's how you want to play huh?" Miroku said and let out a burst of spirit energy. Steve leapt into the air, flipping over the monk dodging his attack. Miroku turned around and tried to punch him but Steve grabbed his fist and twisted it. Miroku placed a kick at Steve's groin, hitting him hard. Steve stepped back and let out a small cough of pain.

"You motherfucker!" Steve shouted.

"I would if she was alive, she was hot." Miroku said. Steve stared at him puzzled.

"Whoa, whoa, time out here. You can't really be serious. You'd actually sleep with your mother?" Steve said. Miroku responded with a large ball of energy that slammed Steve in the chest knocking him cold. When he came to, he found Miroku standing over him, his hand outstretched.

"I guess that ends your training? Miroku said as Steve got up.

"I guess. I really need to not take people so seriously." Steve said.

"Well according to the rules, once your training ends for the day you can go. Tomorrow we practice with weapons. I'll inform Lance." Miroku said.

"Whatevs, I have more important things to do than screw with some pervert." Steve said and went to his room to change.

Steve sat in his room nursing a bottle of hard cider while he was checking his Facebook page. So far, his stepmom's dad died, his stepsister was married and his dad was still a power hungry narcissist. His dad used to serve the Crimson King but found himself giving that life up in his later years to serve another evil, The Coshocton County Commissioners. He avoided that side like the plague. He had struck up a relationship with his mom's partner and her family and remained in contact with them. To him his life was a strange series of mishaps and horrors that sounded something out of a Stephen King novel. He looked at the clock, Lance was probably going to fight Kouga soon, and he wanted to watch. Clicking on his new PC, he typed in the security code for the training room where Lance and Kouga would be fighting and turned on the audio and video.

Kouga stood there, dressed in his fuzzy armor, he stood there as Lance prepared himself for battle.

"You ready human?" Kouga said.

"Born ready wolf boy!" Lance said. Kouga smirked.

"Show me what you got." He said and wiggled his fingers in a come get me motion. Lance raced toward him, landing a flying kick at Kouga's chest. The ookami fell down. He then performed a back handspring, flipping across the room. Kouga leaped in the air trying to kick Lance in the head, Lance grabbed the wolf's foot and flipped him over. Kouga sprung back up and tried to land some punches but Lance ducked and dodged like a pro boxer landing an uppercut knocking the ookami to the floor, his head hitting the ground with a thud.

"Had enough?" Lance said.

"I knew you were going to be tough, of course for someone who idolizes me as much as you do I would not expect any less." Kouga said.

"I had some practice." Lance said, Kouga bowed respectively to Lance and clapped him on the back.

"There's hope for this group yet." Kouga said and the two exited the training room.

_Six PM Kent State University._

Today had been good for Angela, well almost. It had begun with trips to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Great Lakes Science Center in Cleveland and now it had was turning. It all stemmed from Angela wanting to take a tour of the University to see what her husband had experienced. Right now, she was in a panic, Sassahara was missing, and they were standing in the middle of the Taylor Hall Parking lot, the site of the May 4 incident trying unsuccessfully to reach him on his cell phone.

"Come on damnit, pick up!" Angela hissed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ohno with a piece of sidewalk chalk and four of the club members lying on the ground. Snapping her phone shut, she spun around.

"Just what in the bloody hell are you doing?" She shouted. Ohno grinned.

"Just doing a May 4th cosplay." She said.

"I don't think you could cosplay a bunch of hippies getting shot!" Angela shouted.

"Hey now," a voice said, "Have some respect for the dead!" Angela turned. A brown haired, athletic young man in a Domo-kun t-shirt stood behind him.

"Oh, I am so sorry." Angela said in shock.

"No problem, personally I think the whole May 4th thing is a smudge this school should try to erase but never will. Name's Steve, Steve Shroyer." Steve said extending his hand.

"Angela, Angela Ryan. These are my friends Ohno, Kasukabe, Tanaka, Madarame, Kousaka, and, Oguie."

"Konnichiwa." Steve said bowing to the Otaku club.

"You know Japanese?" Angela said.

"What I've picked up from anime, my friend LJ is better than me at it." Steve said.

"Well, Steve, we're looking for one of our other friends and we can't reach him." Angela said.

"Hmm? You got yourselves in quite a pickle I would say. Maybe he's at Ray's; it's a bar near here."

"Ooh, a bar!" Ohno said.

"No, no, no! Lance said no alcohol. I don't want another incident like what we had the last time." Angela said.

"Come on, hon, it won't be that bad. I'll go inside and look for him you all stay outside. That is if you don't want to have a good time, and I am the king of good times."

"Okay we'll go, but no drinking, any of you. Is that clear?" Angela said.

"Hai, Angela-san." The gang said.

_6:45 PM, Ray's Place, Kent Ohio_

"Bartender, I'll have a Jack and Coke." Steve said sitting on a bar stool next to Ohno.

"Me too!" Ohno said.

"I don't think your friend would like you to have that." Steve said.

"Fuck her, she is such a prude." Ohno said. Angela was in the corner trying to contact Sassahara. The bartender sat down the two drinks. Ohno put the straw in her mouth and took a long drink.

"Oh no, don't do that hon." Steve said, Ohno looked at him puzzled.

"Why not?" She said.

"My grandpa told me once that drinking alcohol through a straw gets you drunk faster. Just sip it like this." Steve said as he sipped his drink. Ohno finished her drink and raised her hand.

"Another one please." She said. Steve's eyes grew wide.

"Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! Slow down." Steve said. Ohno sucked down her second drink faster than the first one. Angela sat next to him at the bar.

"Where are the others? Is she drinking alcohol?" she said.

"They're milling about, and no she is not drinking alcohol." Steve said smirking.

"Good, I tried to locate Sassarhara's cell phone and it was at some place called Cartwright Hall. Now it is at our hotel. How he got there I am not sure." Angela said.

"Probably, your husband picked him up." Steve said and sipped his drink as the bartender gave Ohno another glass. Just then, a scream came from the ladies room.

"You fucking pervert!" A young co-ed screamed as she rushed out. Madarame had walked out with his cell phone. A young man in a striped American Eagle shirt walked up to him.

"You fucking taking pictures of my girl's panties, perve?" The young man said.

"Oh no, not again." Angela said the man had just socked Madarame in the face; another scream shook the room as Kasukabe was pulling the hair of another girl.

"Hit on my man again I dare ya!" She shouted.

"Get off her you crazy bitch!" The girl's friend shouted. Ohno was now behind the bar and guzzling Budweiser while the bartender called Kent police. Steve slipped out quietly. Angela walked up to the girl who accused Madarame of snapping a picture of her panties.

"Miss, I am sure it was a misunderstanding." Angela said.

"Fuck off!" The girl shouted.

"Well look at it this way, if you didn't dress like a tart, he wouldn't have done it!" Angela said.

"Fuck you bitch!" The girl said and spat on the British woman.

"Oh that's it!" Angela said and punched the girl in the face just as the Kent Police arrived.

Lance Ryan was just about to fight his brother when his cell phone rang from his backpack.

"Hello," He said. "What? Where? I'll be right down!" Lance said and snapped his phone shut.

"Problem bro?" Tilden said.

"They did it again, only this time my wife got picked up too." Lance said as he walked out and hopped in his rental.

"God damn it Angela, what did I tell you!" Lance shouted.

"It was that Shroyer guy's fault. Anyway you said they weren't gonna press charges!" Angela said as she sat on the bed of Lance's hotel room.

"You can thank Sam Pleasance for that, he has connections here. Anyway I don't want to talk about it." Lance said and crawled under the covers.

"Okay, look I fucked up. Can you forgive me?" Angela said.

"It's hard not to." Lance said and smiled. His cell phone rang, the caller ID was Ohno. She was looking for her cat girl cosplay outfit. Lance hadn't seen it, told her so, and hung up. Shutting off the light he felt something slick on his face, then a "Meow."

"Angela is there a cat in here?" Lance said.

"Pet's aren't allowed in here." Angela said. Lance felt hardness against his leg.

"Did you bring your nightstick in bed?" He asked.

"I don't own a baton Lance." Angela said. Lance snapped the lights on and saw Sassahara lying next to him, dressed as a cat girl.

"Oh god!" Lance shouted.

"Meow." Sassahara said his breath tinged with alcohol.

"God damn it boy, get the hell out of here now!" Lance screamed. Sassahara stumbled out of the bed. Lance got up and slammed the door behind the drunk man. Looking over at the mini-bar he noticed the contents drained.

"What the hell is up with these people and alcohol!" he said and went to bed.

_TBC_


	28. Chapter 28

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 78: Kindle

_Author's note: I know I haven't updated this story in a while, I can explain. I am my own worst critic when it comes to ideas. The way I originally wanted this segment of the story to go was more action oriented but then I "wrote myself into a hole" and soon I avoided this story like the plague. If you read this story and you like it, just leave a kind review, if you don't… hey this is a free country and we are all entitled to our opinions (no flaming please). I know there are not many Club Roomers out there, as there are Soul Eater Cycle fans but for those that give this daunting story a chance, god bless. This chapter is for two people: My brother Matt who's own obsession with the dreaded e-reader got me thinking and my dear friend Lancetheflamesniper who kick started this whole thing-Steve_

_Twelve AM- Kent Quad_

"Just tell me what we're looking for again." Nick said as his friend Barry dug in the squishy earth.

"Simple, a rock for Dr. Morgenstern's Geology class." Barry said and tossed a shovelful behind him.

"Pick one out of the fucking parking lot dude." Nick said.

"It has to be special." Barry said.

"Whatever man." Nick said and popped the tab on his Four Loko. Barry's shovel made a small metallic thunk.

"Dude I found something!" he shouted.

"Ask me if I give a shit." His friend said. Barry rummaged through the small hole his hands becoming muddy; he then felt his prize and lifted it out into the pale light of the campus lamps.

"It's a fucking Kindle!" Barry said.

"Who the hell buries a perfectly good piece of shit like that?" Nick said.

"Whatever dude, you're just jealous!" Barry said.

"I'm going home, fuck you and I hope that piece of shit doesn't even turn on." Nick said. Barry shrugged and flipped open the red leather cover, it still worked. Looking at his watch, he thought to himself. Hunger was the most of his worries, he had little to eat all day and a Rathbun Burger did sound good. However, he had forgotten his ID; the security guards would never let him in. Walking toward Leebrick, he saw his chance; the garage door to the dock at Rosie's wasn't shut all the way. Walking up a small ramp, he crawled under the door and smiled. Now all he needed to do was get past the guard. Slick sounds of sex and Japanese anime girl moans escaped the laptop the guard was using.

"Hentai is a Powerful thing." Barry said and walked straight into the rotunda and over to the line for a kiosk.

_Rosie's Dining Room_

"I don't know how you get yourself into so much trouble Steve I really don't" LJ said as he sipped his milkshake.

"So I took some foreigners out for a good time, big fucking deal. You're not the one Ryan is going to chew out when this is all said and done." Steve said, cutting his grilled chicken into a small bite then swigging his Vault to amend the dryness of the food.

"I just wish there was some other way, you could have done it. I mean 'Ray's'? Sweet Jesus Steve, couldn't you have just called the police and found their friend?" LJ said.

"They'll find him, on the front page of 'The Stater' on Monday. Son of a Bitch was in a drag show." Steve said. Lance choked on his milkshake and pounded on his chest as he coughed. "Jesus, Lance, don't they have drag queens in Steubenville?" Steve said. Lance sucked in some air and sighed.

"We may, then again we may not. Steubenville has gone to shit since industry went packing." LJ said.

"No shit, same with Coshocton." Steve said. It was then a loud shout could be heard from behind the expediter.

"Who am I?" A young man in an apron and blue Kent Dining Cap shouted then threw a fryer basket filled with mozzarella on the floor with a clang. The kid then submerged his head in the deep fryer and stood there.

"Okey dokey, I think I have had enough food for today." Steve said and pushed his chicken aside. Just then, a young man with a laptop raced over to their booth, his face streaked with blood. In his mouth was the nipple of a young woman who now was slicing her fingers with an envelope.

"Rast, kawak nawkat!" The man hissed through his teeth. Steve slugged the man hard then ran over to the kitchen of Rosie's

"Dude let's get the fuck outta here!" LJ shouted.

"There has to be a student manager on duty!" Steve shouted.

"Fuck the manager, the place has gone bug shit!" Lance screamed.

"Good point." Steve said stopping to watch as a girl at the wrap station cut her left breast off with a yellow handled knife. Running to the pole in the center of the rotunda, they dialed in their keypad numbers and went underground.

_Cleveland Plaza Hotel 10 A.M_

"If I give you and the gang some money will you spend the day shopping?" Lance said.

"Depends, where is the nearest mall to Kent?" Angela said.

"Chapel Hill in Cuyahoga Falls. It should be programed into the GPS." Lance said rubbing his neck.

"Not much sleep huh?" Angela said. Lance sipped at his coffee.

"No, Ohno, Oguie and Sassahara fighting kept me awake for some time. I should get to Kent, you okay to drive?" Lance said.

"I have enough caffeine in me to power LA I am sure I can drive. Taking the Mirror?" Angela asked. Lance nodded and stood before the full-length mirror in the bedroom of their suite. Writing the word "Kent" on the mirror, he walked right on through. Angela looked at her watch, she wanted to get an early start, and traffic in Cleveland can be murder.

_KPS Headquarters_

"Thank god you're here bro!" Tilden said. The entire team was huddled around security monitors. Charlotte had her arm wrapped around Meir feeling his cold skin against hers, she was weeping. Zero stood alongside D and watched with arms crossed. Steve said on the couch, his laptop open.

"What the hell did I miss here?" Lance said.

"The end of the world, Lance." Kouga said walking up to him; Miroku and Ayame were sitting in front of a map of Northeast Ohio.

"What do you mean the end of the world," he looked at the monitors, "Fuck me." Lance said.

"Despite what Lisa Diamond says, right now I am not that fluid." Steve said making an overt psychology reference, no one would understand.

'Ha ha very funny asshole." Lance said.

"I saw a kid stick his head in a deep fryer. His whole fucking head, I don't think being funny would seem proper." Steve said. He then tapped his touch pad on his laptop. "Well It's official, they fucking found his Kindle." He said.

"One of those Amazon e-readers? Who exactly are we talking about here?" Lance said.

"The Crimson King, remember him, we fought him together." Steve said.

"Your brother? He's dead." Lance said.

"Let me give you some background here: CK aka Matt had a Kindle, he read those Twilight books on there. When he was with his dad, sorry, our dad, he had taught him to put some of his soul into it. When we killed, him Lance and I came back to our dorm and found it, so we buried it in the quad. Looks like some dumbass went digging and unleashed him at Rosie's." Steve said.

"How do these people go crazy though?" Yuki said walking out of the office with Stein and Pleasance behind him.

"I can explain," LJ, said, "If you read 'Cell' by Stephen King there is an event called 'The Pulse' that causes people to go crazy. Now that was through cell phones. This case it is Kindles or any kind of electronic media that has a Kindle app. Laptops, Macs, iPods, iPhones, iPad, you name it, it can be transmitted from it."

"I have to warn Angela, she was on her way to the mall in Cuyahoga Falls!" Lance said.

"More than likely if she got there her and your 'homies' are dead or cowering in fear." Steve said. Lance dialed Angela's number, no answer, just voicemail. The meep of a received text message filled his ear. Looking at it Lance started to tremble.

_Lance,_

_People are acting weird here_

_Lots of blood_

_We're safe _

_Please come to the mall_

_Angela._

"I have to go and save them." Lance said.

"Mr. Ryan by yourself you would be ineffective against the hordes of crazies." Pleasance said.

"I'm a reaper," Lance said, "I can handle this."

"No you can't," Kouga said, "Message from the big man: we and KPS are going out together. This will be their test."

"Shinigami-sama ordered this?" Lance said.

"Yuki got the message, hence why the three of us were in the office" Stein said.

"Okay, if he says it, I have no choice. But, I am not going to take any responsibility if anyone fucks up, got it?" Lance said.

"Whatevs," Steve said, " I just want to kick that sum bitches ass before he screws things up again." LJ high fived him.

"Suit up team, we got stuff to do!" Tilden said. The team beat feet to their rooms for supplies.

"Chapel Hill Mall is 8.97 Miles from here if we take 261. Depending on if we use our time wisely we could make it there today." Kouga said.

"We will be walking so it would be a good long jaunt." Steve said.

"Ya nervous Steve?" LJ Said.

"Nah, I walked from here to The Exchange in the rain, this is nothing." Steve said.

"I just hope we get there in time." Lance said.

"Enough Yabbering Ryan, let's get moving!" Steve said. The team took the elevator to the surface, expecting hell and hoping for heaven.


	29. Chapter 29

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 79: Ascension

_For Lance who believed._

_ Chapel Hill Mall_

The skeletal figure in the deep red cloak strolled amongst the corpses of consumer whores. From the food court the smell of rotten pork and singed hair wafted through the climate controlled breeze and everywhere there were signs of chaos. A voice spoke next to him, hoarse and liquid.

"Master, is it our time, has the one I seek arrived." The voice said.

"Soon Kuchiki, soon enough." The Crimson King pulled a piece of rotten flesh out his ribcage and put it in his mouth. He looked at his partner in crime. His body was covered in thin membrane, bones were visible but the tendons used to connect them were not attached. Veins and capillaries crisscrossed the membrane, making him look like a child in the womb. His eyes were still the deep set and maddening ones his victims faced years ago. He had made a deal with Manabu Kuchiki when they both were suffering in the dark realm, a deal which would both satisfy their need for revenge. It was the Kindle that did it, no doubts about it. The soul sliver, he had placed inside the name of his favorite character, Edward Cullen, was enough to bring him back. But of course his body was no longer flesh. Bound by dark realm, his flesh on this plane was becoming putrid. Foul smelling chunks slid off his body, all this while his brother was making his way slowly to the mall, where the nightmare would reach its peak. He looked at the Party Bus advertisement at the customer service kiosk and smiled.

"Care to see my powers at work?" he asked Kuchiki. The sub-human demon smiled and watched as the ad lost its focus. "Soon, very, soon"

_State Route 261_

Steve and LJ walked along the desolate road with a sense of confusion. None of their team mates were paying attention; none of them knew anything was going on.

"Where the fuck are the crazies?" Steve said.

"I know, from what we saw in Kent, there should be shitloads of them. Didn't King have a shitload of them in 'Cell'?" LJ said. They looked around, the highway was clear, no wrecked cars, no corpses, and no loonies. It was a surreal sight, more odd than the person slamming his head into the fetid fryer at Rosie's. Meanwhile up front, Tilden and Lance were having a similar conversation. The two were quite interested in Stephen King, having read a lot of his books while they were younger. Lance had encountered King like situations before. His friends had been trapped in some nightmarish recreations of his novels a year ago, this however was different.

"Maybe he's lost some steam?" Tilden said as he adjusted his pack.

"Not so sure, I mean I have faced a lot of odd shit since I started living in the land of the rising sun but this crimson king thing just confuses me." Lance said. It was then he slammed into the party bus with audible "Oof" Lance looked around. "How the fuck did this get here?" Lance said.

"Uh, UFO's from Uranus?" D's Hand said. He clenched his fingers around its mouth.

"It could be from you know who?" Yuki said.

"Likely possibility, quite likely, he must have an ulterior motive for this I am sure of it." Steve said.

"Like" Charlotte said.

"Like getting us there faster." LJ said

"Whelp," Tilden said, "Our mamma always said never look a gift horse in the mouth, so let's get the show on the road." Tilden said climbing aboard the bus. Taking the driver's seat, Lance looked at him.

"You know how to drive one of these?" He said.

"I have my CDL dumbass!" The brother replied as Lance sat down. The bus came to life and moved down the road to the destination, with its passengers fears rising.

_Waldenbooks, Chapel Hill Mall_

Madarame was walking aimlessly through the Graphic Novel section of the store looking for some tentacle porn. Today was a day for tentacle porn, and maybe some lolicon, but definitely tentacles. His anger grew as each shrink wrapped Manga he picked up featured two "pretty boys" in some kind of romantic posturing; making his way to the bottom shelf he saw nothing but American books.

"I fucking hate this goddamn country!" Madarame shouted.

"Give your dick a rest for a few nights Madarame," Oguie said, "Your wrists will thank you."

"I am so fucking horny I will rape anything that moves!" He continued to shout.

"Will you shut the bloody fuck up," Angela said, "Nobody gives a shit about your depraved emotions! I am sure there is a Victoria's Secret somewhere for you to go feel up the mannequins and spill your seed all over them!" Angela said rubbing her temples. Kasukabe was wandering through the magazine aisle looking at fashion tips, hoping something in them would suit her. She had he comi-fest costume picked out, she was going to be Maka Albarn while Kousaka was going to be Soul. It would be his first time cosplaying and she wondered how he would feel. They had been together since 2007 so a little over 4 years, she wondered about marriage and kids the most. How would she deal with it, how would she react? Kousaka told her to talk it over with Lance, which would be the best thing to do since he did have a master's in psychology. Looking at him resting on a box of incoming liquidated books she sighed. She had wondered how she had wound up in a situation like what had been happening for the past 3 years. Things of an odd and scary nature were becoming the norm around the Genshiken club room, she and others acquired powers that were beyond normal, and everywhere you looked there was this sense of menace. She could see Angela was growing tired of Madarame's shouting their eyes met and Kasukabe beckoned her to come to the magazine section.

"I don't know how much longer of being cooped up in here I can take." Angela said.

"A lot of people here would say the same damn thing; I haven't seen one of those things though so they may be gone." Kasukabe said.

"Should we venture outside? I mean just the two of us?" She said the blond haired girl looked around.

"Sounds good to me, I saw a back entrance that leads to a security hallway." Kasukabe said and wandered past the group, who were either bickering or sleeping" Stepping out into the hallway they softly closed the door behind them and relaxed.

"Heloooooo, Ladies" A familiar voice said, the two girls spun around.

"No," Kasukabe shouted, "Not you again!"

"Oh yes me again, and I have someone who wants to meet you." Kuchiki said, The Crimson King appeared, his flesh sliding off of him in steaming slabs.

"MMM, how sweet, fresh meat." He said and stuck out his putrid tongue licking Kasukabe's cheek.

"You sick bastard, when my husband comes here, he will…" Angela said, but the King waved his hands in front of their faces and put them to sleep.

"Take them to Game Stop; I want to greet my brother when he arrives.

_Parking lot_

Tilden pulled the bus to the entrance of the Mall, The doors hissed open letting in the oppressive heat that Mother Nature had brought to Ohio. Steve stepped out and adjusted his Katana strapped to his back.

"I can feel him, he's awfully close." Steve said.

"How close?" Lance said.

"He may be just inside. I suggest we get our weapons ready just in case. "He said. The group made its way towards the door and felt the cool blast of re-circulated air chill them. The scent of cooked flesh and coagulated blood filled the air. Limbs were strewn about the food court like confetti. A line of glistening pink intestine wrapped around the carousel. Kagura noticed a young man in the back of a restaurant with his penis in an onion slicer. Gristle and tissue hung from the blades and a bloody lump of meat was found in a prep pan. She shielded her eyes. Tilden rubbed her shoulder blades as a gesture of comfort and affection. It was then she heard the slick sound of flesh hitting the floor.

"Greetings and Salutations KPS and guests, I hope you are enjoying this display of wonderful art!" she spun around.

"He's over there!" She shouted. Crimson King stood there and held his hand up, a gesture of pause.

"Well there you are you son of a bitch I thought you died?" Steve said.

"I suggest your friends leave this area and go looking for their own. This is between you and me dearest brother. He said.

"No way in hell, CK, you face us or nothing." Steve said.

"I am afraid Mr. Ryan has more of an issue outside of this area than you do." The Crimson King said. Kuchiki's voice came over the PA of the mall.

"Attention all Chapel Hill Customers, There will be a live show at Game Stop in promotion for the eroge sale this week. Angela Ryan and Saki Kasukabe will be performing their new erotic snake charming dance. Warning, this is for those of a mature age and may contain sexual content. ID's will be checked!" Lance's phone beeped; looking at the screen he saw Kasukabe and Angela. Their wrists cuffed to the ceiling dressed in only their undergarments. He grasped the phone like vise.

"You son of a bitch! If you hurt them, so help me god-"Lance said, the Crimson King stopped him.

"Your problem is with my associate, not me. I suggest you hurry, those dimensional beasts can get randy!" The Crimson King said. Steve turned to Lance.

"Go, take the team with you, I can handle this." Steve said. Lance grimly nodded and ushered the team out of the food court in a sprint.

Kuchiki sat next to the PlayStation Three aisle as the watched the glowing bit of light fill the back of the wall. Angela and Kasukabe wriggled in their bonds. The first monster came out, a slimy pink octopus type thing with glowing red eyes and beaked mouth. Its appendages slithered down the carpet making contact with Angela's thigh. She let out an anguished scream. The monster made its way up to her bra attempting to pull it down to expose her breasts. Her crying grew more fierce and distraught. Kuchiki shouted at the monster.

"Plug her mouth up, she getting on my nerves!" The appendage slithered toward her mouth trying to push her jaw open. She darted her head back and forth, the beast grew angry and wrapped itself around her throat. In her gasping attempts it made its way in.

"Yess, "Kuchiki hissed maniacally, "Love it, make my pet happy!" It was then a loud and sickening squee was heard. The appendage dropped from her mouth.

"What the fuck!" Kuchiki shouted.

"Sorry Kuchiki," Lance said, "Tentacle porn is where I draw the line!" The beast slunk back into the portal, a trail of viscous blood and mucus behind it.

"So, you have returned Lance-san, I have waited for this day. The day where I would consume your flesh and become whole again, the day I would leave this wretched state!"

"Fat Chance, buddy!" Kouga said.

"Pipe down you mangy cur, I have more pressing matters to deal with." Kuchiki said.

"Deal with this." Tilden said and snapped his fingers. The bright red flame appeared between them, Kuchiki was mesmerized and confused, then watched as with a blow from Tilden's lips, the flame reached him and covered his half formed body. Kuchiki danced around, the membranes melted like sheets of plastic, his organs fell with a sickening plop. Once the flames extinguished themselves the remains sunk deep into the carpet. Lance raced over to Angela and untied her, while Miroku untied Kasukabe.

"Are you okay, I mean, like normal." Lance said.

"I think I should stop being so gung ho on these adventures." Angela said.

"Also," Kasukabe said, "Could you tell this guy to quit grabbing my tits." Miroku squeezed them gently. Ayame picked up a PlayStation 3 box and slammed it on his head. With Miroku over Ayame's shoulder, the group made its way to the Waldenbooks.

_JC Penny_

"You aren't fighting me, why is that?" Steve asked the Crimson King as they walked into The JC Penny.

"I am growing weak dear brother; our last encounter has left me a shell. As you can see my flesh is weak." He said.

"But why do all this? Why the destruction of humanity once again? Why do it, what drives you?" Steve said.

"This is why I need you; I need you more than anything in the world. You are my hope for salvation." The Crimson King said his voice now a hoarse whisper.

"How? What are you talking about?" He said.

"I never wanted to be this; I was forced into it by illusions of decadence. Our father tricked me, into believing that this life, this curse was the answer. I see now, I see this way is nothing but a one way ticket to the gates of damnation. A pain the dark realm cannot facilitate. Please dear brother, end my suffering." The King said.

"What must I do?" Steve said.

"The cross around your neck, give it to me." The King said. Steve's hand clutched the disciples cross Lance had given him, filled with fear he looked into the King's sallow eyes.

"Are you sure?" He said.

"Please." The King said. Pulling the leather strap off his head, The Crimson King slid it on his bony frame. Silently he began to pray in a foreign tongue:

" Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum, Veniat regnum tuum fiat voluntas tua sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie et dimitte nobis tresspassers sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo quia tuum est regnum et potestas et gloria, amen." White light radiated from his body, slowly his flesh melted and pooled onto the tile floor. Levitating he kept on repeating the prayer. Then his voice stopped and he looked at his brother and smiled.

"Gratias tibi, frater carissime" He said. His body exploded with a thunderous roar. Suddenly things began to move backwards, people rose and moved in reverse their limbs and blood flowing into them. The speed increased, blinding light filled the store and Steve felt as if he was being pulled by gravity. The force relented and soon he found himself in the day room of the KPS. Lance and his gang were eating sandwiches Yuki had made in the kitchen and sipping Dr. Peppers. Tilden was challenging LJ to a game of Street Fighter, and the three Spirit Realm emissaries were typing on their tablets, status reports.

"Time vortexes are fun ain't they Steve?" Mier said.

"What day is it?" He asked.

"Sunday, you've traveled a whole 24 hours into the future. Pretty kick ass huh?" The Vampire said.

"How, how did I do that?" He said.

"Well let's look at it this way, when your brother ascended he sort of caused a rip in the fabric of time so, the big skull masked guy fixed it. Of course you were the only casualty. We all got here normally." Mier said.

"The plane is ready Mr. Ryan." Pleasance said.

"Thank you Sam and I would like to let all of you know that Shinigami-sama has evaluated you all based on your teamwork and you have passed with flying colors!" Lance said. The group cheered loudly."

"Rest for a bit group," Stein said, "You may never know when we'll have a case."

"Yes Dr. Stein." The group said in unison.

_Somewhere in the Maximum security wing of the Arcanum an alarm went off, a bad one_

_TBC_


	30. Chapter 30

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 80: 1, 2

_For Lancetheflamesniper, a late birthday gift._

The bodies of the guards watching over the Arcanum Supermax wing were lying like ragdolls splattered with raw hamburger. Guards from the main control center and Shinigami-sama's footsteps made splashing sounds in the pools of blood.

"Who is all unaccounted for?" Shinigami-sama said looking at the scene.

"Prisoner 0-2768 Fredrick Charles Kruger, Prisoner 2-0965 Jason Voorhees, Prisoner 3-50023 Daniel Robitalle AKA Candyman, and Prisoner 5-0666 Pumpkinhead." One guard said.

"Whereabouts?" Shinigami-sama said.

"Unknown at this time sir, all sources show that they may have crossed over into the mortal realm." Another Guard said.

"Have the reapers on high alert, prepare them for what could happen. " Shinigami-sama said.

"Yes sir." The Guards shouted in unison

"And get Lance Ryan here right away!" He shouted and walked off.

_Tokyo Japan_

Lance lay in bed reading a book, a collection of Robert E. Howard's "Conan the Barbarian" Stories while Angela got ready to sleep. The plane ride back home for him was okay, comfortable but also filled with scolding the members of the club for their behavior. He had noticed Angela had a bit of unease about her. He could read her nonverbal expressions like a book, what happened in that Game Stop and the aftermath had done something to her. She stepped out of the bathroom and flicked off the light leaving the bathroom in a cold blue steel glow of an LED nightlight. Angela crawled into bed and laid her pillow down to rest. She stared blankly at the wall. Lance rubbed her back, and kissed her neck.

"If it's sex you want, then forget it, love." Angela said.

"What's wrong?" Lance said.

"Nothing is wrong, I just, never mind." Angela said and waved him off.

"Angela, you can talk to me. I know something is bothering you. I knew it when we took off from Kent. Was it the monster, at the Game Stop, was that it?" Lance said.

"I don't know why," Angela said, "But I feel different. Like a part of me has been stripped away, a vital part, you know. I look at you and your body, and nothing. But I think of that monster, how he almost took me, forced himself on me, and I get turned on. I feel I have lost the single thing that has kept me sane. I have lost my humanity." Lance sat the book on the night stand and sat his glasses down on top. He was confused, and a tad bit worried. He loved Angela, their sex life wasn't crazy but he got some every now and then which was good enough. To hear that she was now turned on by something out of a really cheap and crude hentai was a shock. He looked over at her. She was sleeping now, her breath slow and silent. He glanced over at the bathroom and saw the blue glow from the mirror, a signal. He sighed and went into the bathroom to take care of business.

_Somewhere in Tokyo_

Detective Hojo watched as the body was carted off to the morgue. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of Melon Pocky and stuck one in his mouth to chew. The murder was perplexing. The victim was a young girl, 16 years old, the mother found her with her throat and chest slashed. One of the crime scene techs jokingly referred to the bed as a giant sanitary napkin, one whose owner was having heavy flow. He had to reprimand the young tech but still, he got a chuckle out of it when thinking about it now. The mother had said she had heard the girl screaming, and ran to find her thrashing on the bed. She said it looked like she was wrestling with an intruder.

"You are going to the morgue?" Ox said as he and Hojo walked towards the car.

"I don't think I have a choice on this one Ox." He said.

"You don't believe the story the mom is telling?" Ox said shutting the car door.

"Well look at it this way Ox," Hojo said, "The girl was asleep. Unless she has a history of night terrors some kind of sleep disorder I can't really rule out the mom." He said chomping on his Pocky.

"You want me to have them get her records? " Ox said. The car's engine turned over and Hojo began to back out.

"That would be nice," He said, "Maybe after we visit Ishi in the morgue we can go get something to eat. I'm craving a Big Mac right now." Ox just sighed and let his partner drive.

_The Spirit Realm_

"Somebody fucked up somewhere, either human or computer, somebody totally was asleep at the wheel." Lance said.

"I brought you here because you are familiar with these four beings. I need to know where they would be hiding out." Shinigami-sama said. Lance chuckled.

"I didn't really pay attention to their movies so I can't be certain where they would go. There is a guy though at the KPS that could give you some advice. Steve Shroyer is a huge horror fan, loves the stuff." Lance said.

"You think Steve would be available to work for us? " Shinigami-sama said.

"More than likely, yes he can. All I can say is that Kruger is going to be the hardest to find." The Reaper said.

"How so?" Shinigami-sama said.

"Kruger's shtick is killing people in their dreams, hard to get to that area." Lance said.

"I'll give Stein at KPS a call after you leave. In the meantime keep an eye out for these guys." Shinigami-sama said.

"Will do." Lance said and walked out of the office. Little did the Reaper know about the other problem, the one that now was weighing on his bosses mind as he looked at the new print out about the escape. On the list was a name and number, Prisoner 6-6660 Legolias.

_The Ryan Residence_

He lay next to her, his pale skin and strong, leanly muscled frame glistened in the moonlight. His dark hair flowed down his neck and spilled onto his shoulders. A patch of facial hair grew on his chin and came up to a point under his lower lip. He kissed Angela's shoulders making her gasp, goose flesh raised on her skin.

"Shall we continue," The entity said.

"No, my husband will be home soon." Angela said.

"Then I will come again, my beloved." He said and walked towards the window.

"What do they call you?" Angela said.

"They have called me many things." He said.

"What do they call you now?" She said.

"Legolias." He said. She could hear Lance coming down the hall. Quickly she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. Legolias lingered on a tree branch outside the window. He looked at the Reaper and smiled.

"My other half, we meet again." He said.

_TBC_


	31. Chapter 31

Tales from the Club Room

Episode 81: Selling the Pawns

Angela lay in bed the next morning feeling as if she had been run over by a semi-truck bound for Wal-Mart. She had felt groggy before, the times in which she would stay up late and cram for exams led her to feel the effects of sleeping only to shortly be awoken by the gritty beeps of an alarm clock. This, however was not one of those feelings, her eyes were narrowed to slits letting her get a glimpse of the world around her. She could tell that honey colored sunlight had begun to stream into the bedroom; she touched the spot next to her on the bed and found that her husband was no longer there. The sounds coming from outside the room were those of running water and the click and clang of dishes being washed. She had missed breakfast. Staring up at the ceiling she began to wonder about the night before. Her odd dream, if you would call it a dream, was still vivid in her mind. The gears in her brain turned and tried to get her up out of the bed.

"Come on now, love, you need to get out of bed." Angela said, mechanically swinging her legs out of the bed and pushing herself off. She padded down to the kitchen where Lance sat sipping a cup of coffee and looking over the homicide report for the day before.

"Hey babe," Lance said, he looked at his wife's slender form and began to notice its new irregularities, "You look like hell."

"I feel like hell. Is the coffee fresh?" she said and pulled out a mug and placed it under the pot.

"I just made it, are you sure you're okay?" he said and watched as she poured cream and sugar into the coffee with shaky hands.

"I am not sure if I am or not." She said and sat down. Taking a plaintive sip of her coffee she looked at Lance from across the table.

"You ever had weird dreams? Dreams you thought were real?" She said.

"Everyone has them Ang," Lance said folding up the paper, "Dreams are a major enigma to psychologists, their purpose and function is unknown to this day. Sigmund Freud had some ideas on it but now those ideas are only mentioned to get a chuckle out of students in a first year Gen Psych class. Why do you ask?" Angela sipped her coffee and looked at him. Lance noticed that his wife looked like the walking dead. Her skin was a grey pallor the color of dried ashes after a campfire, her facial muscles looked slack, hanging, giving her the look of a chronic insomniac. Her eyes looked like a pool of dead moss, instead of shimmering jade orbs. Angela had something wrong with her, really wrong. The only spot of color was 2 red dots on the side of her neck. It looked like 2 small hickeys. Pushing the thoughts out of his mind temporarily he went back to his wife's mental state.

"Do you want to tell me what you dreamt last night? Maybe I could help?" He said.

"It's really bloody strange," Angela said, "I was lying in bed and there was this man, his skin was pale, so pale it shone like a beacon in the moonlight. His body looked like it was carved out of marble and he had long black hair and we made love, fierce, passionate love. The thing was that he had your face, and your voice. It spooked me bad Lance, really bad." Angela said as her body began to tremble with fear. Lance wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the top of her head.

"It was a dream, no more, no less. This is nothing to be concerned about." He said as he lifted her chin with his hand.

"You know I love you, right?" Lance said, staring into her eyes. Angela nodded, she knew the answer but right now she felt so drained physically and emotionally that her mind refused to form words at this moment. Lance set the coffee mug in the sink and walked over to the front door. He turned to Angela.

"I am going into town to run some errands, I shouldn't be too long. You should just go back to bed and rest till you feel better, or you see a doctor." Lance said, Angela sat there and smiled weakly. As he walked outside Lance's mind turned over the image of the small dots on her neck. A pang of unease ran though his gut, but still he couldn't picture anything that could do that to a person that he had encountered in his years here. Walking down the steps he looked at the sky and wondered what the world would do if it all just went away. It was a dark thought, but Lance foresaw dark times ahead.

The old warehouse used to sell fish. It still smelled like it still did too. Fred Kruger sat at a ratty plastic card table playing a game of cards with Jason. He held his hand in his burned left hand while he drummed his razor claws on the table.

"Got any threes?" Fred said. Jason turned his head to the side and then back over. That was his way of saying "Go fish" Freddy grumbled and slammed the cards on the table. Daniel was reading a copy of the New York Times he had pilfered from their killing spree last night.

"You know I'd rather play cards with someone who isn't a mongoloid moron!" Fred said, Daniel AKA Candyman turned from a report on the Democratic National Convention and looked at the scared boogeyman.

"I don't play cards, you know that." He said in his deep husky voice.

"Well what else is there to do? Play fetch with Pumpkinhead? "The rural demon looked up from where he was laying and gave a fanged smile. Freddy shouted at the demon "Lay the fuck down! I'm not playing fetch!" he said causing Pumpkinhead to let out a mewl expressing his disappointment.

"Why can't we go out in the day time," Freddy said "That pale faced fuck doesn't own us!" a voice appeared from behind Freddy.

"Is this the thanks I get for freeing you all from the Arcanum? Name calling, that's what I get?" Legolias said as he walked across the floor. He wore a black leather duster, black denim pants and black alligator cowboy boots tipped with silver. Even in the smeared sunlight the windows in the warehouse provided, he cut an impressive figure.

"Where is the trust, boys? Where is the faith that I know what's best?" He said sitting in a high backed red leather chair.

"I lost it after I found out that our jobs are a drop in the piss bucket. We got one night to kill, that's it. Now you tell us we have to wait for your OK to do it again. We're savage killers you pasty fuck! It's our job to kill." Freddy said.

"Fredrick, "Legolias said as he pushed himself up off of the chair and walked towards the dream demon, "You all are not essential to my plan. Sad to say but you all are the proverbial pawns in this game. The one I really want is the Reaper that is hunting you down. He and I have such plans. You and your late night video rental bunch are much like the Redshirts on Star Trek, you have to be sacrificed for the common good. Just be happy you got to slash one last time." Freddy Growled and raced toward Legolias, his claws poised to slash him. Legolias smiled and raised his right hand. A blue ball of fire slammed into the killer's chest and reduced him to ashes; the ashes began to sink down into the floor back down to the dark realm. Jason tilted his head and raised his machete, Legolias burned him too his hockey mask melting and leaving liquid plastic on the concrete.

"Is this necessary? "Daniel said. Legolias smiled wryly and shot him down. Pumpkinhead lay still on a pile of newspaper, whimpering, knowing what was coming next.

"Sorry old chum. You don't fit into the equation anymore." Legolias noticed the demon's eyes tearing up, he hated tears, and they were a waste of good suffering. He aimed and fired. Smiling to himself he sat down in his chair and waited for the Reaper to show up.

Lance sat in detective Hojo's office pouring over crime scene photographs. He had already seen the girl who had been sliced up in bed, but there were more. A young man was found eviscerated; the weapon was a crude hook. A biker was found with his head split in half, the weapon was a machete. The last one was of a young girl whose neck had been snapped out in front of a shrine. The priests claim it was a demon that did it. Lance knew who exactly these killers were; their names and aliases were as familiar to him as the video store he rented their movies from. Hojo nervously chewed a piece of Pocky staring out his office window.

"You expect me to believe that horror movie villains did this, don't you?" He said.

"Yes detective, 100%" Hojo bounced the Pocky up and down on his lip.

"Top brass is going to look at me like I have some kind of mental defect again, but I am used to that. Your expertise is all that matters. Now where would they be hiding?" He said.

"That I don't know, but I can assure you it's abandoned." Lance said, as the Kujibiki Unballance theme played on his cell phone. Lance picked it up and saw he had a text, he looked at it. The sender was unknown and only gave an address, something fishy was going on.

"Detective," Lance said, "I think our killers may want to say hello." Hojo stood up.

"I'll call our special response team." He said.

"I'd rather you not. This is my problem and I am going to fix it. I appreciate your help though. "Lance said walked out the door and headed to the abandoned warehouse.

Lance had noticed that the warehouse was in need of some repair. The rusted hulk of an old fish wholesale market stood like a corrugated metal monolith in the now steely grey sky that once held bright sunlight. As he walked inside he felt the sense of unease coming back, chilling his body. The escapees were not in sight, the only thing he saw in the half-light provided by the smeared windows above him was a red leather high backed chair.

"So," Legolias said, "You have arrived." The vampire stood up and walked around to face the Reaper.

"You," Lance whispered, "How did you, how did you get out of that realm? You're not even real!" Lance said.

"I am as real as you are my dear Reaper. But of course reality is subjective. Tell me my dear other half. How is that wife of yours? "Legolias said.

"What did you do to her?" Lance growled.

"Nothing, as of yet dear Reaper, let time do its thing. She is quite a screamer though. The blood was the best part, so sweet and fresh, with a hint of mellow spice. I gave her quite a ride reaper. Much better than you could ever do with your limp unit in a million years! Can you even get it up without having her wearing cat ears and going "Nya Nya?" Lance growed at him and placed his arms around Legolias' neck. Legolias countered by reaching under Lance and bending him backwards and placing his powerful arms around the Reaper's neck.

"Say the word you little shit and I will snap your neck!" Legolias hissed Lance reared up and kicked him in the head breaking the tangle they had on each other.

"Let me ask you something Legolias," Lance said huffing and gasping, "If I kill you, would it be murder or suicide?"

Legolias Laughed, "If you could kill me that is. I am afraid this is where our little meeting ends Reaper. I suggest you prepare yourself, because I have plenty more tricks up my sleeve and not all of them are nice." Legolias began to fade, his form turning into shadow and then nothing.

"Son of a bitch!" Lance shouted he raced out of the warehouse and began to search for the nearest mirror.

Angela was worse than she was before, her body ached and shivered. Sweat poured off her body, soaking the sheets on the bed she shared with Lance. She needed it, whatever that thing did in her dream, she needed it bad. It was then she heard a voice speak to her from across the room. A soft gentle voice.

"I am here my beloved." Legolias said taking off his duster and boots. Angela looked at the pale skinned god before her as he climbed towards her on the bed. "I know what you want." Legolias said as he brushed her cheek. He turned her head, giving him access to her neck, and slid his fangs deep into her, piercing her jugular. Angela gasped, and then moaned. The feeling was indescribable. She ran her hands down his wide back and felt the soft, cold skin. When he was finished he lay her down back on her pillow and curled next to her, holding her like a stuffed doll. Weakly she looked into his eyes.

"I love you, Master" she breathlessly whispered. Legolias smiled and pressed her close to him as the moon rose.

_TBC_


End file.
